the recovery

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n-ick

Senior Member
"Also I'm sorry to hear Dumbo is ill. Perhaps you should feed the buns in the other end, you know the one with a trunk, rather than a tail."


"tusk, tusk"
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
I hope I never herd that!
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
illelephant treatment is not for the faint harted!
it should never be attempted in a mouse costume and not having a banana in your pocket might be good as well.

I wonder how many of us have seen a mouse with a banana in its pocket and carrying a chair to tame an elefumpf. Next we'll be expecting an SBGG propping up a tent.

Luckily I've been spreading elefumpf powder on my rides for years, so we no longer have them in County Durham. We do have wild boars on the loose though! Mmmm! Tasty!
 
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markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
pigs are not for eating! they should be knighted and put in the house of commons to run the country. or has that already happened?

I always carry carnivorous peak district drop sheep repellent, a very nice gentleman in the village makes it for me its only £12 a packet.
it is fantastic i have not been attacked one and not even seen a drop sheep.
he says he is working on a new repellent for income tax but is suffering teething problems.

i was back on the catrike yesterday, i had forgotten how sensitive the steering was above 40mph, it climes hills faster than the ice and goes down hills faster even though the ice is heavier.
the braking is not as good as the ice with the discs it is easy to lock the wheels up rather than the smooth braking of the ice drums.
it is odd but i get less driver abuse on the ice as well i just cant figure this out! they are both trikes both recumbent the ice has a wind wrap on and a rear carrier with a pannier on but thats all.:scratch:
 

n-ick

Senior Member
Yo Cosmo,
I can only put this anomaly down to your lack of observation. Wise folk are having a good snigger behind you.
If you placed a large wardrobe mirror over your handlebars, you would observe the reaction.

Oh, anyone who doesn't know the "difference between an elephant and a post box" is not posting my letters.

Could you please destroy your computer, or switch it off at night. I am getting terrible spam from your email, concerning enlargement of body parts, Viagra and a Nigerian doctor stuck in Rawmarsh appealing for funds to build an off licence.

Cad sir and double cad.
 
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markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
i have been unable to log in to my account for the last three days.

i could have new and interesting offers awaiting me i can not read! that nice lumpy jumper who finds me so alluring, my chance to improve the life of injured hamsters, all locked away in that green box at the end of the road.
if i can get it open i might be able to get to them.
 

n-ick

Senior Member
"and a Nigerian doctor stuck in Rawmarsh appealing for funds to build an off licence."
I'm not falling for that one.....again.

I would have thought that the post Lympic wave of regeneration and the reconsideration of the disabled would have meant offers flying at you......murderball anyone?

Personally , I should put a sledgehammer to your computer, try a practice swing in the library.
Everyone on your contact list is now reading about body part enlargement fixes and Viagra , nice.

It would appear that you also were a subscriber to Reader's Digest, Health and Efficiency and Dressage News.

Cad again sir, shame, cad sir.

" my chance to improve the life of injured hamsters, all locked away in that green box at the end of the road."
I think you'll find that is the telephone junction box, connecting the poor people of your area to the rest of us.Have a swing of that with the sledgehammer. If you see hamsters.... then treble the dose of psychotic beans that you're on.
 

n-ick

Senior Member
Sorry but what you're experiencing is the real world, welcome.
Dismal as it is , it's all us minions can offer.

The Spud has finished his sensory deprivation tank, based on a used septic tank. After 2 weeks floating in there , I don't think it's made much difference.

We can supply it to you for a limited period, have you any electric pylons nearby to connect up?
 
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markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
the motor trike goes in to be re shod tomorrow in the best tradition of triking i am putting a rear tyre on the front ....... rotating backwards.
fat rear tyres and jacked up suspention.

i have a spare wheely bin that i could convert to a isolation chamber, or i could go and sit in Rotherham foot ball ground when a match is on.
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
Well Lady Byegad and my good and great self are back from our Seaside retreat in Scarborough. We stay at our Scarborough home while there which always wake the lazy staff who gollygag and lummox around unsupervised for much of the year without the firm hand, iron rod and cat o' nine tails swung by me to scourge their lazy hides into action. Sadly we lost the oldest of our servants, Smeggers, who drowned retrieving Lady Byegad from the sea. She made it back to shore unaided in the end* and he continued the search for three more hours before succumbing to hypothermia. Serves him right given he was too idle to notice we'd left the beach. It'll encourage the others to be on their toes when we go again.

*Note to self. Remember to tie the sack more securely next time.
 
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markg0vbr

markg0vbr

Über Member
i have relatives in Scarborough, you my have come across them.
my aunt wears the same beard as me, they like to sit in the park when they are doing the battle with the model war ships shouting thing like filthy Hun and give them a one from me and prodding children with walking sticks telling them they've never had it so good.
when they first moved there they often would sit on the very high bridge people used to jump off, trying to talk them out of jumping with some success.
there are anti jumper railings up now this was a crushing blow to my uncle who enjoyed his chats with suicidal people. he said it made him appreciate the small things in life, like air filed pile cushions and ready mixed hamster food.
this has always puzzled me as he has never suffered from hamsters or piles :scratch: though on reflection he has always liked painting and sketching and my aunt is a avid needle pointer, making pictures out of fancy stitches.
so it might have something to do with that.
 
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