Training on three hours a week... according to the wife

[PizzaPopper]

I used to race a lot a few years ago before I met my wife and was training 15-20 hours a week. I have stopped racing and cycling for a year and felt so unfit and lazy. So now I have been training 6-10 hours a week now. This was over about 4-5 rides a week, usually 1.5-2hrs long, with the odd 2.5-3hr ride at the weekend. I usually cycle straight after work or early in the morning at the weekend. Now winter is here, it's indoor trainer time. 4-5 times a week, an hour at a time usually early morning or late at night (when Mrs is in bed). One of those rides will hopefully be an outdoor weekend ride (weather dependent) early in the morning.

She just went mental, and I mean shouting mental, at me saying I am obsessed. I spend more time on my bike than with her, I'd rather be out cycling than with her. I thought 6-10hrs a week (in reality it's more towards the 6-8hrs than 10, and currently more 5-6 because of winter). She wants me to "cut back" on it. She says 3 rides a week is sufficient. I'd love to then just do three longer rides but we all know that will not help. So it's three hours a week on the turbo.

My questions are.... is my wife being a normal unreasonable cyclists wife who doesn't understand that in order to enjoy cycling at a reasonable level you need to be fitter, or am I being selfish? And can you actually get really fit on 3 hours of turbo cycling a week?

 

[Darius_Jedburgh]

Sounds like you have got deep seated problems in your marriage.
A cycling forum won't help much.

 

[DCLane]

I'd suggest there's something more going on here than just you being out.

In terms of hours, could you ride to work/back? That becomes training. Also, training at home using a smart trainer / rollers / turbo intensively can help.

 

[Mo1959]

This is why I enjoy being single. Feck someone else in the house telling me what is acceptable.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Could you move the turbo out of the bedroom , so you don’t disturb her sleep when using it?

 

[bikingdad90]

Yes, your cycling too much.

To be blunt you are not racing or training for a big challenge ride like a sportive so why do you want to train, it’s because you enjoy it and it’s what you used to do.

3 hours is plenty, say an hour Monday, Wednesday and Friday on a morning and then enjoy the weekend going or doing something with the wife (and kids?) and enjoy the evenings with her.

She is most likely feeling lonely, occupying herself pretty much every evening and every weekend as your out on your bike can be dull and depressing, especially if there is a lack of socialising going on with Covid.

 

[screenman]

I know of many cyclist who have or have had this problem, how much quality time you devote to her seems very important. After 46 years we still day date every week at least, I make quality time when we can both be together and why not Pam is not only a wife but also my best mate. Training hard, working hard then all she gets is old worn out you is not good, also you can get very fit on 3 hours a week.

 

[Joffey]

I think she's being a bit unreasonable, especially as you are doing it when she is in bed, thus not affecting her. Maybe sit down and talk and see if there are any underlying issues. With these crazy Covid times it could be that she is is struggling and wants to spend more time with you or needs her own hobby etc.

My wife lets me do as much as I like as it helps with my mental health, so I suppose I'm lucky. Or not as if I don't cycle I turn into a raging binge drinker and it would probably be the end of my marriage.

If all else fails just kick her out and get another bike

 

[Dan77]

I feel your pain. Having just got into cycling properly this summer I have found myself getting fitter and enjoying it more and therefore needing to spend more time doing it in order to continue to improve my fitness.

I wish my wife would support me in this and perhaps even be proud of me for improving my health. Unfortunately that's not the case and so I'm having much the same problem. I do understand her view though as dealing with our 2 kids (one severely mentally and physically disabled and the other 20 months old) is not fun alone. Cycling has helped me so much physically and mentally though.

I manage to minimise the issue by commuting to work by bike as often as possible - usually 4 out of the 5 days weather dependant. I also extend the commute from the 3.5km each way it really is to around a 20km round trip. She doesn't know whether I have left work bang on 5pm or been stuck there half an hour late so the extra distance is kind of hidden, although when you do it every day not as hidden as it might be. I have started pointing out that the direct route is very heavy traffic now the roads are back to their pre-covid days and so it's safer going the long way - this is absolutely true.

I then manage to get one ride in at the weekend to top it up to generally around 120-150km/week overall. I try to be out the door before 9am on the weekend though so I'm back by 1pm latest. I will probably have to make this earlier. I'm also waiting for my new bike so i can put it on the turbo trainer. Then I will be able to do some training after she is in bed.

So generally, I think the trick is to try and get in as much as you are able to whilst minimising the effect on your wife. I find commuting the best contributor to this by far.

 

[matticus]

To be blunt you are not racing or training for a big challenge ride like a sportive so why do you want to train, it’s because you enjoy it and it’s what you used to do.

Yes.
80:20 rule applies - you can be very healthy, and nearly as fast, on far less than 15h/week. So the "need" to do more requires a lot of justification!

 

[Milkfloat]

There are many of us 'time crunched' cyclists. My solution is to make sure it impacts on family life as little as possible. This involves 6am turbo sessions, 7am Sunday rides and if I am lucky in the summer a mid-week evening ride with a pub stop. I am conscious that bringing up the kids is a shared role, so I make sure my wife gets some free time too. However, my new tactic seems to be working so far, she is in the if you can't beat them join them school of thought and is currently in the garage on the turbo trainer.

 

[plastic_cyclist]

I'm in the same boat, schucks, aren't we all? I've been known to get up at on a weekday 5am to make sure I get back, creep about the house, get ready like a ninja in slippers and slide out the door like a slither of hydrogen, making zero noise, and to be back by 07:30hrs. At this point its a good time as kids still in bed, so I think "yeah I did good!" ready to assist with kid school prep and breakfast only to be met with "its okay for you, just to swan in and out whatever time you like, whilst I'm here putting washing on"....(literally just as she's launching the garments into the machine!)....its SEVEN THIRTY??? what do you want me to do get up a 6am and start buttering the toast? thats marriage I'm afraid, yer just can't win. . Just sell yer bike pal, there's no hope for you...

 

[screenman]

I'm in the same boat, schucks, aren't we all? I've been known to get up at on a weekday 5am to make sure I get back, creep about the house, get ready like a ninja in slippers and slide out the door like a slither of hydrogen, making zero noise, and to be back by 07:30hrs. At this point its a good time as kids still in bed, so I think "yeah I did good!" ready to assist with kid school prep and breakfast only to be met with "its okay for you, just to swan in and out whatever time you like, whilst I'm here putting washing on"....(literally just as she's launching the garments into the machine!)....its SEVEN THIRTY??? what do you want me to do get up a 6am and start buttering the toast? thats marriage I'm afraid, yer just can't win. . Just sell yer bike pal, there's no hope for you...

That is nothing like my marriage at all.

 

[winjim]

It's half past six and I've just put a load of washing on, I'm looking after the toddler, making coffee and lunch for me and wife to take to work, making sure there's something out of the freezer for tea, packing the kids' bags for school and childminder, just put a loaf on to bake...

 

[screenman]

It's half past six and I've just put a load of washing on, I'm looking after the toddler, making coffee and lunch for me and wife to take to work, making sure there's something out of the freezer for tea, packing the kids' bags for school and childminder, just put a loaf on to bake...

I am taking Pam shopping this morning as it is easier and more fun if we do it together, after that we may get a ride in on the bikes if this wind drops a bit. At this moment I am answering business emails whilst Pam tidies up and does household things.