
for Mark
Please take particularly note that I will not kiss your bum or any other part of your nanatomy,
The person in question did not even see you. Some peeps seem to put blinking blinkers on when they are shopsing.
I have given up visiting large dupermarkets, for anything at all. Earlier today, a very friendly gentleman delivered my groceries wot I ordered on line.

I save petrol, aggro, and do not buy things that I do not need. Freshly fruity vegetabley type goods and biskits, jams etc are procured from local "Ye Olde Fashioned" shoppes, with friendly assistants' assistance.
You may have noticed unusual thuds and beeps while I have written this post. This is cos I am using ye olde steam-powered puter. The super fast laptop puter is being repaired, I think it needs a boot up the backside or something.
That will explain my absence from this fred over the past week or so. I hope you were not thinking that you had upset me.
you could have sent a missive to bygad towers and his gentlemans, gentleman, would have transcribed it for us.

what is the lap top in for? scraping the tipex of the screen?

did you threaten it with a sound thrashing, that always works in the office.
the head of the department cam in to have a chat with head of section. as the three of us on the pones have head sets on, it is imposable to know if we are chatting to some one on the phone or each other, as we can only see the top of each others heads we just talk to the cubical wall.
the conversation was going quite well; with practised use of the mute button, two other operators asking me questions about pesting "technical term that" while i was giving advice to my caller on the correct operation of a wood burning stove mixed in with advice on a beetle infestation.
periodically we have to make notes on stats, calls in queuing answer messages left ect so mixed in with this, op 1 will say sab* if they are then in mid flow you hold up finger for you stats or shout back your numbers if they are not on a call.
voip phones are fantastic as you get special effects even if you dont want them**, so a periodic "fubar?" question is uttered by a op, followed with ok if yours is working or cheque or snap if not; this is wear the sound thrashing comes in and almost always has the system back in a jiff.
the head of department sort of stood there for a bit with this odd look on his face

and wondered off looking back now and then,

no one worked out what he came to see the head of section about, i think his brain had a sneeze.
i will have you know i have been paying quite a lot of attention to my bum, in preparation for the, mankeani Yorkshire trikers ride to raise money and the blood pressure of the fair maidens of the county; we will be riding about on trikes in mankeanis until we think people have given us enough money to stop.
how do you stand on the subject of back waxing natural or waxed?
i think i will have to start deploying my recumbent flags on the chair or fit budica wheels with the rotating spikes
*system analysis b......s
** you can hear your self saying some thing 1 second after you say some thing, which is a bit daft as if you could hear your self 1 second before you say some thing you would know what to say.