Things you should never say to a cyclist.

[Cycleops]

Prompted by an article I was reading on Google.
Here are a couple to start you off:

Is all that lycra really necessary?

I could buy a car for the price of that.

Perhaps you could give some personal examples.
Some smart responses might be interesting too.

 

[Venod]

Why do you need (insert any number > 1) bikes

 

[PeteXXX]

Chain's slack

 

[alicat]

Why do you bother with that hard saddle? Did you know you can get nice comfy gel saddles?

 

[byegad]

You rode how far?

 

[screenman]

You should pay road tax.

 

[numbnuts]

"you must be poor"

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Why do you commute by bicycle in <insert biblical weather description here> ?

 

[steveindenmark]

Wheres your helmet?

 

[biggs682]

You also have to obey road traffic laws

 

[sleuthey]

What gives you the right to hold up traffic?

Why are you wearing shorts in this weather?

Why aren’t you using the cycle lane over there?

Why do you cycle that wide from the kerb?

Do you ever clean your bike?

Why do you have a black mark on your calf?

Why do you need a car as well?

Why are your cheeks red?

Why are you fiddling with it again?

Wouldn’t it be safer to pay someone to change the brakes for you?

Why is your saddle so high it looks silly?

Do you have other uses for your Balaclava on the weekends?

It’s not fair, why can’t I be as thin as you?

Why are you wearing tap dancing shoes?

 

[Cycleops]

Where's your car?

Aren't you supposed to be wearing a helmet?

Why do you people always hold up the traffic?

 

[Levo-Lon]

A speeding motorist hits 2 cyclists riding 2 a brest..
One goes through the windscreen and the other gets thrown into a field..

Driver complains bitterly to the copper that these two cyclist were out of order and blocking his way...

No problem Sir we'll do that one for breaking and entry and the other for leaving the scene...

 

[sheddy]

Moton Bullshit Bingo ?

 

[DCLane]

Why's your saddle like a razor blade? (I ride a 128mm one)

Haven't you grown up enough to drive a car yet?

Do you wear underwear under those shorts?

Why do you shave your legs?

And many, many more