the recovery

[markg0vbr]

I am no designing a wee pump to save trips upstairs.
The draft hours driven version has been discounted as the suction produced would turn the user inside out.
The design has been down sized to hamster driven with a electric prod.

 

[byegad]

Sorry to hear of our loss Mark. Hope you are bearing up as the 'Head of the Household'.

 

[classic33]

Sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[byegad]

More sad news I'm afraid.

Lancashire has declared war on Rawmarsh. The reason? They've discovered that per capita Rawmarsh uses 43 times as much lard compared to the Lancashire average!

More on the Lard War as news comes in.

 

[byegad]

Breaking News almost all of Rawmarsh has been declared neutral with regard to Lancashire's Lard War. However a hovel with a huge aerial attached is thought to be the only viable target and cruise clogs have been launched to obliterate the hovel and its denizen(s).

Precision clogging is thought to be in its infancy in the Lancashire Air Force so collateral damage could ensue. In a worst case scenario 50% of Rawmarsh could be accidently destroyed at an estimated rebuilding cost of 42p!

 

[markg0vbr]

I fear no namby pamby wishy washy foppish Lancaster inbreds.
Last week I finally reached my fighting weight it has taken me three years to gain back almost 42lbs, dragging three car tyres behind the wheelchair was the thing that put me over the top.

 

[byegad]

Intercept from LAF control.


Locked on transmission Clog Him!

 

[markg0vbr]

I am in mexborough

 

[byegad]

Too late that went off in June 2010!

Hang on I've just had a terrible thought. Have the Lancastrians invented Time Travel? Last time I was there it seemed like 1953, so maybe they have/had/willen haven had.

 

[markg0vbr]

I have been going through paper work and photographs and came across my mums complaint letters* to the council, mobile phone operators, utility's company's and bizarrely harrods!

They are very amusing " being a shower of burocrats who still wet behind the ears have no idea what is involved with looking after my husband should keep lips tight shut on the matter" this one went on for some time in this vain and was regarding Doncaster council "care service"** wanting to make my dads last call to put him to bed at 9pm.
If something niggled her it would not be dropped, letters phone calls and personal appearances*** all helped.
When we herd " ok we will see about this" in that tone of voice it was time to baton down the hatches


*being In charge of her facultys and having time on her hands she loved a good argument, if it was one sided all the better.
** the derision and loathing in her voice, when the name of this servic was used was a thing af beauty and could only be delivered by a third dan sarcastion.
*** much to the horror of a number of managers and department heads we had a van with a ramp mum sat on a cushion to drive it being 4ft 11

 

[markg0vbr]

Packing boxes as the council are kicking us out so it will be back to my house soon.

I think peeing in a bottle then dumping it through the council letter box once a week might give them some idea of what I think of them.
35years we have lived in the bungalow but as the tenancy is in my mums name and I own a house, out we must go.
This January makes 4 years I have not been able to use half my house the lads could have sold all the wallpaper and carpets for all I know.
I will get one of them drone things to fly up and see what they have been up to.

 

[byegad]

All this dodging about between houses at Xmas may be designed to confuse the Lancastrians in their Lard War but, like Saddam, the end result will be finding the SBGG in one hole and putting him, minus breath in another!

 

[markg0vbr]

Still packing baaaaaaaaa humbug

 

[markg0vbr]

I hate carol singers may they all become covered in weeping boils, coming knocking ont door being all "cheerful" it makes my blood run cold when I see them Christmas jumper clad creations.
Back to boxing and humping grumble grumble.

 

[markg0vbr]

To day we hav done as much as we can until we get the keys tomorrow.
Well I say we a lot of the time I have to supervise from my recliner so I can see the big picture.

If I can get the lazy lot out of bed before 7:30* half a day they waist laying about sleeping, I could leave a list of instructions on the table for them to follow while I am hammock testing and they started my foot massage half a hour late.
Grumble grumble only three chocolate digestives with my second breakfast tea brake.





*best part of the day 4am up with the bats deep breathing and stretching.