[Cinematic voice]
He stalked the Glasgow street at night, protecting the innocent lycra wearer and punishing the evil road users with his powerful head shake
. However, the forces of evil grew stronger and threatened to break out of the bus forum server firewalls that had held the blubbering hordes back for generations. He had to protect himself, his ideals and his fight for justice. So he retired to his lair to contemplate his next move.
In a moment of inspiration brought on by the latest Batman DVD, which he had hired from blockbuster just hours before (Cert 15), his new persona was born. From that day forward, the good cyclists of Glasgow could call upon his services in times of need, and the bad drivers feared the red flashing glow in the sky that heralded his appearance (his new Blackburn Mars 4.0 Flasher, aimed at the wrong angle).
At last Glasgow's real hero had arrived.....no not John 'Smeato' Smeaton, oh no.....it was CAPTAIN CAAAAAAAMEEEEERAAAMAN!!!!!!!!!
....and that is how I came by my avatar. It's all true, my friends, it's allllll true....
[/Cinematic voice]