I think you need to ask yourself what you want out of cycling?
It's clear you like nice, expensive bikes with all the kit...but you don't have the cash of a lottery winner.
You want to race, but worry about having the right kit.
You equate bike quality with cycling ability.
That puts you in the same bracket as me, and most (racing) people on this forum, and for that matter, most part time racers out there.
However the more you do this crazy sport the more you realise that the successful, strong riders don't just train hard they are born different. They would beat you on a steel shopper any day of the week. Their bike does not define them, it is just a tool they use to prove how great they are.
Go to a good bike shop and buy a bike that fits you......ride it till it hurts....make your heart rate go so high it feels like it is going to jump out of you chest....do it again...and again.....drop 10 kg.....enter a race...loose......repeat until you win, but the chances are someone with a superior physique/physiology will beat you on a bike provided by sponsors.
There is nothing wrong with this (I do it) , but I stopped worrying how 'bling' my bike was a long time ago.
Have bike...ride...enjoy!