The Retirement Thread

[numbnuts]

I got woken up to this -

The mods team have noticed your signature, it's a bit political in our opinion.

 

[Mo1959]

I got woken up to this -

It'll be the usual suspect sticking you in. I have my suspicions but that's all I will say.

 

[welsh dragon]

It'll be the usual suspect sticking you in. I have my suspicions but that's all I will say.

I can't imagine who that could be

 

[welsh dragon]

I got woken up to this -

The phantom reporter strikes again

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

It'll be the usual suspect sticking you in. I have my suspicions but that's all I will say.

Well it's not me!!
I got a post deleted apparently - no idea why as I don;t remember half the rubbish I post on here!!

 

[PaulSB]

Well it's not me!!
I got a post deleted apparently - no idea why as I don;t remember half the rubbish I post on here!!

........and we don't remember the other half........🤣🤣

 

[PeteXXX]

I got woken up to this -

What did it say & we'll be the judge of inappropriateability.. 👍

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

........and we don't remember the other half........🤣🤣

Well I'm shocked!!!

 

[PaulSB]

How's it going Paul?? I hear you ask......

• M66 closed. Cue chaos on M65 🤬
• Took car to garage for service. "Sorry I'm late" - "you are. You were booked in yesterday" 🤬
• Placed porridge in microwave. Distracted by small person. Microwave needs cleaning 🤬
• Knocked over Moka pot on stove - full, of course 🤬

Anyone familiar with the FML acronym 🤣 Could I come and live with one of you? You could look after me. Maybe apply bubble wrap?

We've used the same local garage for 30+ years. They were OK and will sort it.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

How's it going Paul?? I hear you ask......

• M66 closed. Cue chaos on M65 🤬
• Took car to garage for service. "Sorry I'm late" - "you are. You were booked in yesterday" 🤬
• Placed porridge in microwave. Distracted by small person. Microwave needs cleaning 🤬
• Knocked over Moka pot on stove - full, of course 🤬

Anyone familiar with the FML acronym 🤣 Could I come and live with one of you? You could look after me. Maybe apply bubble wrap?

We've used the same local garage for 30+ years. They were OK and will sort it.

We should definitely never live together

I am "easily distracted" and forget what I was doing easily
and I have a sort of twitch where my hand will sometime just move slightly away from where I thought it was - often quite fast
Plus when I get distracted I turn away from my hands and can;t see where they are exactly


I think my wife has realised that I will always just break things from time to time - I thought it was normal but looking around I see people with breakable things that are many years old which is strange to me!!!

SO - basically - if we lived together we would make the disaster at Chernobyl look like a minor inconvenience!!!

 

[PeteXXX]

Microwaves have had a hard life in our family...

I thought that a microwave meringue would be fun thing to do.. Used too many egg whites and had to cut the darn thing out with a bread knife 🗡️

Daughter, when a lot younger, decided to warm up a croissant but got confused with the timer. Who would guess that 10 minutes (instead of 10 seconds) was too long and it would ignite & kill the microwave.. 🔥

 

[Dave7]

The phantom reporter strikes again

I have got a lifetime ban from posting on the jokes section.
I told a joke about a guy released from prison.
Absolutely none racist
None sexist
Nothing.
A person reported it as he thought it might offend anyone who knew anyone who had been in prison.
I asked the mod' if they had actually read the joke and if so what could offend anyone. I never got a reply of any sort.

 

[PaulSB]

Well all cleaned up. Mrs P is asleep. Small person is asleep and I think Granddad might nod off. The transfer of photos from Google Drive to OneDrive appears to have gone well. The upload from Mrs P's phone continues. It started at 05.24, nearly 7 hours ago........we have 3982 photos still waiting to upload. I'm not sure if this includes video.

My boys are at home tonight......in theory.......Saturday's game was abandoned due to a flooded pitch. It's rained all Saturday night, part of Sunday, dry yesterday and heavy since midnight. Forecast is heavy rain till 14.00 and then light rain. I don't think we'll kick off, let alone finish. Disappointed there's been no announcement so far.

 

[Drago]

Ironing done. Contemplating lunch.

 

[Drago]

I have got a lifetime ban from posting on the jokes section.
I told a joke about a guy released from prison.
Absolutely none racist
None sexist
Nothing.
A person reported it as he thought it might offend anyone who knew anyone who had been in prison.
I asked the mod' if they had actually read the joke and if so what could offend anyone. I never got a reply of any sort.

Im so well behaved the mods send me a book token every Christmas