within 45 chains of park gate, we are still allowed to demand a suspected Viking show us the label of his underpants, you are not allowed to carry more than five herring in your vest on Tuesdays and cleaving of futtocks can only be done with a letter giving you permission from your mum, and in sight of Stewart.
ian is named after i'anson or "very attractive to dogs" by the people of his village, from the Norse mythology, i'anson was a bit of a chap, he used thin strips of bone and cartilage woven together mixed with tree sap/resin to make the first carbon fibre like materiel, the primitive methods used of course did not match today version --"though pre-dating it by several weeks"-- and the smell of slightly rotting bone, sinew was apparently a bit of a drawback.
this ultra light tough material revolutionised the Viking civilisation, they were the first to invent the nose clip, i'anson long boat dash board panels making them lighter and faster, a recently discovered, i'anson shield could also have been used as a wheel on one of his fighting chairs, this devise was much feared through out Christendom, if unleashed with a berserker seated on it entire herds of over weight fag smoking bints have been known to stampede through shopping canters in blind panic!
gosh don't you lot know anything? wikipedia people, wikipedia! it was invented it for a reason.
