Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Nigel-YZ1]

I wonder if I could make a living selling crappy porn stories on Amazon?

 

[perplexed]

How does @Nigel-YZ1 know they sell crappy porn stories on Amazon...

 

[Lullabelle]

So, on Friday you stood on some broken glass and got some stuck in your foot and spent the weekend in agony because you couldn't get it out, eventually digging around with a needle and getting it out. You say you didn't want to go to the walk-in centre to get help because you would have felt like a d**k, is that because if they had asked how it happened you didn't want to be honest and say that your son broke a glass and you were too drunk to clear it up properly. You are the mother of 2 young kids, how can you look out for them when you get horrendously drunk?

 

[Saluki]

You are really starting to irritate me. The world is not all about you actually. I am seriously considering blocking you on my phone and forgetting that you exist. I don't have time for this crap.

 

[ColinJ]

I'm amazed that you could see well enough to park the front of your car only 1 inch from the back of the car in front when you were not wearing your glasses. What the huge sign in the back window of that car has printed on it is:

"PLEASE do not park too close to the back of my car - I need to be able to get a wheelchair in and out!"

 

[srw]

I didn't waste the entire weekend feeling miserable because I thought I'd completely fluffed my job interview last Friday.

And it hasn't taken 7 more weeks, three more interviews, an assessment centre and several conversations to get to the point where I should be about to get a job offer.

 

[NorthernDave]

For flips sake will you get the flipping flip out of my flipping way.

 

[Profpointy]

How does @Nigel-YZ1 know they sell crappy porn stories on Amazon...

and more specifically, how does he know they are crappy?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

How does @Nigel-YZ1 know they sell crappy porn stories on Amazon...

Cos the woman I'm on about emails all her 'conquests' periodically and includes links to them. She says I may even be in one of them...
Trust me - that story won't be a best seller!!

 

[Speicher]

If you phone me and start the conversation with a complete lie, and then go on to say, "I know you will agree with me about...." you can expect trouble.

If you expect me to agree to something that I am not prepared to agree with, the conversation will get heated.

If you then tell me that that your decision will contradict the advice given to you by experts, you now know that I will get very angry, and tell you exactly what I think. It is your decision, and the outcome is your responsibility.

Furthermore, if you have already told one person, or two people, or more that I have agreed with your decision, you will find yourself up sh1t creek without a paddle, and I will not, under any circumstances rescue you again, again.

 

[Lullabelle]

I didn't ask how he was because he doesn't know when to shut the f*** up and I had no interest in wasting 15 minutes of my day listening to him drone on and on, a blow by blow account of his dull and boring day.

 

[jongooligan]

And it hasn't taken 7 more weeks, three more interviews, an assessment centre and several conversations to get to the point where I should be about to get a job offer.

Civil Service? We have a contractor here who was offered a job at DWP in early February. He's still here as their HR dept don't seem to know how to deal with new starters.

 

[NorthernDave]

You get this bus every day and every day you wait until you're on board to start looking for the money for your ticket and then start coppering up.
Every blooming day.
Sort yourself out, or get the ticket app on that bloody phone you don't seem able to put down.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Why when I ask for a price am only I told "You haven't ordered that before"?
I know that, so where's the price? Or am I not allowed to order it?

I'm only spending a million farking quid a year with you, why bother going to any effort on my part?

 

[NorthernDave]

You get this bus every day and every day you wait until you're on board to start looking for the money for your ticket and then start coppering up.
Every blooming day.
Sort yourself out, or get the ticket app on that bloody phone you don't seem able to put down.

Hello, again...