Things you have never learned how to do.

[DaveReading]

I can't click my fingers.

 

[MichaelW2]

Score a goal in football.

 

[Cavalol]

Play a musical instrument.

 

[Dogtrousers]

That is like the anecdote about the film Terminator. When doing the German version they were trying to find a voice actor to do the Terminator's part. Arnie heard about it and made the obvious comment that as an Austrian he was obviously a native German speaker only to be told "No! You sound like a farmer"

Ooo aaarrr. Oi'll be baaack.

With a flagon of zuyderrr.

 

[Andy in Germany]

That is like the anecdote about the film Terminator. When doing the German version they were trying to find a voice actor to do the Terminator's part. Arnie heard about it and made the obvious comment that as an Austrian he was obviously a native German speaker only to be told "No! You sound like a farmer"

This makes sense: German has as many accents and many more dialects than British English, and if you know what to listen to, you can tell fairly accurately where someone comes from. The variations can be quite local. I know a Stuttgarter can tell someone from Reutlingen, which is about 20km to the south, and when I lived in Bavaria, the people in the next village had a very different dialect. Austrian German sounds very different again and quite rustic to anyone north of say, Munich.

 

[Dave7]

Play a musical instrument.

Me also. I even had guitar lessons but eventually had to admit to being tone deaf.
I messed around with a mouth organ aged 14 and learned to play "under the Sein with me" but that was it.

 

[Gwylan]

It is so reassuring, even at my age, to realise I am not the only imperfect failure out there.

 

[Drago]

Fart without following through.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Score a goal in football.

Same here. I had that problem in many sports. At high school, we were all supposed to score t least one basket at the end of the basketball lesson, then go and get changed. Score a basket? I'm 168cm / 5'3" now, and that's on a good day. You may as well have told me to hit the moon. However, I quickly realised that with ca 45 boys all aiming at the basket at the same time, the teacher wasn't going to be able to tell if I'd scored, so I lobbed a ball in the general direction a couple of times, then grabbed the nearest descending ball, and got out of there.
To my lasting pride, I never scored once in the entire term.
Of course then winter came and Rugby, which again, isn't much fun if you're well below average height. I was told it'd be fine because they needed small players in the scrum, giving sports lessons an extra nightmarish dimension until they announced that you couldn't be in the scrum without spiked shoes, and do you know, I somehow forgot mine every week after that, for the entire winter. I also worked out that if you could only be tackled if you have the ball, then, the best way to avoid landing in the mud was to be well away from said ball...
I sure learned some useful life lessons through school sports, just not what I was supposed to be learning...

 

[stephec]

Make a fart noise by cupping my hand in my armpit and vigorously flapping my arm.

 

[NorthernSky]

Make a fart noise by cupping my hand in my armpit and vigorously flapping my arm.

now this i can do!
i would rather be able to do the aforementioned two finger loud whistle though, probably more use for getting someones attention

 

[stephec]

now this i can do!
i would rather be able to do the aforementioned two finger loud whistle though, probably more use for getting someones attention

There's no need to boast. 😂

 

[tyred]

I never could whistle, swim or play a musical instrument.

I've always been hopeless at small talk or making conversation.

I can actually dance!

 

[tyred]

I also have never been able to do things like track stands or ride no hands.

 

[classic33]

I also have never been able to do things like track stands or ride no hands.

The no hands riding is easy enough on two wheels, but I can't trackstand or pull a wheelie(Can't see the point really).
I've used a unicycle for the shorter commute, with no problems.