byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Cummon!
Where's the news of a recovery we were promised?
Where's the news of a recovery we were promised?
the recovery
- Thread starter markg0vbr
- Start date
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n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Yo Cosmio,
has tha' not noticed we're on PAGE 50 and still no sign of RECOVERY.
The League and the country expects.
Take heed sir.
Wheels of fire will turn.
has tha' not noticed we're on PAGE 50 and still no sign of RECOVERY.
The League and the country expects.
Take heed sir.
Wheels of fire will turn.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Don't worry Nick, I'm packing my Junior Home Surgeon kit for Wooler. We can knock him out with a couple of wine gums dissolved in water and whip off the leg while he's not looking. Think of the weight he'd save!
Once the stitches are out (Which reminds me can anyone bring an office stapler so we can temporarily close the wound?) he will be hopping around like a one legged thing in no time.
An added benefit is it might slow the beggar down, then I'll be able to keep up with him.
May be good if someone can bring a length of rope, in case he wakes up during the operation. Also to be used so he can tow me on the rides.
Once the stitches are out (Which reminds me can anyone bring an office stapler so we can temporarily close the wound?) he will be hopping around like a one legged thing in no time.
An added benefit is it might slow the beggar down, then I'll be able to keep up with him.
May be good if someone can bring a length of rope, in case he wakes up during the operation. Also to be used so he can tow me on the rides.
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Yo Cosmo,
take note sir, the Headless rider has left her lair in Redcar. Riding an orange Trice S, she will be hunting sir.
Do not mistake her for Orville the duck , she just sounds like that.
Be prepared sir, bring a rosary ( in your case some rosemary) and plenty of spendable honey ( in your case money).
With hope , and you on your knees we might indeed witness a miracle RECOVERY.
If we can find a chair without rubber stops and 3 other lifters, I am willing to demonstrate the amazing spectacle of antigravity.You are volunteered.
Once again we will provide ear plugs, as we don't want to enjoy your screams.
take note sir, the Headless rider has left her lair in Redcar. Riding an orange Trice S, she will be hunting sir.
Do not mistake her for Orville the duck , she just sounds like that.
Be prepared sir, bring a rosary ( in your case some rosemary) and plenty of spendable honey ( in your case money).
With hope , and you on your knees we might indeed witness a miracle RECOVERY.
If we can find a chair without rubber stops and 3 other lifters, I am willing to demonstrate the amazing spectacle of antigravity.You are volunteered.
Once again we will provide ear plugs, as we don't want to enjoy your screams.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Oh! No! Not the headless rider of Olde Redcar Towne!
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Meets the Legless rider of Rawmarsh city !
OP
OP
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
HO! NOOO! run away (or limp hypothetically in circles).
twas a slightly overcast and a bit whiny afternoon.
a rude ostler twas ambling along, with his balaclava tucked in to his vest; when from the woods came the cry HO NO!....
a chill slowly began dribbling down his left leg, gosh that dose not sound good! putting a bit of pace in to his peddling he began scanning the hedge rows and field edges for signs of movement.
Then the hart rending screen started like the talons of a unimaginable beast from the pits of hell being dragged across the black board of the universe.
as he accelerated so hither too UN-drempt of velocity, from the corner of one eye a glimpse of some thing! coming across the ploughed field, lurching across the broken ground; later in the pub with several large tots of distild liqueur in him and time for reflection he would describe it as, "right fink of a inside out blood sosage, with extra bits n' with this look on its face, if it had one like, sorta not looking at you but staring really hard with it teeth, that it didn't have".
at this precise moment n-ick with the well practised innate timing walked in "i believe you had a spot of bother on the road my good man", a lot of the patrons wear accustomed to n-ick's theatrical manner of speaking.
cutting a dashing figure in yellow tights, massive brimmed hat sporting several clumps as what can only be described as what is left after three birds of paradise have been pulled back wards through a large knot hole in a plank of wood and carrying a copper frying pan polished to a high sheen.
the surreptitious look several of the patron gave each other said "this might be good". How are you then gov? enquired the ostler; I am the n-ick sworn to defend the defencless help the helpless and eat big pies, NOT! necessarily in that order.
after a slightly confused conversation involving some mimicry of the offending beast several rough drawing and a quantity of beer, the n-ick mounted (well fell gracefully on to his stead) and peddled of into the night.
at last the hunt was on for the beast of "that bit of sort of not quite flat land just oar back'er harlington, tover mar way si'thi".
i was unofficially interrogated by the HR Gestapo today, re the RECOVERY.
dates times severity of pain quantity of pain killers ect all unofficial like but every word was being taken down unofficially and may be used in evidence later.
i repeated my previous deviance re mileage done on what and when type of other exorcise ect, unofficially my manager how is taking early retirement and is using his leave up to his finishing date had phoned her up to say how well i seemed to be doing on my various miens of conveyance.
he will be sorly missed, as i am not that good at throwing now i am out of balance "not that i like to mention my slight infirmity"
twas a slightly overcast and a bit whiny afternoon.
a rude ostler twas ambling along, with his balaclava tucked in to his vest; when from the woods came the cry HO NO!....
a chill slowly began dribbling down his left leg, gosh that dose not sound good! putting a bit of pace in to his peddling he began scanning the hedge rows and field edges for signs of movement.
Then the hart rending screen started like the talons of a unimaginable beast from the pits of hell being dragged across the black board of the universe.
as he accelerated so hither too UN-drempt of velocity, from the corner of one eye a glimpse of some thing! coming across the ploughed field, lurching across the broken ground; later in the pub with several large tots of distild liqueur in him and time for reflection he would describe it as, "right fink of a inside out blood sosage, with extra bits n' with this look on its face, if it had one like, sorta not looking at you but staring really hard with it teeth, that it didn't have".
at this precise moment n-ick with the well practised innate timing walked in "i believe you had a spot of bother on the road my good man", a lot of the patrons wear accustomed to n-ick's theatrical manner of speaking.
cutting a dashing figure in yellow tights, massive brimmed hat sporting several clumps as what can only be described as what is left after three birds of paradise have been pulled back wards through a large knot hole in a plank of wood and carrying a copper frying pan polished to a high sheen.
the surreptitious look several of the patron gave each other said "this might be good". How are you then gov? enquired the ostler; I am the n-ick sworn to defend the defencless help the helpless and eat big pies, NOT! necessarily in that order.
after a slightly confused conversation involving some mimicry of the offending beast several rough drawing and a quantity of beer, the n-ick mounted (well fell gracefully on to his stead) and peddled of into the night.
at last the hunt was on for the beast of "that bit of sort of not quite flat land just oar back'er harlington, tover mar way si'thi".
i was unofficially interrogated by the HR Gestapo today, re the RECOVERY.
dates times severity of pain quantity of pain killers ect all unofficial like but every word was being taken down unofficially and may be used in evidence later.
i repeated my previous deviance re mileage done on what and when type of other exorcise ect, unofficially my manager how is taking early retirement and is using his leave up to his finishing date had phoned her up to say how well i seemed to be doing on my various miens of conveyance.
he will be sorly missed, as i am not that good at throwing now i am out of balance "not that i like to mention my slight infirmity"
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Yo cosminioso,
definately sounds like tha' needs excorcism by any miens, we must look to the dater.
Thankyou for my biography.
Tha' should withdraw from the field on the grounds of shrunken mind , apathy and limpness.
Just show them this 50 page thread and they should give you just desserts.
I cannot in any honesty think of any future use for you, except to frighten children and small dogs into eating up their greens.
There might be a vacany in magic acts; saw the Middle Northerner in half or knife thrower's assistant.We can arrange some practice sessions , soon.
Are you torn between axe, knife throwing or torso cutting ?
These measures above all else will before December aid RECOVERY.
Spud should be out of hibernation by then.I've never seen anyone so close to a plastic tortoise.
definately sounds like tha' needs excorcism by any miens, we must look to the dater.
Thankyou for my biography.
Tha' should withdraw from the field on the grounds of shrunken mind , apathy and limpness.
Just show them this 50 page thread and they should give you just desserts.
I cannot in any honesty think of any future use for you, except to frighten children and small dogs into eating up their greens.
There might be a vacany in magic acts; saw the Middle Northerner in half or knife thrower's assistant.We can arrange some practice sessions , soon.
Are you torn between axe, knife throwing or torso cutting ?
These measures above all else will before December aid RECOVERY.
Spud should be out of hibernation by then.I've never seen anyone so close to a plastic tortoise.
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Just desserts, yes, an excellent name for a restaurant.
Bananana Fritterers with maple syrup and ice cream
followed by Pineapply Fritterers with cream
Bananana Fritterers with maple syrup and ice cream
followed by Pineapply Fritterers with cream
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Spud is out of Hiber nation.
I do not remember him saying anything about visiting Scotlandshire.
I do not remember him saying anything about visiting Scotlandshire.
OP
OP
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
he is always up for the haggis hunt.
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Yo Cosmio,
never mind your fantasies, time to apply yourself to rehabilitation and RECOVERY.
HR= Human reckage.......good luck roadside forager.
never mind your fantasies, time to apply yourself to rehabilitation and RECOVERY.
HR= Human reckage.......good luck roadside forager.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
I had a missive from the Spudulator, who is awaiting an operation. Once they find his brain, I understand a proctologist is doing the operation, he expects to make a full recovery and be back to normal fairly quickly.
However, as he's never been normal I don't know what to expect! Anyone have any ideas?
However, as he's never been normal I don't know what to expect! Anyone have any ideas?
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
'Tis true enough. I think he needs a fundamentalist to operate. Cosmo is up on botchy operators.
Take heed Cosmo, the Adled Women, the Man from Mold and the Devon League are all making their way North.
Once there was news of Catrike ,then there was news of RECOVERY. Now all has stalled across
Barterland.
Take care sir, forces are on the move.
Take heed Cosmo, the Adled Women, the Man from Mold and the Devon League are all making their way North.
Once there was news of Catrike ,then there was news of RECOVERY. Now all has stalled across
Barterland.
Take care sir, forces are on the move.
OP
OP
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
There are some universal truths in life; if you have nipped to the shop, a parcel delivery man will be knocking on you door within 30 second of you leaving the drive, all chocolate bars will make you fat if you eat two many of them and when peddling through a totally deserted, haunted woodland while pissed, dressed like a Hollywood version of one of the more flamboyant musketeers.
A hag like soothsayer will lurch out at you in a dramatic idiom; HO NO! Be wear the ides of Thursday afternoon about tea time; HO NO! Thrice HO NO! Screeched the hag.
A vast yea hag! “Gosh old chap would one mind keeping within the idiom old been” said the hag in a rather cultured theatrical voice, before dropping back in to the screeching whiny voice; enter these here woods at your own peril subsection 3b-2 clearly states all heroic car rectors should sign in at the lightning struck oak tree for health and safety orientation and liability waver signature verification.
Holly yellow tights batman said n-ick, HO NO! screeched the hag that is direct copy right infringement, a immediate cease and desist notice will be issued forth with, handing n-ick the notice.
n-ick girding his loins, rebuffed the Hag” I am a hero I neither need or care nothing for your petty concerns and docket/counterfoil tickets.” Striking a dramatic pose slightly lessened by the fact the arss was hanging out of his tights.
The distant sound of gravy hitting a pie crust, like the waves on Cleethorpes sea front stopped n-ick in mid gesticulation (which should not be attempted by a novice gesticulator as serous and permanent injury my be done, n-ick being a third danddy snake belt expert in the art of gesticulation) gave only a slight grunt of pain.
Harken hag pie is being served some were in the vicinity, nay yon hero clad in slightly disturbing garb the now board looking and a lot less screechy hag replied, look pal i am minimum equate rate for this gig.
A hag like soothsayer will lurch out at you in a dramatic idiom; HO NO! Be wear the ides of Thursday afternoon about tea time; HO NO! Thrice HO NO! Screeched the hag.
A vast yea hag! “Gosh old chap would one mind keeping within the idiom old been” said the hag in a rather cultured theatrical voice, before dropping back in to the screeching whiny voice; enter these here woods at your own peril subsection 3b-2 clearly states all heroic car rectors should sign in at the lightning struck oak tree for health and safety orientation and liability waver signature verification.
Holly yellow tights batman said n-ick, HO NO! screeched the hag that is direct copy right infringement, a immediate cease and desist notice will be issued forth with, handing n-ick the notice.
n-ick girding his loins, rebuffed the Hag” I am a hero I neither need or care nothing for your petty concerns and docket/counterfoil tickets.” Striking a dramatic pose slightly lessened by the fact the arss was hanging out of his tights.
The distant sound of gravy hitting a pie crust, like the waves on Cleethorpes sea front stopped n-ick in mid gesticulation (which should not be attempted by a novice gesticulator as serous and permanent injury my be done, n-ick being a third danddy snake belt expert in the art of gesticulation) gave only a slight grunt of pain.
Harken hag pie is being served some were in the vicinity, nay yon hero clad in slightly disturbing garb the now board looking and a lot less screechy hag replied, look pal i am minimum equate rate for this gig.
