byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Exorcising didn't work so we shot the priest.
the recovery
- Thread starter markg0vbr
- Start date
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
You can just go around inducing hope and saying things like "become a contributing member of societyIt's all part of
the recovery
... so Well Done SBGG and hope you get back to full health soonand become a contributing member of society
, not a benefit scrounger.
Now, where did I leave those pills ...
, not a benefit scrounger. 
" it's the only growth industry we have, there are some black belt benefit adepts I have been trying to gain audience with one sensei for the past year. Story's are told of his feats of unbelievable form filling and the ability to confuse and befuddle benefit office investigators. The Denice is a legend, there is no defence for his sick note attack. Again I have been experimenting with nose typing, for when eating, driving, flying fighter aircraft or pushing wheelchairs in the shopping Centre. As every one is text walking, including while crossing the road. People can jump to impressive heights while in the little universe texting away standing in the middle of a zebra crossing as they have run out of enough brain power to text walk and chew, chewing gum at the same time. All you need is a triple set of reproduction American train horns fitting to your ride.
A though popped in to my head while brushing my teeth, should I wear a helmet or not while in the bath room as a lot more people are hurt while brushing there teeth than while riding a bike! Then a advert came on the radio to try and get people out of there cars and on to alternative transport to get to work. That's when it hit me subsidise bus fairs so they are not running around town empty all day. Fit ramps so every one can use them, allow up right clear thinking people to carry electric cattle prods to poke the rude and selfish randomly, become roving knights of justice and lard. A legion of good and grumpy defenders of the timid and slightly insane.
Bobby's on the beet don't work but retire diner lady's could cut a swath through the pavement sheep of this world waking them up and adding them to the legion.
I predict world domination in three years.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Bobbies on the beet have red teeth.
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
It's the pickled herring and cow heal sandwiches that do it and gnawing there trunnions.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
I've never seen a Constabules Trunnions.
I wonder if Speicher has?
<-<-<-Speicher, dirty girl!
I wonder if Speicher has?
<-<-<-Speicher, dirty girl!
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
Thick wooly jumpers and bed socks are the dress code tonight, as the big freeze hits.
I will attach a long pice of string to my eldest lad tonight and use it to rouse him for windscreen leaning tomorrow.
I could do with an ejector bed for him or a long sharp pointy stick.
There is some thing deeply satisfying about a sharp pointy stick, holding a sharp pointy stick gives one feeling of being some one, a cut above the rabble, A man of importance.
I need to up date my list I have neglected this for a bit, but it needs doing. It is the list of leaders and contact information, in the event of an Alain space craft landing near me I will be ready for the traditional greeting ".take me to your leader". It is always best to be ready and always have a pack of lard ready.
I will attach a long pice of string to my eldest lad tonight and use it to rouse him for windscreen leaning tomorrow.
I could do with an ejector bed for him or a long sharp pointy stick.
There is some thing deeply satisfying about a sharp pointy stick, holding a sharp pointy stick gives one feeling of being some one, a cut above the rabble, A man of importance.
I need to up date my list I have neglected this for a bit, but it needs doing. It is the list of leaders and contact information, in the event of an Alain space craft landing near me I will be ready for the traditional greeting ".take me to your leader". It is always best to be ready and always have a pack of lard ready.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
I thought nurse had banned sharp things from the SBGG a long time ago.
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
Got it !
The only way to make any sense of His posts is just to read the first and last lines.
The only way to make any sense of His posts is just to read the first and last lines.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
Well that's this then.
Quote SBGG post #1
'i had 45mins sitting on the trike peddling back words( i do not have rollers so had a cloth raped around the chain for a bit of resistance) one of the kids must have spotted i have had my bike shoes out becouse i have just thought i might go up and down the road a bit and see how i feel
er all three wheels are flat and the valves are missing 
pram, dummy, teddy bear, high velocity throw, i am now going to hold my breath until i turn blue and then scream and scream untill i am sick.
grumble mumble grumble cant do ewt sodding sat mumble grumble rotten kids spoil all my fun grumble.'
and
Quote SBGG post above.
'It is always best to be ready and always have a pack of lard ready.'
I'm not sure we're any wiser! But hope that the above really is his last sentence.
Quote SBGG post #1
'i had 45mins sitting on the trike peddling back words( i do not have rollers so had a cloth raped around the chain for a bit of resistance) one of the kids must have spotted i have had my bike shoes out becouse i have just thought i might go up and down the road a bit and see how i feel
er all three wheels are flat
and the valves are missing pram, dummy, teddy bear, high velocity throw, i am now going to hold my breath until i turn blue and then scream and scream untill i am sick.
grumble mumble grumble cant do ewt sodding sat mumble grumble rotten kids spoil all my fun grumble.'and
Quote SBGG post above.
'It is always best to be ready and always have a pack of lard ready.'
I'm not sure we're any wiser! But hope that the above really is his last sentence.
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
The joy and delight of 6 o'clock windscreen scraping, gosh it's fantastic! I did have a bit of a cheat as I had my lad put a hot water bottle on the dash when he went out to work.
There is a new job opening for some one a bit like the old knocker pure or lamp lighter going around putting hot water bottles on dash boards!
I think I my start to spend my second twenty pound note of the year soon, this will nock me of track for this years budget. I hope I don't get a letter from the Bank of England or the tribunal for prevention of fiscal fecundity, the black robed** panel have been known to take drastic steps to prevent spend thrifts.
After repeatedly fighting of plaintive whimpering by my eldest I have agreed to think about getting a new jumper, possibly from one of them swanky posh charity shops, if they do lay away plans, this may happen within the next several years or when my latest elbow patches wear out, they are made from the last of my stock of coal shoot conveyor belt off cuts my grand day bequeathed to me. A experiment using old inner tube was a dismal failure and after the dining room door handle incident was found to be down right dangerous.
When you think about it the human body is badly designed, grease nipples should be fitted to the larger of my joins and back so lard can be injected straight in to the joins every week.
*for all the allergic to work there are two of them in a day
**a bit worn and patched having been handed down for generations but perfectly usable.
There is a new job opening for some one a bit like the old knocker pure or lamp lighter going around putting hot water bottles on dash boards!
I think I my start to spend my second twenty pound note of the year soon, this will nock me of track for this years budget. I hope I don't get a letter from the Bank of England or the tribunal for prevention of fiscal fecundity, the black robed** panel have been known to take drastic steps to prevent spend thrifts.
After repeatedly fighting of plaintive whimpering by my eldest I have agreed to think about getting a new jumper, possibly from one of them swanky posh charity shops, if they do lay away plans, this may happen within the next several years or when my latest elbow patches wear out, they are made from the last of my stock of coal shoot conveyor belt off cuts my grand day bequeathed to me. A experiment using old inner tube was a dismal failure and after the dining room door handle incident was found to be down right dangerous.
When you think about it the human body is badly designed, grease nipples should be fitted to the larger of my joins and back so lard can be injected straight in to the joins every week.
*for all the allergic to work there are two of them in a day
**a bit worn and patched having been handed down for generations but perfectly usable.
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
Ice windscreen ...... Lard ..........ice .......lard mmmmmmm I may do an experiment.
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
As I was saying, not a lot of sense. Sadly my quote didn't contain his last sentence. 
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
I have found my first instance where a potato out performs lard!
At a anti frost windscreen prophylactic, this may be the beginning of the end for lard research, I will have to apply for funding.
Good news at last I have been cured* a wart has been deded a lot with prejudice! it had been a constant annoyance in the bace of my ring finger and some times would be quiet sore when pushing the chair. So it has been deded, when it drops of I will pop it in a jar and put it on eBay as a holy relic, though I am consernd some one might use it to do voodoo!
*after hanging by my ankles in a smoke filled shed for a week, was suggested but I decided to go with the removal by freezing.
At a anti frost windscreen prophylactic, this may be the beginning of the end for lard research, I will have to apply for funding.
Good news at last I have been cured* a wart has been deded a lot with prejudice! it had been a constant annoyance in the bace of my ring finger and some times would be quiet sore when pushing the chair. So it has been deded, when it drops of I will pop it in a jar and put it on eBay as a holy relic, though I am consernd some one might use it to do voodoo!
*after hanging by my ankles in a smoke filled shed for a week, was suggested but I decided to go with the removal by freezing.
n-ick
Senior Member
- Location
- Sunny Swadlincote
A suitable case for treatment.
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markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
Nerve.. To trap a nerve... Don't sound any thing, bit of Edam on a trap bang! Got you.
The bit that is really funny is when you are half way between standing and siting, that bit is hilarious, for any one with out the Edam n trap. I think it is the plaintive whimpering and air drawn in through clench-teeth mixed with the slightly bozeyed grimace.
I might give pain up for Easter a sort of penance in revers.
The bit that is really funny is when you are half way between standing and siting, that bit is hilarious, for any one with out the Edam n trap. I think it is the plaintive whimpering and air drawn in through clench-teeth mixed with the slightly bozeyed grimace.
I might give pain up for Easter a sort of penance in revers.
