True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea is the adoptive father of Bob Hoskins.

 

[grldtnr]

Although he has proved, conclusively, that pyramids have no ability to keep razor blades sharp, the scruffy oik.

Rea can juggle 5 live powered chain saws, but only under a pyramid.
He doesn't know why.....





....

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was the bulldozer driver during the title scene of the Italian Job.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea can thread a needle with his eyes shut, after years of honing his skills by navigating the Turdis through time vortices.

Although he's crap at parking his Allegro.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is the adoptive father of Bob Hoskins.

He was really disappointed when Bob turned up. He thought he was adopting Bob Holness.

 

[Drago]

He was really disappointed when Bob turned up. He thought he was adopting Bob Holness.

Indeed, although Chris Rea had misread the paperwork as "Bob Holiness", leading the bearded blues meister to believe he would be adopting a cardinal, or at the very least a Bishop.

 

[grldtnr]

Indeed, although Chris Rea had misread the paperwork as "Bob Holiness", leading the bearded blues meister to believe he would be adopting a cardinal, or at the very least a Bishop.

It's the enigma of being omnipresent, spurned on by his constant time travelling

 

[grldtnr]

If he doesn't watch , it he'll disappear up his own Jacksie ,turn his self inside out and remanifest as Richard Madeley , ....for they are nothe the same being , except mad 'Madders' isn't omnipresent, as he hast a time travel machine.

 

[Drago]

In 1982 Chris Rea became disorientated while trying to navigate the south Atlantic during a storm. In the confusion the TURDIS collided with the ARA General Belgrano, knocking the bow clean off and sinking the vessel.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea is so jealous of Johnny Cash having a spider named after him* he has donated £4 million to search for a new species of scorpion.

* https://www.livescience.com/53616-tarantula-named-for-johnny-cash.html

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has been invited by the King (God save the King!) to become an associate member ofnthe Commonwealth.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea’s Turdis has it’s own Middlesbrough post code, so if he takes anyone for a ride in it when it’s in foreign lands, they have to show their passport on entry and exit, it even has a U.K sticker on it

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea swears blind that Gene Hackman was alive when he dropped him off at home in the TURDIS after the Tupperware party.

 

[PeteXXX]

Anyone who tries playing an April Fool trick on Chris Rea soon feels the might of his infamous left hook! 🥊

 

[Drago]

Prior to Chris Rea's meddling with time, March used to have 32 days and April started on the 2nd.