the recovery

[markg0vbr]

er nope not got a computer yet, might get one monday, i have to sit at a desk and pretend to be doing some think in case the head of department walks through to tell us we are all doing very well.
tomorrow i will introduced to the telephone, it is voip system people how have been using it for 4 years still have not worked it all out yet!
the chair is sort of like sitting on one of them been bag things but full of bent nails broken bricks and horse dung some one periodical sticks a hot knife in my back.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmino,
sympathies matey, had 10 years in t'council office.
Just agree with everyone, don't volunteer for anything and for Christ sake DON'T come up with any ideas.Keep a low profile and blend into the wallpaper. Keep tha' intray full.

Get good at making tea, going to meetings without falling asleep,collecting lottery money and looking busy.We had a mini golf course through the engineers office.That was before the yoyo craze took over.
With regards to action plans/targets/annual reports , we just changed the date on the front, nobody noticed.

Actual work might take up a small % of your day.Remember the higher up they are the less they know.

Is this the actual RECOVERY? or is there more to come?

 

[byegad]

You'd fit in well with Durham County council, when asked 'How many people work for the Council?', the leader of the majority party said 'About half of them.' Just make sure you get in the right half.

 

[markg0vbr]

there will be three of us taking calls putting jobs on for taking messages doing orbit searches on, ongoing jobs ect for 65 staff + the overflow on the phone system from all other departments, so if they cant be bothered to answer the phone it comes to us to sort out.

the training i have had so for is.
"ok to enter a new job"brrrrrr brrrrr "hello ...... ...... ....... sue speaking bla bla bla 10mins later "ok you have to deside which of the 5 dater/ job entry systems we" brrrrr brrrrr "hello ......... ......... ...... sue speaking bla bla bla 10 mins later" what was we ding? ho yes" brrrr brrrrr brrrrrr. ect.



we had a 15 minuet uninterrupted how to log on to the phone system, then the phones went in to over drive again.

i got home last night made a trike cover for the hand bike so i can go in on that today, then did a 30 mile ride got in at just gone 9 i will do some work on the head light cowling s as there is a bit two much light hitting the screen. they would be best up on the screen but as i have to take it off to get in the house i think it would be a faff, i could fit them to the brackets but they would be vulnerable or the fitments would have to be heavy,
the only other option is to fit them inside the screen up at the front but would need a bracket fastening to the screen with bolts.

 

[byegad]

Phone work is easy. I did it for 9 years.
Rules to remember.
1. They need something from you.
2. Only you can decide to give it to them.
3. If its possible and easy, do it.
4. If it's possible but hard to do, ask a colleague how to do it. If you act thick enough said colleague may well do it for you, it will save them time.
5. If it's impossible to do, tell the caller it can't be done.
6. If it's impossible and the caller still insists you have a choice.
a. Tell them you'll do it, and put a note on the account to say you tried but department X stopped you. Make sure department X is a big one and they are really busy.
b. Pass the problem to someone else. Supervisors get paid to know more than you, they deserve to work for the extra money they get. So let them.
7. If all else fails tell the caller you can't hear them, repeat back things they've said translated to rubbish (You should be good at this!) and ask them to call back. With luck someone else will get the call.

While the organisation will have rules about how many calls you take and how long they should last and how much time between calls you are allowed to make note, drink coffee and breathe. They are merely rules and can be broken.

I worked with one woman who had excellent statistics and took twice as many calls as anyone else on the team. She did this by doing nothing, except answer the phone. So the caller got a really helpful woman who said yes to everything, but did not action any requests. It took the firm three years to sack her. If you do some real work you could last to retirement age, whenever that might be.

 

[byegad]

P.S.

If they give you a computer and you can get online you could haunt Cycle Chat every day.

Computers are a great way to look busy and if you have your head down typing people will leave you alone.

Learn what locks up your computer. I worked with a guy who took a 40 minute break every day while his computer re booted and he installed all his settings. He'd learnt how to lock it up and it took IT years to work out how he did it. Meantime he'd been promoted to team leader!

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosimonoi,
tha's going to be a credit to t'white collars of Middle North. I only wish that I lived in your area and had a direct line.
We have a large snail on the patio heading in your direction.Have a care sir and bolt tha' doors at night.

Is tha' on the premium rate RECOVERY line?
If tha's "cheeky whip boy", then I'll have a refund.

 

[markg0vbr]

i do 5 difrent 0898 numbers on the side, it can be a bit confusing, if there are any of the medium to high Walters drifting about.
10 miles on the hand bike today, 22 miles on the trike.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Csomono,
tha' must indeed be the most talented white collar in Lower North England. If indeed that was you as"shifty priest will whip confessions from you" on line 6, then I want double my refund. I found your advice useless, it must have been you when you started on about lard.

I saw an extremely large hedgehog tonight moving in your direction. Bolt tha' doors sir and don't put out dogfood.Tha'll get a good view wi' big moon out.

Will multi-tasking lead you faster down the road to recovery ?

 

[markg0vbr]

lard has been lacking this week, the number of pepole on fad diets "eating a grape fruit after a five course dinner burns all the fat off" ect. i did point out they can eat what they wont if they burn it off, i was looked at as though insane and asked what was the secret to my defined athletic fizeek, "er about 200miles of trike/hand bike riding a week".....

 

[n-ick]

Yo Coismio,
tha' are indeed as svelte and cord like, the very Adonis of trikism.

In Middle England we have not only "salad dodgers", but enormous portions of chips fried in beef
dripping. This is working as natural selection , which will eventually lead to a race of svelte whippet people.Average age about 80.

We are indeed looking forward to your efforts in the North.I understand that you are in room 101.

Beware sir, burnings over intake will thwart the RECOVERY.

 

[byegad]

If you only eat food with no vowels in their names you'll lose weight.

It's called Vowel Disorder.

As we are leaving page 40 of this ramble several things are worth the teams notice.

1. No word of RECOVERY.
2. Our sun Bronzed Geek God has not yet found a spell checker that works.
and finally.
3. Life begins at forty.

 

[n-ick]

Yo,
being a dater checker he has no need of speling. I also doubt that being a call girl, he has no need of either spelling or command of the English language.

I am constantly looking forward to THE RECOVERY.
Some nights I wake up with nothing else on my mind.
I assume there is nothing on Cosmo's
mind.

Life begins at 60.

 

[markg0vbr]

the smell flicker is walking thin what is ur pink languid systematic gravy cycle!
i am limping around the office filling different meaningless forms that link to other meaningless systems so some one can punch up very impressive figures, that are totally pointless and can be manipulated to say what you wont.
one girl was today loudly informing every one about her problems expressing milk, problems at weight watchers, while eating a full box of chocolate finger biscuits.

the spank and whip phone-lines are doing well.

i got the conformation back from wooler there are some places left, the fancy dress them this year is English civil war.
i am waiting to hear if the flat knot will be asked to put on another historically inaccurate half gassed re-enactment i was thinking of the charge of the light brigade ?

 

[Speicher]

i got the conformation back from wooler there are some places left, the fancy dress them this year is English civil war.
i am waiting to hear if the flat knot will be asked to put on another historically inaccurate half gassed re-enactment i was thinking of the charge of the light brigade ?

The charge of the light brigade? Is that when you get an Eccentricity Bill?