The Retirement Thread

[ebikeerwidnes]

My granddaughter & I are putting the basics together for when we become Prime Minister (yes, both of us)
As expected, we'll be banning people from walking aimlessly along pavements and phone-zombies.
She has the idea of a spring loaded device on cars to launch an egg at drivers who annoy her.
My pledge is to deport or excommunicate anyone who doesn't put the triangular divider thingie on the conveyor belt after they've put their shopping on it.

Our manifesto is gaining strength from day to day.. 👍

Does the supermarket thing include smart gits who figure out how to put a divider on the conveyor so the light beam passes right through it and doesn;t detect it??

A shop where I used to live had metal ones like that - if you positioned it the right way up and exactly at 90 degrees to the beam then it went right under the main part

which caused lots of amusing confusion

 

[Dave7]

My granddaughter & I are putting the basics together for when we become Prime Minister (yes, both of us)
As expected, we'll be banning people from walking aimlessly along pavements and phone-zombies.
She has the idea of a spring loaded device on cars to launch an egg at drivers who annoy her.
My pledge is to deport or excommunicate anyone who doesn't put the triangular divider thingie on the conveyor belt after they've put their shopping on it.

Our manifesto is gaining strength from day to day.. 👍

Are you open to suggestions ?
Obviously we will be your minions but between us we should have some decent ideas.

 

[Dave7]

I've cut the grass, potted up some Dahlias and washed the dog. She was a bit smelly. She now smells of orange and camomile.

Did you double check that you haven't potted the dog and washed the dahlias ?

 

[PeteXXX]

Are you open to suggestions ?
Obviously we will be your minions but between us we should have some decent ideas.

We certainly are! Potentially you could be offered a position in our yet to be thought of cabinet!

 

[Dave7]

We certainly are! Potentially you could be offered a position in our yet to be thought of cabinet!

Just so we have some idea where to pitch our thoughts.....what sort of age range is your daughter?
You are not likely to get intelligent suggestions here but we need guide lines.

 

[PeteXXX]

Just so we have some idea where to pitch our thoughts.....what sort of age range is your ×daughter?
You are not likely to get intelligent suggestions here but we need guide lines.

*granddaughter.. 17

 

[Dave7]

@PeteXXX my 1st offering.
People at 'all you can eat'/carveries who totally overload thier plates to the points they have no chance of eating it all.
They should be force fed the remains then publicly flogged.

 

[Dave7]

*granddaughter.. 17

Ahh sorry.
My granddaughter is 21.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

@PeteXXX my 1st offering.
People at 'all you can eat'/carveries who totally overload thier plates to the points they have no chance of eating it all.
They should be force fed the remains then publicly flogged.

I have never had that problem

The not being able to eat it bit I mean
I am pretty good at the piling it high part

to the point where my wife has on occasion claimed that I will never get that back to the table
but I do!!

The trick - I believe - is to avoid the yorkshire puddings
they take up too much room which can be used to extra veg

 

[classic33]

@PeteXXX my 1st offering.
People at 'all you can eat'/carveries who totally overload thier plates to the points they have no chance of eating it all.
They should be force fed the remains then publicly flogged.

For that offence you get to spend a day in the stocks. With whatever you leave on your plate being thrown at you.

 

[welsh dragon]

Mr WD has washed my car she is all sparkly clean now.

 

[Mo1959]

I just watched a crap film on Netflix called Havoc. I normally don’t mind shoot em ups, but that’s basically all the whole film was. Far fetched guff, yet I persevered to the end.

 

[welsh dragon]

I just watched a crap film on Netflix called Havoc. I normally don’t mind shoot em ups, but that’s basically all the whole film was. Far fetched guff, yet I persevered to the end.

You are such a suckered

 

[classic33]

You are such a suckered

She'll top her viewing off with a pre-recorded insurance advert AND a PPB.