True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Chris had dabbled in the brewing industry, as we all know 'Geordie homo errctus' likes a Swally or three. He tried a new combination , of Bovril, Marmite and Liquorice, thinking it because twist on Newkie Broon.
He of course called it after himself,C. Rea soda 'Creasoda' , tried giving it to a Geordie to try ,' Ha' way Man, wha' zat yere daft hinny' as he spat it out onto a fence, it immediately said it a dark brown, and gave it an oily film, cats were immediately attracted to it.
So he thought again ,marketed it as a wood preservative, and renamed it 'Creosote', hence the timber treatment was made.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea briefly worked as an assassin.

To cover up the deliberate nature of the killings he would use the TURDIS to ram the victims car off the road.

This has given rise to there term 'Rea Ended' to describe a successful hit.

Over time the public used the term to describe normal road collisions and later generations, unaware of the origins of the term, call it "rear Ended."

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea briefly worked as an assassin.

Yes, I remember that. He was nicknamed the Grim Rea-per wasn't he?

 

[craigwend]

Rare photo,
View attachment 762753

He's had to update the 'virtual illusion' (chameleon circuit) - neighbours aren't happy though - full on arms folded...

 

[craigwend]

He's had to update the 'virtual illusion' (chameleon circuit) - neighbours aren't happy though - full on arms folded...
View attachment 762901

It's got (previous / future) form...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-46756394.amp

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea is having a party

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea has branched out from 'music' to landscaping.
He best design is a blockpaved drive, carefully constructed so that when viewed in the style of a magic eye poster, it resembles the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge.

His first installation of said design attracted a lot of criticism from the home-owner, who complained his EV always did an emergency stop at the property boundary with the warning "Danger: water ahead".

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea, has today, had a bit of a shock, the Turdis appeared in Shalbourne Berkshire, on leaving the Turdis wearing his invisibility cloak, he was dismayed to hear the locals talking about the death of Jethro Tull, so he went to a pub where it was confirmed by more locals that this was the case, some of the locals were were doing a "Turn" singing popular songs of the day, so Chris borrowed a guitar and said I'd like to do a couple of Jethro Tull's songs in tribute to him, the bemused and confused locals witnessed Chris perform Aqualung & living In The Past, his favourite for obvious reasons, which the pubs customers thoroughly enjoyed, but were totally baffled by what had occurred,it's only when he got back to the TeesportTime Travel Megabase, that he realised his mistake, and that Ian Anderson was still in good health

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's half Welsh half Irish Nephew, Dai O'Rea, recently scored a zero star hygiene rating at his curry restaurant.

 

[grldtnr]

And so he should, with a name like that !

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Chris Rea is a Dictator.

An orange man told me.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea avoids US import tariffs on the TURDIS by disassembling it and sending it to the US by FedEx, and then assembling it in-country.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has an impressive Wordle streak.

He's done the puzzle nearly every day since it started, but has never got it right.

"I still haven't figured out what I'm supposed to be doing" he says.

 

[Drago]

During WWII Chris Rea had a job compiling crosswords for The Times.

In 1944 he almost landed in hot water when one of his crosswords contained the words "TURDIS", "Normandy", "Drop off the Commandos outside the cafe", and "collect brown envelope full of cash from Monty" a mere 48 hours before the D day landings were due.

 

[DRM]

Research has discovered that the many predictions made by Nostradamus, were actually confessions when Chris Rea, and the Turdis appeared in 16th Century France, Chris told Nostradamus about all the disasters his Time Travel shenanigans had caused, and Nostradamus wrote them down, in a kind of coded way as the whole thing just sounded too far fetched to be believable.