***'Free' Beans goes on a tangent, off script shocker***
Due to the tropical conditions of late, the prairie has been restored by cell multiplication through photosynthesis and the grass is long. This I explained to Beans whilst sat on the rock. There was no response. I also told him about Diogenes and how he lived in a barrel. Again, he just didn't react. I said I knew a bloke who was well travelled and ate lots of pineapple. Nada, diddley squat. Then I told him that the well travelled bloke who eats lots of pineapple met some cats living in the desert.
Beans looked at me as if cats living in a pudding was a strange concept and disgusted by my incomprehensible, disassociated and totally irrelevant babble, decided that a walk was in order.
We went all of 6 yards when he stopped and refused to budge. I had to backtrack as I had a march on his slow progress.
I then had to assist and pretend to be an observation post: I lifted him up so he could study the surroundings. I guess that the unmentionable snookered by the rain and cows incident left such an imprint that in those moments of hesitation, one had to be sure to be sure.
With a very animated tail he looked. He looked Northwards. He looked Westwards. He looked... it took ages and ages and then I told him he was taking the mick so I popped him in the long grass and walked off. Beans decided he wasn't following me, he was going East towards the hedge and no where near the ditch worth studying.
I told him it was boggy over there and that there he would find cat chomping snakes and gaitors. He was undeterred.
'This is a bit of a cop out Beans', I told him. 'It's a very short walk and you need exercise since being at the cat hotel' The look said it all; complete indifference.
I don't think he cared much for my loaded comment, so I left him deep in thought and obviously slightly irritated by my presence.
