the recovery

[byegad]

Is it true that Rotherham Council has spent all of its stationary budget in the last week?

Is it a coincidence that yon Geek God (Sunbronzed and deep fried.) has spent a lot of time designing the perfect paper aeroplane in order to ascend to Olympus in time for the London games in order to avoid the 25hr a day 8 days a week TV coverage?

While your there Cosmos will you pick up some ambrosia? I really fancy some creamed rice.

 

[markg0vbr]

i have commuted to work on the hand bike, once last week and twice(so far) this week it is a 10mile round trip and takes me 30 minuets going in to work and 45 to get home as some idiot put the hill in at the wrong end of town.

i have made a nice cover for the hand trike as it will not fit in to one of the 3 bike lockers we have for the 400 staff, one is full of bags of salt any way and i have only seen one bike in a locker once last week.

i did ask if i could get my new trike through the cycle to work thingy, i even pointed out that as and you all know i don't like to mention it i am a bit poorly it could be disebilety discrimination he did go a bit white at this point but he did start to breath a bit when i mentioned how much £ it was, as i knew he would he pounced on the £1000 limit as though his next diner was hiding under it (chubby chap) it was just a way to see if his last hart bypass was working

tomorrow i am going to see the same chap about parking at the new office we are moving to, as there is only parking for managers "probably the people how would benefit from the walk through town to the multi story the most" and disabled.
as under the new rules you can only have a blue badge if you have a condition that is not going to get any better for the rest of your life and they don't know whether i will or not, (i might wake up tomorrow and fined my leg has grown in the night) i cant use the disabled spaces or i will get a fine, but i can not make it to the multi story car par as it is a brisk 10 minuet walk.
it will give him some thing to do instead of following the enforcement officers around.
if he goes blue what do i do? it is a good job he is so big as i am positive he was trying to get under his desk when he herd the clack clack clack of my crutches coming down the hall.

well i think i will have a not stand up on my trike for a bit.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosm,
I would have assumed that you could park one of your trikes anywhere.
It might work if you drove in, then unloaded and cranked your way in.
If you require further references as to your status as a cranker or real brick, then don't
pass on our details. Better to refer them to this very forum.

Spud is working on something spectacular for fireworks night. I think it's a catherine wheel about
6ft across. A load of sugar, charcoal, salt petre and fertilizer have been used. Are you keen to
strap it to your machine ?

Surely this will give a boost to the RECOVERY.

 

[markg0vbr]

apparently they had some sort of meeting hr, gmb, management and some one from the occupational health services. they were in the meeting room opposite my lard desk which has glass walls so i kept going bozzeyed and making faces at the boss, he could only see me through the corner of his eye so i don't think he realised but the gmb rep may have done himself permanent harm not laughing. when anyone glanced out i gave them my extra special big grin and cheery wave


some missing files / green sheets, that are in fact white why people cant call them what they are subject specific instantiating service request or enforcement first assessment dockets pc/vc 1-v.32 were found at the back of some ones desk how retierd two months ago

10 miles on the hand bike and 25 on the trike today.

i do need references for the trip out side of Yorkshire next month for the visa, any volunteers?

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosmonaut,
looks like there might be plans to either derail or promote tha'.
I'd go along with promotion, seeing as the less you know and the more useless you are, the higher
you'll float.

Tha'll have no difficulties heading North.Just paint a white arrow on tha' bonnet and follow it.Just slip passwords into the conversation, "lard" works aswell as
"this was tested by Spud" and " I come from Yorkshire".Standing in queues for us also helps.

Tha' could also flash the "League of Gentlemen Trikers" tattoo, which we branded into your back when you fell asleep drunk at York.

With such spirit of estcasy, is there RECOVERY on the horizon?

Take pills sir, our share of the pharmecuticle stock market is falling.The man with the short leg is to blame.

 

[byegad]

It's not a passport for getting out of God's Own Glorious County that you need Mark. Yorkshire works on the premiss that anyone stupid enough to leave can damn well go. It's getting back in that can prove tricky. As you may well know I'm on missionary work to the heathens in County Durham so of course have a Yorkshire Undiplomatic passport, known colloquially as The Bloody Yorkshire Terrier. Anyone trying to stop me crossing the border into the blessed land will get their stupid heads bitten off.

So, I'm on missionary work and therefore have an excuse for not living in that heaven on earth, jewel in the bright land of England, Yorkshire. Tha's no chance of getting back in, lad. Stay home and put another log on the fire.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosimonaut,
we can smuggle back tha' back in the disguise of a SOUTHERNER(passing through).
Ignore folk, read t'Daily Mail,keep saying " I say old chap" and have a general air of superiority.

If caught tha' will be kept in a cage at the bottom of a garden.Just wait there while we figure
a way to rescue you, or not.

Spud has just completed his evening class course, " Pottery and Practical Amputation part1". Would you care to be pressganged into becoming a study case ?

This above all else will ensure monopodal RECOVERY.

 

[byegad]

Nick's right you could pretend to be a Suverner. We're just back from the Cotswolds, where we heard lots of them. They can be very loud too!

So shout 'Old Chap' and talk about things no normal person would want to tell others at the top of your voice in the bar. We heard all about one woman's operation for fibroids over dinner on Wednesday. She was three tables away and couldn't say bath but referred to her relief when allowed to have a barf after her operaeyshun.

 

[n-ick]

Yo Cosimonaut,
'tis indeede a most thoughtless plan to get tha' out of any sitaution.
I'm afraid it's out with t'miners felt hat and ferret and in with Pimms and clean socks.

Spud is at this very moment working on a transfigmoration unit , based on an old wardrobe.
Enter it as a Mid Norther and by the turn of several very painful looking bolts exit as a middle class
south of middle earth twerp.Tha' ight easily pass as T'boss.

Surely such elevation above tha' naturally inbred grovelness will ensure permanent RECOVERY.

 

[markg0vbr]

i am in a quandary what to do with the lard, at present it is hidden in a blue lard blue lard but moving the full stash might be a problem.
i have found out the surgeon that operated on my hip was not one! he just came over here said he was a surgeon and was allowed to have a go!!!

 

[byegad]

Loads of money! You can now sue the NHS for enough to keep you in the manner to which I'd like to be accustomed.

Do it!

 

[Speicher]

Yes, then you can buy a big 'ouse, and the regulars on this thread can all come and live with you!

What fun we could have!

 

[markg0vbr]

yes but i am a picture of health and vitality according to some parts of the government, even though it looks like i will never again stalk the streets of Rotherham shouting "bring out your rats", there are no redeployment jobs 47 with a gimp and lets face it no flair for office work, i might as well go and jump of a bridge.




and now for some thing no different at all.
i have been reeding a fascinating 100 page booklet about hedge dispute resolution!
in a attempt to make my self a worth wile productive member of the "teem!" and cling to the micro thin sliver of hope that i might not be out on the roger roll just in time for xmas december 22nd is the day of doom belive it or not having read, digested and cogitated on the said tome, it boils down to; your on your own pal!.
i will present my synopsis to the other members of teem "customer interaction facilitators" it says this on the wall, above the key aims statement.
my god i am f($%&*g depressed.
i wonder if i could get a freelance gig writing government leaflets they would save a lot on glossy paper and ink.

 

[byegad]

Yes, then you can buy a big 'ouse, and the regulars on this thread can all come and live with you!

What fun we could have!

I didn't know you were 'that sort' of girl.

But if we don't tell Mrs byegad it'll be OK!

 

[byegad]

X-rays don't lie. Big gap in bone+false Dr.=£1000000s. Negligence by NHS Trust employing said fraud.