The Retirement Thread

[Drago]

I'll take a photo of my garage tomorrow. I need to get the carcoon out and slip the Volvo into hibernation so that'll be a good opportunity to show how I've managed to organise it in 2 years.

 

[classic33]

Morning. No point in getting up too early in this weather. More wet and windy stuff to come. I‘m not sure what it will be like for a walk as it will be pretty waterlogged and no doubt a fair bit of debris.

I know where you can get a pair of flippers for next to nowt.

 

[Dave7]

What's ET short for?

This is my favourite joke of all time. The punchline will follow later.

Don't forget the..... .........
How do you fit 5 elephants in a mini car?


2 in the front and 3 in the back.

 

[Dave7]

I know where you can get a pair of flippers for next to nowt.

When I started my Scuba Diving training the instructor told us...... there are 2 important things to remember.......

1. "They are not goggles, they are masks.
2. They are not flippers, they are fins.

Here endeth the lesson

 

[Mo1959]

Riverside trail walked. What a mess. The single track road at the start that just goes to a few houses was so littered with debris it resembled a forest trail rather than a road. Further on I had to do a limbo through the branches of a tree that was down. It's a popular loop for walkers, runners and cyclists but it wouldn't be much fun attempting to run or cycle on it just now.

The wind is starting to pick up again.

 

[Tenkaykev]

Good morning from a gloriously sunny Dorset. The wind is moderate so maybe we've missed the worst of the storm. Had an email from Octopus to say it's free leccy between 12:00 and 14:00 today. Bedding will be washed and tumble dried, immersion heater will be put on as will the dishwasher.
Loft insulated with my last effort this morning, I have left clear passage to the Christmas tree and decorations plus the raft of old suitcases we seem to have accumulated 🤔

 

[PeteXXX]

Bit concerned about the trampoline in my garden....
It wasn't there yesterday!

 

[BoldonLad]

Bonjour. I couldn't get to sleep last night so I was reminiscing about the past in my head and was thinking that , when I was 15, Mrs G was 20 and already had two kids. She had never heard of Orleans and didn't know where it was and I had never heard of Yorkshire ( where she was brought up). She couldn't speak a word of French and I was useless at learning English at school.
Yet, fate brought us together 21 years later. Who would have thought?

The ways in which people meet are often intriguingly random, and, then, somehow, it works 😂

 

[Mo1959]

I need another cuppa so poor Molly will have to be dislodged from my lap.

 

[Mike Ayling]

Don't forget the..... .........
How do you fit 5 elephants in a mini car?


2 in the front and 3 in the back.

and the trunks in the boot!

 

[PaulSB]

The ways in which people meet are often intriguingly random, and, then, somehow, it works 😂

OK. I'll go first. I'll take you back to York, 1978, your correspondent, 24, is standing in the kitchen at a party. Yes, really!! I say standing, he was leaning against the fridge probably in an effort to stay vertical.

Quite unexpectedly a lovely young woman walks over and starts talking to him. This just doesn't happen. I can't recall the conversation but saw her home.

I lived on Bootham and said I'd be in The Minster at 12.00........we were always in The Minster at 12.00 on a Sunday. To my astonishment around 12.30 she walked in with a friend........and the rest is 47 years of history.

I should mention The Minster was a fantastic, proper backstreet pub about 500 yards from my flat and not a beautiful 627 year old religious building.

I later learned Mrs P was trying to get away from the bloke who was chatting her up!! 🤣🤣🤣

 

[Dave7]

The ways in which people meet are often intriguingly random, and, then, somehow, it works 😂

Indeed.
When i was 18 I was really in love with a girl that lived 20 miles away.......in the days before we had cars.
Out of the blue she ditched me but afterwards got her friend to write to me.
That friend was Sue.
The girl married 'that' guy but it didn't last.
Sue and I were an item for good 57 years.

 

[Dave7]

An interesting fact for you.
Scientist have wondered why they never see dead penguins at the antarctic.
The now know that, when a penguin dies the others dig a hole then push thier dead friend into it and cover it up.
They then gather around and......
Sing "freeze a jolly good fellow".

 

[numbnuts]

just spent an hour filling in on line my housing benefit form, they wanted to know everything and they already have this information
as they have my NI number, by using that they could have found out what I get with state pension and injury benefits, but no they wanted every thing scanned, good job I had a scanner and then all my banking details including account numbers !!!
God I hate being poor, I'll be very surprised if they don't ask for more proof or what I have submitted is not enough or wrong.

 

[welsh dragon]

I have started a fire, in the wood burner classic not just anywhere