The TV cucumber game

[Tribansman]

Thyme Team
Unearthing thought-to-be-lost varieties of the delicious herb.

The Chive Factor
As above

Tarragon with the wind
As above

The Bay Leaf
As above

Masterchervil
As above

Challenge Angelica
As above

Coriander Street
As above

The Dill
As above

Eldoregano
As above, but set in Spain

Borage
As above, but set in Kazakhstan

Home and Caraway
As above, but set in Australia

 

[Jenkins]

Blue Peter becomes Blue Movie and promptly gets moved to the new TV channel CBoobies

 

[Drago]

World of Spurt.

Hard hitting documentary about the porn industry.



Naked Subtraction.

Comedy show about a company of nudist accountants.



Bless This Mouse.

A priest spends his days converting rodents to christianity.



Where the Fart Is.

Documentary about flatulence in Yorkshire.



Glove Thy Neighbour.

In each episode a contestant must slap their neighbour with a duelling gauntlet and challenge them to mortal combat fornthe sake of restoring hornour.



Sore Patrol.

On patrol with the haemorrhoid squad of Thames Valley Police.




Londons Gurning.

Undercover documentary about smiling people in Twickenham.




Stinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

Alec Guinness farts in the Russian Embassy.




South Parp.

Sequel to Stinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.




The Fart Show.

Sequel to South Parp.



Mock the Freak.

A panel of comedians take the pith put of Michael Fabricant.

 

[lane]

Supermarket Creep contestants have to walk around a supermarket without making as sound

 

[lane]

Are you being perved. Investigation into online browsing habits.

 

[lane]

New Dicks. A discussion with people who have recently changed thier name to Richard.

 

[slowmotion]

Have I Got Shoes For You. A celebrity presenter interviews people about their footwear. Episode One will be introduced by the lovely Melania Trump. Two by Imelda Marcos.

 

[flake99please]

The Great British Bake Off to be replaced with The Great British Bike Off.

Invite a few competent cycling infrastructure planners to design plans for various towns/cities within the UK. Members of various cycling groups could vote on best option for each plan. Added bonus of not needing Paul Hollywood for making any kind of appearance.

 

[Salad Dodger]

Pongs of praise
Aled Jones visits the smelliest places in UK, so you don't have to.

 

[Salad Dodger]

Doctor Poo
About a time travelling gastroenterologist.

 

[Salad Dodger]

Emma Dale
A series about Mrs Dale and her daughter Emma

 

[Salad Dodger]

Ski Sundae
Contestants whip up a cold dessert whilst hurtling down a mountainside.

 

[stephec]

Top Sneer

All the people responsible for crappy reality TV are made to sit and listen whilst they are told what a big sack of shite they are making.

 

[Salad Dodger]

Downtown Abbey
Documentary series where planners and ecclesiastical officials argue about the location of a new large place of worship

 

[stephec]

Joe 20/20, a sequel to Joe 90 where his eyesight's improved so much that he doesn't need his glasses anymore.

Thunderturds, actually no I'd probably best leave that one. 😄