the recovery

[markg0vbr]

you know i have just realised the paps have stopped flowing me! is my notoriety dwindling? do i need to get my self plastered all over the tabloids again? if i get my manly chest out at some c list seleb thing i might be back on the tv and get another million quid for having no discernible talent, skill or lard.


"A gentleman would have invited said eager cash laden lowlander to his garret and sent him away happy, but releived of his Euros."
i would love to do this but! i need to first dismantle the bike, wrap and pack it all in a custom made box, arraigning delivery hope that it gets there without damage trust that the chap can build it all back up without blaming me when he stuffs up ect. in my week and feeble condition! i wuld much prefer to have some one come lick the bike fondle it and take it away with them happy.

i have received another care package, but am perplexed as to what a tea strainer 5ft of thin copper pipe, several large corks with holes in them, one bubble trap, 3lb of yeast and 6lbs of sugar could possibly be used for? there is a note written on a lard wrapper.

"son this kit will keep you happy for a bit, i have been using it to run my car for the last year, also makes it easer to got the stuff about, if you follow the instructions you will have hairy palms in a week. "

you know i am beginning to think i might be the only sane person i know!

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmo,
HM government has already passed you as completely insane and awaiting mothballing on the next aircraft carrier.Plans are for hang glider attack with catapult launching,,,,, your name is down... beware sir.

I meant no disrespect to your blatent and flatulant lack of intellect, but I had imagined that if Johnnie Foreigner has contacted you then it would be only kindness to invite him over to collect said dangerous recumbent.

Not only would this promote entent cordial, but might ensure that you get free holidays in the flatlands of Edam.The Dutch live in a land down under without hills , but with endless cycle paths and good beer. Can you refrain from squandering such an oppurtunity? Think of the children , the poor dogs, the orphaned cats....

I appreciate that lower middle England is indeed the pit of inbred depravity, but the least you could do would be to keep him in a cage at the bottom of the garden until Euros were handed over. I would expect no better treatment myself.

I note that in the past that your area was not adverse to Viking invasion. Proof being your Norse like stature and the horns growing from each side of tha' head.

Beware sir, dark forces are moving across the Channel.
Act now in order to save the RECOVERY.

 

[markg0vbr]

my problem is the inability to dismantle the bike and pack it all up.
i have phoned to try and order a catrike speed but get the nanswer thingy mebob, i await with baited breath.
just want to make sure that it is the 451 rear and not the 406, less tyre choice with the 451 but i will be running durano tyres on it choose what i get.

letter to the times "i do not read the times but it just seems like the thing to do"

sir i am disgusted!
yours disgusted of rotherham.


letter to random address i found on line, this is a fantastic hobby, you do a letter print off some and send them to any address you come across, most you never get any thing back from but now and again you get a response.

this letter is for the poor sod that has to open all the letters, sort out what goes to how and never gets on themselves.
I’m going to include jokes here. Think of it and hopefully it’ll make you laugh or smile when you’re giving out the letters to every one else.

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet? To stop out the burning ducks.



What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.



There are 10 types of people in the world.

Those who know binary, and those who don’t.



How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buccaneer



A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks confused, and says, “Uh, you have a drink named Larry?”



Where does the king keep his armies?

In his sleevies.



Two fish in a tank. The first fish says to the second fish, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”



What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

I think you would call that a stick.



Did you know that Michael Jordan can jump higher than your house?

Yeah…my house can’t jump at all.



What to vegetarian zombies say?

GRAAAAAAAINNNSSSS…



Why did the cowboy have a wiener dog?

Because somebody told him to get a long little doggie.



What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

One says, “Whack! Darn!” The other says, “Darn! Whack!”



What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner (A-flat minor).



Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?

All the sailors were marooned!




now go and put your feet up have a nice cup of tea and phone some one you have thought of often but keep forgetting to call.

 

[byegad]

The Speed has 16" front wheels and a 20" rear which is a 406. I went for the trail as it's 406 all round.

 

[markg0vbr]

I think the listing on the uk sight is for last year as the speed was on a 406 rear for a short time but is back on a 451 now.

i have been looking at all the trikes they do, i have discounted the 700 and expedition with the large back wheel it would make it hard for a person in my frail condition to get in the house, the trail was a hard one with the folding seat 3 x 406 it is attractive but i have my trice q which dose the same thing as the trail + rear suspension.

i am looking for a replacement for the bacchetta, the seat on the speed is the same angle as the high race and the peddles are about the same hight above the seat, it should go in and out of the house ok and at 30lbs is only slightly heavier than the high racer.
even with the extra wheel

uk sight, standard colours, Silver Cat or Graphite, Wheel Rear 20" (406) , Bottom Bracket Height 15" (381mm)


us sight, standard colours, Graphite or Orange, Rear wheel 20" (451) ,Bottom Bracket Height 16" (406 mm)


http://www.catrike.com/catrike_speed.html
Standard ColoursGraphite, Orange, lardTotal Length 6' 3" (1.91 m)Total Width 31 1/2" (800 mm)Total Height 22" (559 mm)Bracket Height 16" (406 mm)Seat Angle29° Ergo Seat (from horizontal)Seat Height 7" (178 mm)Seat Width 14" (355 mm)Wheel Base 39" (991 mm)Wheel Track 27 1/2" (699 mm)Turning Circle 16' 6" (5.03 m)Turning Radius 8' 1/4" (2.52 m)Ground Clearance 2 1/4" (57 mm)Front Wheels349 (16")Rear Wheel451 (20")Weight30 lbs (13.6 kg)Rider Weight Limit275 lbs (125 kg)http://www.wheelnv.co.uk/speed.html
TECHNICAL DATAFIT & ERGONOMICS COMPONENTS* FEATURES • Wheels Front 16" (349mm)
• Wheel Rear 20" (406mm)
• Weight 30lb (13.6Kg)
• Wheel Base 39 " (990.6mm)
• Wheel Track 27.5" (699mm)
• Total Width 31.5" (800mm)
• Seat Height 7" (178mm)
• Turning Circle 16' 6" (5.03m)
• Turning Radius 99 ” (2515mm)
• Gear Inch Range 19" to 95"
• Ground Clearance 2.25” (57.15mm)

• 29 Degrees Seat (from horizontal)
• Rider Weight Limit 275Lb.
• Seat Width 14" (355mm)
• Bottom Bracket Height 15" (381mm)
• X-Seam 39 to 46"
• (Option Extra Long Boom Up to 53")• 27 Speed Drive Train
• Shimano Dura Ace Bar End Shifters
• Shimano Deore LX Rear Derraileur
• Avid BB7 Mechanical Disc Brakes
• Avid FR5 Flat Pull Brake Lever
• Truvativ Elita EXO 165mm Triple
• SRAM PG 950 11-32 cassette
• KMC X9 Chain
• TerraCycle Sport power idler

Standard Colours: Silver Cat or Graphite (Exclusive)
Optional Colours:
Basic RRP £65 (White, Yellow, Orange, Red, Blue, Black, Lime Green or Pink)
Candy RRP £95 (Red, Blue Purple)
Sparkle RRP £95 (Orange, British Racing Green)



• Schwalbe Kojak/Durano
• New Boom Clamp System
• Ackerman Compensation
• No Brake Steer
• Self Centering
• Clipless Pedals
• Mirror
• Computer Sensor Mount
• Aluminum Rod Ends
• PTFE Chain Tube
• Ergo Seat
• Double Bend Frame
• Space neck rest

 

[markg0vbr]

to day i killed my computer at work, just typing a lard mail and computer went puff, started rebooting then went puff.

phoned the "have you turned it off and on again?" department had a bit of fun getting under the desk and even better fun getting back out again. gosh how i did chuckle!
after unplugging, plugging leads ect in and out power off then on ect, there considered opinion is "its knacked pal" so went back to pretending to type for a bit then came home.

it may be 2 to 4 days before some one comes to look at it and if it is "its knacked pal" another 2 to 4 days to get a replacement!

in the old days, i was reliably informed by one mist eyed college, "if my pencil broke i would go over to the sharpener on the bosses desk and give it a turn or two and bobs your uncle back in the thick of it".
they were dangerous times though big lumps of wood with big spikes sticking out of them to put the work dockets on pigeon holes by the door for messages and filing cabernets!

in our paperless office we stack all the print offs that every one has to do to cover there backs in old card board boxes shoved up against the wall near the fire doors, we have to move them every other month when the health and safety tour is done
simpler times

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmodo,
tha' must indeedy be the denizen vampyr of paperwork.
We used to send anyone new down to IT to ask for Mike Rosoft to come up, Hugh Rinal in cleansing and Connie Furze in parks.
Basically we spent 10 years inventing projects and targets, none of wich we acheived.
On the positive side they paid us far too much money and left us alone.We surfaced at fire practice,didn't fall asleep in meetings and agreed with whatever we were told.

Has the RECOVERY been shelved, filed or forgotten about?

Don't know why you're bothering with another silly trike, one's enough. Unless you are planning on more legs.

Spud as a new batch of burger jam ready, sealed with lard.

 

[markg0vbr]

i discoverer d some things today, it takes 26 lairs of tipex painted over the word lard to reach a depth of 0.24mm a dead monitor can be used as a mirror for must ash trimming, you can not fit your tie in the post franking machine but if scanned then printed on the colour laser printer you can make a cut out clip-on!


tonight's ride was nice little pain, the cars were reasonably well behaved there was a fantastic sunset, some good jazz on radio 2, bliss.

as i was floating along thinking of 26th of july 1976, 4:35pm nothing happens special at that time but it was a hot day, i was sat on the little wall out side our council pyramid watching the painter and decorator gloss painting his van, he did this about three times a year with what ever he had left in the back, my dad said the van was 20 years old and must have doubled in weight with all the paint on it.
thick dribles of tar were runing out or the telegraf pole at the side of me and i was using it to stick twigs together and bits of paper.....and milke bottles.... and laybirds...... and was just wondring if i stick the tar encrusted finger up my nose would it stick? when the thought struck me gosh 26th of july 1976, 4:35pm that was a nice time it was also the last time i have seen white dog poo, the dog warden says dogs were given bones a lot more then. 26th of july 1976, 4:35pm i can eaven remember counting the stings on my leg from walking through the nettle patch at the side of the fence.
i was destined for the bath living in a 3 bedroomed flat with the same insulation found in a shed .... with holes in it, one open fire as the only source of heating was entertaining, according to my dad how could not walk much, i got the entertainment of fetching the buckets of coal in, the entertainment of taking the ash bucket out, the entertainment of on a winters night runing from the bath room, which even on 26th of july 1976, would be absolutely freezing to stand infront of the fire to get dried.
the bath was in my futer but on 26th of july 1976 at 4:35pm it was a long, long time off nearly 4 hours!



no i dont need another trike, i have been saving up and decided i would like another trike something with the reclined seat and high Bottom Bracket Height, just for the hell of it, some thing a bit different to the one i ride every day for my exorcise.

 

[markg0vbr]

the lights moved to under the cruciform seem to be doing the job.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmino,
Holy Ratmobile Satman! Tha' has a poetic turn of storytelling.Tha' has swallowed and digested a whole dictionary.
Has tha' ever thought of sign language ?

I understand that your talk at Wooler has been fully booked.We are looking forward to "Literature of the 16th Century."

The Spud has a 2 wheeled trike that'll fold down for postage. We could arange a drop by parachute.

I have been at the Runes, is there RECOVERY?

 

[Speicher]

The Runes? is that the Hostelry in the High Street?

 

[byegad]

It was until last night. Now after the fight it's the ruins.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmius,
has tha' RECOVERY stumbled ?
We are advocating a positive mental Attitude. Spud as developed
an electrostatic positive mental Attitude producing device, which exudes
crackling green and blue sparks of some size and fear.
We have had some preliminary trials.
Now we are sorting out electrodes from the collection.

Surely this against all other devices would see you right.

 

[markg0vbr]

i did not partake ether of the trikes today as tit was blowing a bit here abouts!


there is no need to make some electrodes i have had several permanently implanted in my skull it was when going through the "take over the world ha ha ha ha ha ha" faze i was going through, but i got better.

the wooler talk might be off, as after submitting a draft presentation a request for 5 hours to be cut was made, 16 diagrams were considered two shocking to show and the hands on "live! sort of" demonstration deemed way over budget, as the restrains would have to be bolted on to a table for the victim subjects comfort.

the works computer after a short chat lauding to recycling and large hammers came back to life, i think it needed a rest.

i am now aloud to use the tipex again! the stapler has been deemed not to be a offensive weapon as long as the staples can be pulled out without the use of pliers this was decided at the first team meeting i have been to, i also got a hello my name is Mark sticker gosh i was so prowd one of the ladys drew a ikle bunny in the corner to make it speshal like me she said the boss says i got the gist of every thing so quickly i don't have to got to another one all the others have to go ever week, "they must be a bit thick"
the lard rely hit the fan when some one reversed a taxi into one of the reinforcement officers cars today he claimed it was a accident

 

[n-ick]

Yo Coso,
tha' has again shown t'true spirit of indoor gentleman tricyclist.
Now and again it would not hurt to strip off and expose yourself , dressed for the road as a
gentleman triker.
Once a year you'll get "cycle to work day",ha, on the pretex of saving the planet.

It is little wonder they think you're special, we do , but not in that way.

In all the machinations there must be stagnation of RECOVERY.
Is it time for you to withdraw from the efforts we have made and go it alone?

Take care sir. Eyes are watching you, fingers are twitching on
the trigger. Beware of AUDIT.