Things you'd like to say, but can't
- Thread starter Stig-OT-Dump
- Start date
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XmisterIS
Purveyor of fine nonsense
Oh my ... oh hell ... oh I mean it's just so ... I mean would you believe it? I can't believe it! It makes me feel so ... so bloody buggery ... oh by God and by Christ ... my word, just you mark my word! My goodness me, what a flippin' ... good grief! I'm going to give you the telling off of your life, you ... oh flippin' buggeration! I've had just about as much of it as I can take! God dammit!
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
No, honestly, when my response to your question "How are your folks?" is "Actually, my dad died last year and my mum is still grieving", I'd really prefer your next question not to be "So, does your dad still enjoy driving?"!
My reply "No, he's still too dead to drive!" was fairly restrained, I thought.
PS I didn't say the first thing, but I did say the second.
My reply "No, he's still too dead to drive!" was fairly restrained, I thought.
PS I didn't say the first thing, but I did say the second.
Hang on, because you know somehwere down the back of the bag are several vouchers you've been keeping for just this very moment, which will take a few more minutes to find and a few minutes more for the cashier to check and hand back because "they're out of date and you didn't buy any 'Doggo' biscuits".
So without the vouchers you then realise you don't have enough money by at least 2p to pay for the bill. So you umm and aaahh for ages at what to take out of the packed bag, and the thing you want to put back is there.. right at the bottom of the bag.
cookiemonster
Squire
- Location
- Hong Kong
If you can afford to spend about £50 per week on Tesco Finest food, then you can spend just £1.25 on shower gel (buy one get one free just now) instead of causing the entire store to smell like an uncleaned public toilet. It's not rocket science.
I will NOT start a petrol pump while you are waving the bloody thing around trying to get my attention to start the pump up. I know you are there, I see you, I hear the beeping on the fuel till but put the end of the pump into the fuel tank THEN and ONLY THEN will I start the pump.
If you wish to commit suicide, please feel free to do it somewhere else NOT by walking through the forecourt, in between 8 fuel pumps which are in the process of filling cars WHILE SMOKING!!! You can kill yourself if you want but not by taking most of King Street with you as well you dozy f***wit!!! And DO NOT tell me to eff off when I point this out to you as I will not just drag you off the forecourt next time, I WILL SCRAPE YOUR UGLY MUG OFF THE PAVEMENT FOR HALF HOUR FIRST!!!!
When you come into the shop, please make sure you have enough money to pay for the shopping. Trust me, I have better things to do rather than wait for you to decide what you don't want because you forgotten to take all your money/bank card with you.
DO NOT buy a 17p choccie bar and hit me with a £20 note. F*** F*** F*** OFF!!! Next time, I will give you change in 5 pences.
It would be nice if you would take OFF your headphones so you can hear me say 'next please' Also, when you get to the till, SWITCH OFF THE F***ING MOBILE .
When you are paying for stuff, DO NOT hand me a load of 1 and 2 pences. We are a very busy store, I haven't the time to count your friggin' piggy bank.
I feel so much better now.
I will NOT start a petrol pump while you are waving the bloody thing around trying to get my attention to start the pump up. I know you are there, I see you, I hear the beeping on the fuel till but put the end of the pump into the fuel tank THEN and ONLY THEN will I start the pump.
If you wish to commit suicide, please feel free to do it somewhere else NOT by walking through the forecourt, in between 8 fuel pumps which are in the process of filling cars WHILE SMOKING!!! You can kill yourself if you want but not by taking most of King Street with you as well you dozy f***wit!!! And DO NOT tell me to eff off when I point this out to you as I will not just drag you off the forecourt next time, I WILL SCRAPE YOUR UGLY MUG OFF THE PAVEMENT FOR HALF HOUR FIRST!!!!
When you come into the shop, please make sure you have enough money to pay for the shopping. Trust me, I have better things to do rather than wait for you to decide what you don't want because you forgotten to take all your money/bank card with you.
DO NOT buy a 17p choccie bar and hit me with a £20 note. F*** F*** F*** OFF!!! Next time, I will give you change in 5 pences.
It would be nice if you would take OFF your headphones so you can hear me say 'next please' Also, when you get to the till, SWITCH OFF THE F***ING MOBILE .
When you are paying for stuff, DO NOT hand me a load of 1 and 2 pences. We are a very busy store, I haven't the time to count your friggin' piggy bank.
I feel so much better now.
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
If you are the only one working in the call centre on Tuesday afternoon, after keeping me on hold for 15 minutes, do NOT press the button that transmits the phrase, "All our operators are busy. please try again later.........."
Spinney
Bimbleur extraordinaire
- Location
- Back up north
Dad died, phoned up bank to report this and ask what was next. Indian call centre. Explain Dad died.
"I'm sorry madam. I can only discuss the account with the account holder."
"What part of 'he is dead' didn't you understand?"
F**kwit!
{eidt} Off topic! I actually DID say that (or words to that effect, anyway).
Black Sheep
Guru
- Location
- Rammy
the reason that your website has been removed is because my developer is putting your new one up
the reason that your website now looks like a template site is because my developer is building your new one
the reason that i haven't answered your e-mails is because i'm away out of the country
the reason there is no content on your website is, despite being asked for it before I went away and bitching at me while i'm away (which you did know about, i have the e-mail where you complained about that) is because you haven't sent it
the reason your website isn't up yet despite it being a week since i got back in the country and e-mailed you is...
YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN ME THE CONTENT TO GO ON THE SITE!
the reason that your website now looks like a template site is because my developer is building your new one
the reason that i haven't answered your e-mails is because i'm away out of the country
the reason there is no content on your website is, despite being asked for it before I went away and bitching at me while i'm away (which you did know about, i have the e-mail where you complained about that) is because you haven't sent it
the reason your website isn't up yet despite it being a week since i got back in the country and e-mailed you is...
YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN ME THE CONTENT TO GO ON THE SITE!
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
...so, how's my website coming along?
Black Sheep
Guru
- Location
- Rammy
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
Precisely!
People are going about on auto-pilot, not listening to a word you say.
Bank call centre workers are paid to listen and engage enough braincells to work out what to do next.
People who ask me questions can either listen to my answers or not bother asking the bloody questions in the first place!
byegad
Legendary Member
- Location
- NE England
When i worked for a call centre technical support (to customers) team my favourite unsaid phrase was.
Please return the apparatus to your supplier as you are far too thick to understand how it works!
Please return the apparatus to your supplier as you are far too thick to understand how it works!
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
Have you tried switching the power button on?
tdr1nka
Taking the biscuit
- Location
- SE London, Bandit Country
Synthesizer - too many 'S's' and 'Th'ths' for me.
