the recovery

[byegad]

You may scoff Speicher old beaness, but it works!

It may interest you to know that the High Energy Fizziks lab at Durham University for the edification of young peeple is, at this moment, working* on developing a SBGG specific version of Oofle dust, to be known as Awful Dust. Designed to repel the Sbgg, early tests suggest it works, having repelled him so much he went to Americaland and is planning to go to Spain soonest. The Sighentifik Ethiks Kommitte** are debating tonight as to whether the strength should be reduced to allow him to visit West Yorkshire. I am informed that the entire population of Rawmarsh are coming to ensure that they do not reduce the strength!

*Between 1 hour tea breaks, 3 hour lunches and the traditional Friday Golf Competition!^

**This bunch of wastrels, hangers-on and incompetents decided last week to dispose of the letter c. This despite the fact that Jeremy ?unt is still in the cabinet. Losers!

^This consists of a putting challenge on the Eighteenth green followed by an all day boozing session which usually ends in Durham Magistrates Court in special session on Saturday afternnon.

 

[n-ick]

I bow to thy erudition in such matters and have found a recent portrait, probably a "selfie",

 

[byegad]

'Tis I!

The likeness is stunning. Rather like the SBGG's BO.

 

[markg0vbr]

You may scoff Speicher old beaness, but it works!

It may interest you to know that the High Energy Fizziks lab at Durham University for the edification of young peeple is, at this moment, working* on developing a SBGG specific version of Oofle dust, to be known as Awful Dust. Designed to repel the Sbgg, early tests suggest it works, having repelled him so much he went to Americaland and is planning to go to Spain soonest. The Sighentifik Ethiks Kommitte** are debating tonight as to whether the strength should be reduced to allow him to visit West Yorkshire. I am informed that the entire population of Rawmarsh are coming to ensure that they do not reduce the strength!

Unfortunately this was probably a coincidence as I have next to no seance of smell, having had a vacuum cleaner related accident when I was a toddler. The good old Hoover deluxe, it was my favert stead giving a warm and buzzy / very loud ride until I fell of one day.

I had my post joliday weigh in to day..... I lost 3.5kg but my chaesicals are bigger.

I had my performance and development review last week, my boss says they are under using my skills and aptitude, this is never a good thing I think lard some one is looking to of load some crap frustrating work!

Harley's are a bit like my beloved BMW boxer "agricultural" this gives them lots of appeal to some people and lend them selves to a relaxed flowing stile of riding.

 

[Speicher]

You must have been very ickle to fall off an old hover.

Was it like this one?

I expect there is still one of those at Byegad Manor, and that it is utilised in the valetting of the horseless carriage.

 

[byegad]

Given he can't ride a hoover how does he expect to ride three wheels. I've seen him run his trike into the hedge on a smooth cycle path. He's obviously a cylceopath!

 

[markg0vbr]

You must have been very ickle to fall off an old hover.

Was it like this one?

I expect there is still one of those at Byegad Manor, and that it is utilised

Now that is what I call a Christmas present! They cost a lot of money back then. A woman with a twin tub and a vacuum had all her ambitions for filled.

The one we had was pale brown the top was a bit rounded and the bit where the light shone out warped around the edges, gosh I can still remember the smell of the thing, that loud rumbling noise.

It was a Hoover that a woman could make it clear she was not amused with her man just the way she aggressively swished it about* while making huffing and sighing noises, as they were rather robust and the furniture was mad to last she could rely bang it in to things and not brake any thing, plus they could take out most of the radio and two of the three tv Chanel's for up to 100 yards.

I some times think that is why my mum is a bit mut n Jeff, she should have had ear defenders on while revenge hoovering.

*probably the only thing better was the ewbank

non electric so dint have to put a shilling in the meater and would deliver a mortal blow to a unwary ankle.

 

[n-ick]

By jinks ! Here is a poor fellow stuck in a time warp.
A fellow who would no doubt take us back to the Dark Ages and possibly beyond. To the very time of Nothingness, which sweeps across both his fortress , between both ears with little hindrance.

 

[markg0vbr]

I think the rot set in the moral fiber of Britannia with the invention of fabric softener.
A good brisk rub down with a towel that you have to hit with a hammer to get the worst of the scratchy bit blunted before you can use it, is good for you stiff upper lip.

 

[byegad]

Hang on!



OK Ladies! I'm ready now.


KILL!

 

[markg0vbr]

I am a bit out of faze with my universe today, I had a lot of nasty people ranting down the phone a me* and every bit of me hurts :-( I have been juggling jobs around the
Christmasholidythatintheuklastforaboutthreeweeksbuttherestoftheworldgetitoverwithinoneafternoon.

I think I will go in to hibernation and get my lads to pop in to the office with a blow up sbgg the days I should be in, no one will notice.


Then some one pushed in front of me at the supermarket till*
*what kind of rotten horrible nasty person would pick on a cripple

 

[byegad]

*what kind of rotten horrible nasty person would pick on a cripple

ME!!!!! Able bodied people fight back.

On a serious note I hope you spoke to them at length! I expect to see an upward blip on the suicide rate in Rawmarsh.

 

[Scoosh]

We used to have one of those when I was little ! Dead posh, we were ...

 

[byegad]

You were lucky, we had to clean the floor with our tongues and pay for the privilege. That was before we worked 25 hours down't pit and got killed every night by Dad if we were late back from the shift, or hadn't earned more than 1s 6d.

Life was tough when we was kids.

 

[Scoosh]

My, how you have made it big !

... and there was me thinking you came from 'old money', with all the talk of Byegad Towers, carriages, servants etc ...

Nouveau riche, eh ?