Teacher asks a class of young children to relate a story with a moral attached.
Little Jane at the front says she went to the fairground with her mummy and daddy at the weekend. Daddy won a chicken and told her they would make lots of money from selling eggs. The chicken died, daddy didn't make any money and little Jane was upset.
So, asked the teacher, what is the moral of that story Jane.
Don't count your chickens before they hatch Miss.
At the back of the class little Billy puts his hand up, straining to get noticed. Yes Billy, tell us your story.
Well Miss, it was in the World War 2. My grandad was in a trench, all around him had been killed. All he had was his rifle, 6 bullets, a bayonet and bottle of whiskey. He looks up out of the trench and sees 7 German soldiers running towards his position. He loads the bullets into the rifle, fixes the bayonet then drinks the bottle of whiskey. Grandad then jumped out the trench and charged the advancing German soldiers. He shot 6 of them and bayoneted the last German, killing them all.
The teacher asked Billy what the moral of his story was.
Don't f*ck with Grandad when he's pissed Miss.