the recovery

[byegad]

Merry Xmas to everyone. I hope the SBGG remembered to pack some Tinsel, a Turkey and a candle*. That way he can cook the turkey and make the packing case look festive.

Remembering he had all kinds of stuff packed into his long johns. The mind boggles as to where he had the candle!

 

[n-ick]

Let's hope that he's been burning it at both ends !

 

[Speicher]

You are so 'orrible to SBGG! I am going to send him lots of and xxxxxx.

 

[byegad]

Nurse!

We have another one here! ^

 

[n-ick]

Room 101 beckons.


Lord Coe.

 

[byegad]

Piers Morgan, the very definition of countryside*, before the Yanks deport him for speaking in favour of gun control.

* Killing Piers Morgan = Countryside

 

[byegad]

Margaret Thatcher, but I'd be happy to keep the 'growth'!

 

[n-ick]

Beware, growths can become terrible things, probably the origin of the SSGG.

Where is the blighter ?

 

[byegad]

They let her out of hospital.

 

[byegad]

Oh!

Sorry you meant the SBGG. Hopefully still in the none too tender care of Royal Fail.

 

[markg0vbr]

The penguin of death
Things you need to know
He is strangely attractive because of his enigmatic smile.
He can kill you in any one of 412 different ways.

Up the workers
Because of a clerical error the three different places the old aeroplane / box has been deliverd to , it has been turned away from.
If you stand on your head in a box is it then upside down or are you? Can the speed of nose drips be used as a rough tempritur gage?

Awwww hugs bless....
Watch for splinters.


I have started to plan an escape ... Er plan! Using the screw driver pliers and crow bar I have dismantled the mobile phone I had in my pocket and built a 0.000001watt morse code transmitter it should have a range of several feet. Hopefully one of my fellow radio hams will be monitoring the distreass frequency and render assistance.

The box was on a daft tilt last night I had to get out and straighten it up it had just been put on a cardboard box of some Watford castle glasses.

Ho and before I forget ....help! Hang the expense !

 

[n-ick]

NURSE!!!
Whatever he's on, I don't want any.Especially if it glows in the dark.

Given that spring is on the way, I'm sure that he'd be better off outside away
From the other inmates and the goldfish bowl.

 

[byegad]

Looks like Scoosh decide to be wise and refuse delivery. To refuse refuse is a good thing.

 

[markg0vbr]

I believe I have a contact, I will just shout for him to turn his arial around my way.
It is a marginal signal but it Is working.

He is contacting the RAYNET The Radio Amateurs' Emergency Network is the UK's national voluntary communications service provided for the community by licensed radio amateurs.
There ded excited they've never had a real emergency in there history, he is giving them a rig on the mobile to turn on the equipment.
They have got the setup, liner amplifier heat up and net relay network down to three hours, gosh in the early years they would have to get steam up first so they are pushing the envelope a bit now.

A relay message will be sent on 80m as the most reliable ban for the rough terrain we are in, because of the odd behaviour of this frequency the nearest station we can contact will be in the hi land of Scotland.
He is going to relay the message to a chap in Glasgow via 70mhz this will be down linked through the Internet gateway via a server in Silicon Valley to a local 144mhz repeater bill has already phoned frank to nip around to kick on Ian's door* so rescue is imminent

Retribution will be swift and merciless on the perpetrators of my kid napping, I will eat all the hazelnut swirls out of the tin of roses for a start and may remove the battery's from the remote control, last time they wear watching the same Chanel for a week.

*he is on monitoring duty for the repeater but is getting on a bit and he can some times drift off, his mobility scooter is fully charged and he can be at the police station over the road from hear in a matter of hours with a telegram requesting help.

 

[markg0vbr]

Thumbing a lift, but having a bit of bother.
I have tried showing a bit of shaply leg and smiling a lot as I thumb but people are not stoping, some are even speeding up!

I have a cunning plan I will shove some grass up my jumper making it lumpy that seams to attract attention for some odd reason, it is a shame I have not got a blond wig as well.
But the long John supply chest has come up trumps* I have a pair of fish net tights I will don them over the long johns as they are a dull Gary** the red fishnets will show up well.

Huermm cough cough. <Falsetto wobble voice> are you going my way <batt long thick lashes, remembering to pout and twirl ends of mustache>.
All I need now is to modify my hobnail slippers.



*not that kind before you think it.
**i get sewn in to my long johns about September and cut out of them in may so by the end of December they are about mid way along the color index. They are a familytradition and have been passed down for generations.
If you follow the Albert theory of relatives when two objects collide ikle bits of matter are interchanged this means after 30 jenerations inhabiting the same long johns they are probably almost as human as I am and perhaps even sentient.