The short lead in to President Trump

[Drago]

He's not fat, he's Presidentially upholstered. And His Donaldness isn't ugly - his visage is lived in and worldly wise.

 

[dim]

One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
...

The Marine looks at the man and says,

“Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The old man says,

“Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine again tells the man,

“Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The man thanks him and again walks away.

On the third day, the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says,

“Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says,

“Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says,

“See you tomorrow, Sir!”

 

[Drago]

Brilliant!

 

[Bollo]

US flag changed to orange, purple and white to match Trump’s face
21-01-17


View attachment 334263

THE stars-and-stripes is switching colour scheme to orange, purple and white to match President Trump’s facial colouring.

The red stripes will be replaced by a shade called atomic tangerine, the white stripes slightly altered to be the pallid, unhealthy colour of a 70-year-old’s wrinkled eyes, and the stars set in a field of thistle purple.


Ivanka Trump, the president’s official handler and pharmacist, said: “The old design was fine for presidents who didn’t have their own real estate, clothing and lifestyle brands, but that’s not Trump.

“We wanted something that said luxury, that said exclusive, that would encourage other nations to aspire to the standard we set, and what better than my father’s varicoloured face?

“Now, whenever anyone swears allegiance to the flag they also swear allegiance to Trump, Trump Hotels, Trump Golf, Trump Casinos, the Success by Trump fragrance and Trump Model Management.”

Ivanka added: “We considered gold and inlaid Italian marble obviously, but we’re reserving those for our makeover of the military.”

Daily Mash?. Best to give them credit, although I preferred the story about the s***-flinging gibbon to be crowned emperor.

 

[craigwend]

Daily Mash?. Best to give them credit, although I preferred the story about the s***-flinging gibbon to be crowned emperor.

Done - normally do - uctnig & psate rusihing ....

 

[TVC]

Donny reckons there were over a million people at his inauguration.

 

[Drago]

A million and one. God counts as a person.

 

[fossyant]

Well we are all still posting, the idiot hasn't pressed the button yet ! Better get some miles in.

 

[TVC]

He has gone to kiss butt at the CIA to avoid 500,000 slightly miffed women outside his front door

 

[Drago]

The Women are starting to drift away and head for home.

And he's still President.

 

[fossyant]

Well got to give it to the Simpsons.... can we re-generate a Lisa to fix this in 4 years !

 

[TVC]

The Women are starting to drift away and head for home.

And he's still President.

They made him get out of town though.

 

[Drago]

So they're protesting against someone who's not there.

And he's still President.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The Women are starting to drift away and head for home.

And he's still President.

They've got teas to cook.

 

[TVC]

So they're protesting against someone who's not there.

And he's still President.

We all know he's not all there.