Things you'd like to say, but can't

[NorthernDave]

Having arrived an hour before the TdY was due to pass by to bag a good spot to take some photos from, I'd like to thank the couple who arrived 5 minutes before the race and proceeded to look at me and my camera and then stand in a carefully cultivated flower bed directly in front of me, even though they knew they were blocking my view.
Thanks also for then ringing your entire family to come and join you standing in said flower bed, in front of me, ensuring that my view was really blocked.
To the younger family member who joined you with the decent DSLR camera I'd say that you presumably like a bit of photography owning a camera like that, so you might acknowledge that it's just a tiny bit rude to arrive just in time for the fun and then stand in a flower bed, directly in front of a fellow photographer, blocking their view.
But of course I bit my tongue and said nothing as it would have only kicked off

 

[marknotgeorge]

So you stop me from analysing the suspicious nominal codes to stick the figures in the accounts production package, and then send me away again to print of a 17 page set of draft accounts instead of the 2 page trial balance that shows exactly the same information, only to send me away to analyse why the director's loan is a 6 figure debit balance, and I'm the one whose inefficient work has blown the budget for the job?

 

[Smithbat]

You have had 4 days off because you split up with your boyfriend, get over yourself, woman up and ffs quit the crappy attitude. You are here to assist me, not make my life more difficult so please, do the bloody PL input like I asked you and stop playing candy crush!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

No, I don't want to meet up with you, but I know I will have to sooner or later.

Yes, I feel bad about saying that, you told me once that I was your only friend, which is tragic in itself, but purleeze, stop talking constantly about trains in a very loud voice where ever we go, it is very embarrasing, and I now know why you have no friends.

Now, don't get me wrong, you are young, you have potential, but you need to snap out of this and act like a NORMAL person, you aren't even autistic (as I first assumed), so you don't have an excuse.

I know you were an only child, so never had anyone to tell you to shut up, I know you are nervous so you laugh after just about everything you say, but... Jeez, you will be hard work getting 'right'.

I care about you, but you don't half get my 'twat hackles' up some times!

 

[pplpilot]

OH WILL YOU LOT PUH-LEASE! STOP GOING ON ABOUT THE BLOODY FOOTBALL!!! not everyone in the office has suddenly become football fans let alone Leicester supporters. Give it a rest or sod off down to the canteen.

 

[Lullabelle]

OH WILL YOU LOT PUH-LEASE! STOP GOING ON ABOUT THE BLOODY FOOTBALL!!! not everyone in the office has suddenly become football fans let alone Leicester supporters. Give it a rest or sod off down to the canteen.

I would love to say that

 

[Lullabelle]

Yes, ok I will box up those files and put them in the room which as you well know is full so that when it comes to the annual clear out I will just have to take all those boxes back out again, no not at all a waste of time.

 

[Smithbat]

Look, it is not difficult, I have given you idiot proof instructions on how to post to the ledger correctly. Please just once can you stop thinking you know it all and just do it the way I showed you? That way, next month I will not spend 5 hours correcting your postings.

Life was so much easier before they promoted me!

 

[ColinJ]

I would like to say that I realised all along that I could use the spacebar to scroll my Opera browser window down, and Shift-spacebar to scroll up. Unfortunately, it took me over 10 years to discover it (a few seconds ago)!

I would also like to say that my enjoyment of this wonder feature was curtailed by me wondering why it had stopped working while I was typing this post. A post which ended up with hundreds of redundant spaces in it, which I have just finished deleting ...

 

[Scoosh]

Works on Chrome too ...

 

[srw]

Works on Chrome too ...

So it does. Good grief. I never knew that.

 

[BrumJim]

If you are going to spout racist crap about the new London Mayor in the office very loudly, please don't expect me to respect anything else you have to say all day.

 

[Scoosh]

So it does. Good grief. I never knew that.

Neither did I until I wondered … and tried.

 

[Lullabelle]

If you can't use correct grammer, what chance do your kids have?

 

[alicat]

If you can't spell correctly, what chance do your kids have? [Sorry couldn't resist.]