The Beans walk jolly adventure with pictures thread

[Pinno718]

Finally!

The first Beans jolly walk adventure with pictures of 2026... will have to wait.
Yeah I know - you feel like i've screwed you over but if feel screwed over too.

Alas no snow but plenty brr and sunshine to lure the intrepid dodgy bloke outside. I told him he would be like a Siberian Tiger and that they are also grey and white. I also remarked on his general podgyness gained over the monsoon season before the Christmas indulgence even began and that a few walks might cure this particular disposition (others will take time).

Things were looking optimistic. I even got to the point where I played lookout post for a Meerkat but a bit of squirming and dissent quickly followed and back to the corner of Casa Beans we went.
This is where he decided to utilise the lookout post installed by Stormin' Norman from Enniskillen, to view his surroundings and this is also where I left him:

 

[Pinno718]

Yay! The official Beans Jolly walk adventures with pictures is back.
Except it was a bit of a dull happening. A lot of grey and a lot of green. But none of these human observations could dissuade keen Beans.

I could hardly keep up. But it was dull at the ditch. Even the ditch water was as dull as ditch water in Dulwich. Even though I have never been to Dulwich, it rhymes with ditch. Which is where I left him.

 

[sungod]

more!

 

[Pinno718]

more!

Hush. The twat star needs his beauty sleep. He must not over exert himself.

 

[Pinno718]

Breaking: A unique once in a lifetime Beans no jolly walk adventure with pictures.
But don't despair or reach for the Valium. Change is (mainly unwelcome to a cat) but sometimes possible sort of maybe once in a bluish green with a hint of crimson moon.
Things didn't quite go to plan initially. You see, there was fog. Thick fog. For a moment, the thick fog broke to cast a light on Beans in a sort of biblical way - like Noah finally left on Stagecoach after the boat sank under the weight of 5m Scots. I don't know how the hell to link Beans and Noah but i've still got half a bottle of Merlot left so don't loose more hope than you already have. He looked splendid despite the internal apprehension of going in to the fog. Here he sat on the throne in front of the other look out post installed by Stormin' Normin' from Enniskillen.

At this point, all my efforts to get his furry backside moving proved fruitless. So I elected to play Meerkat lookout post and I lifted him up to look deep into the fog. There were definitely monsters. I couldn't see them but Beans could. He looked and he looked and he looked for some considerable time, so I said 'come on fella, this is getting a bit silly'. Normally, he puts his head against my face as a signal to put him down but I didn't get the signal so I decided enough was enough and I put him down. This was a near fatal decision as he proceeded to try and chew my arm off. A terrific, violent wrestling match ensued but I got the scally in a half Nelson and chewed his ear. To this, he looked me straight in the eye and went all floppy and purred. Thhhh thhh thhh, phu - that fur don't half stick to your tongue.
So I put him down again - replete with soggy right ear.
I wandered a third the way across the field but Beans didn't budge. So I called him every insult imaginable: I told him he was a stinky, lazy, scaredy. free loading, podgy, good for nothing, fat loafer from do bugger all land and a miserable excuse for a cat to boot.
It done the trick! It done the trick so much that he overtook me and bravely entered the fog:

...and we finally got there. What a happening. So much effort that took so much time and despite risking loosing a limb or two, I persevered and and got the stinky, lazy, scaredy. free loading, podgy, good for nothing, fat loafer from do bugger all land and a miserable excuse for a cat to boot the whole 103 yds to the ditch worth studying. Which is where I left him.

 

[Pinno718]

***The no Beans jolly walk adventure with pictures thread***

No Beans! Much more important things to do apparently.
So I went solo. A unique opportunity for devout followers to print some pictures off and paint your own interpretation of Beans on (abstract or otherwise).

The sitting, thinking, prevarication rock:

Lookout post number 1 installed by Stormin' Normin' from Enniskillen:

The empty, soggy prairie marshland bog field thingy:

...and no Beans jolly walk adventure would be complete without 2 things. First, the ditch worth studying:

Secondly, a Beans cat. Beans appeared long after I went for a not very jolly, lacking in action and adventure walk. I asked him whether he was going to adhere to his contractual obligations and all I got was some gobbledegook about catching a rat or VD, I couldn't make out exactly what he was saying. Whatever he did, it must have been very strenuous for the stinky, lazy, scaredy. free loading, podgy, good for nothing, fat loafer from do bugger all land and a miserable excuse for a cat to boot.

 

[Pinno718]

🎶Doo de doo de doo de doo de....🎶 Picture a cat going on a journey beyond the realms of reality, he's entering the Twilight Zone.

But before this epic adventure, I couldn't get the fat stinky layabout to budge these last few days.

After a bit of cajoling, some encouragement and a bucket load of insults, I got him to move. Every adventure starts with a single step.

As always, a bit of thinking was required. The light was fading quick and more thinking was required, then some chewing of fresh grass shoots, then some more thinking and finally I got up and started to walk across the prairie field marshland thingy wotsit...

...but Beans wasn't for moving. So I reversed, picked him up and he studied the horizon and the crows and the field and the other fields and the cows in the other fields and the hedge and the sky and distraction noises from the road and everything that twitched... I put him back down. I walked. He didn't budge. So I ended up carrying him 51 and a half yards. Then I put him down and that was enough to persuade him to walk the remainder and that the ditch was worth studying. Which is where I left him.