the recovery

[byegad]

Sadly we met your Aunt. We didn't have long to talk as they bundled her back into the ambulance, nor could we shake hands with her, as she was back in the canvas jacket with tie down sleeves.

The nice attendant said this was the fourth time she'd escaped this year, each time shortly after a relative from Rawmarsh had promised to visit. Could this be your doing?

 

[Speicher]

It could be his un-doing.

 

[byegad]

You could be right!

 

[n-ick]

I understand "Ferreters and Lard Magazine" is being paid a large sum not to print topless pictures( taken at 3ft) of the SSG at Scarborough Lido.

 

[byegad]

However Bare Bum Weakly have threatened to publish the set of photos they have of the SBGG wearing a smile and nothing else. As there are so many of them they are going to do an A2 sized 80 page spread devoted entirely to him.

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!

BEAM ME UP!

FOR GOD'S SAKE SCOTTY GET ME OFF THIS PLANET! NOW!!!!

 

[markg0vbr]

having just won a court injunction the photographs will not appear in the press, i have my image to protect and they did not pay me for the photos.
the shoot for hunks in thongs calender was last week and the calender is available from next month, order now for one of the rare un autographed ones.

 

[byegad]

I'll publish and be damned. The hideous truth will be for all to see (And snigger at!)

 

[n-ick]

I heard that copies were to be circulated to all schools as a warning about the worse thing that could happen to you in later life.

Shame , Cosmo, buckle up,rigid upper lip and don't ask for a blindfold.

 

[byegad]

You mean something along the lines of the 'information' films shown to British troops to encourage the use of a condom? If only Mr and Mrs Cosmo had thought all those years ago...

 

[markg0vbr]

lacking a exorcise wheel for the dogs (like a hamster wheel but bigger) i have to send the minions out to walk them several times a day.
when performing this task i give them little jobs to do like getting bread or milk ect.
this is a problem as while they are out i am lacking minions for cups of tea, what happens if i need a tissue or i drop a slipper of my foot stool!
i thought i had a plan ... a rota but the minions are refusing to draw one up, so i am in-barking on a campaign of passive aggressive mind games.
in the interests of research i have been reading all the teen magazines i can lay my hands on, some for lumpy jumpers and a how to book by dr spock.

is there a stable some where i can send some of the minion to for training? the ritual floggings are so tiering and frankly my bum is getting tender.

 

[byegad]

lacking a exorcise wheel for the dogs (like a hamster wheel but bigger) i have to send the minions out to walk them several times a day.
when performing this task i give them little jobs to do like getting bread or milk ect.
this is a problem as while they are out i am lacking minions for cups of tea, what happens if i need a tissue or i drop a slipper of my foot stool!
i thought i had a plan ... a rota but the minions are refusing to draw one up, so i am in-barking on a campaign of passive aggressive mind games.
in the interests of research i have been reading all the teen magazines i can lay my hands on, some for lumpy jumpers and a how to book by dr spock.

is there a stable some where i can send some of the minion to for training? the ritual floggings are so tiering and frankly my bum is getting tender.

FTFY

 

[byegad]

Peed down all day yesterday and wet this morning too. Hopefully it'll dry up for tomorrow so I can do the Out-Laws lawn.
Après le déluge, Moi!

 

[markg0vbr]

lawn! + mini tractor + plow = vege patch.
you can rent it out for a pepper corn rent via a web-sight people who want a garden can use it. we have a lot of massive gardens at the back of council houses that are just left overgrown and a waiting lists for allotments, bit nuts really.
cant you do a flintstone and rent a Pygmy goat for a week? make sure you dont have cold hands when you are milking it though.

the cold and wet is not optimum for hobbling about with any stile or grace, can we have something like an orbital reflector focusing nice sun shine on to the uk through the winter? it would make the grass grow year around then.

 

[n-ick]

Buckle up sir and book your ride on the insanity rollercoaster.

My son on law always pockets a folding spade with him everywhere that he goes. This is in case of emergency toiletage .
Failing to plan , sir, is planning to fail.

I understand that the work assessment section of the ss on it's way to see you. Expect the front door to be broken open and offers of a situation proffered.

 

[byegad]

I expect that the SS Stormdoctors will decide he can work normally, and recommend he join the Parachute Regiment. Sadly due to cuts in the Armed Service budget he will be expected to leave the aircraft minus the usual parachute. So we could soon have conclusive proof that the SBGG was in fact a rather rusty weird Yorkshireman with a megalomania problem of gigantic proportions. Either that, or he'll live.