True Facts About Chris Rea

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea started his musical career as an Aretha Franklin impersonator in a bar in down-town Harrogate.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea started his musical career as an Aretha Franklin impersonator in a bar in down-town Harrogate.

I remember that tribute act. Called Urethra Franklin I seem to recall

 

[Seevio]

Chris Rea was once forced to fight off a grizzly attack. It is alleged that the emergency operator assumed they had been had been told to wait when Chris said "bear with me."

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea is a body double for Bear Grylls. It wasn't Grylls who camped in the body of a dead camel for warmth, or who drunk tea made of a dead mouse steeped in Michelle Rodriguez's urine.

One lump or two?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has an annoying habit of flicking the pips across the room whenever he eats an apple

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea discovered gravity.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris Rea defies gravity, but only above 80,000 ft.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea employs winged monkeys to write his lyrics.

 

[Mr Celine]

Gangster film 'Get Carter' was originally to be called 'Get Real'. Due to a misunderstanding ascribed to 1960s telephone technology Chris Rea was engaged for the leading role. He agreed on the condition that the film was set in his native north east and featured a Deltic, his favourite diesel locomotive.
Once the mistake was discovered the only available stand in, Michael Caine, was hurriedly substituted but it was too late to change the locations.
This explains why a Geordie returning home is played by and sounds like a bleedin cockney.

 

[rogerzilla]

Chris Rea is about to release an instrumental album played entirely on pan pipes.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea owns a frying pan made from pan pipes.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Chris Rea is favourite to win multiple gold medals over several Olympic sports. Swimming, Boxing, High Jump, Dressage (as the horse) and 1 a side Football.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea once punched John Wayne and knocked him out cold in an argument about the merits of vinyl over CDs.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea likes to dress up as Madeline the rag doll from Bagpuss and re enact each episode with the help of his session musicians.

 

[Rusty Nails]

Chris Rea was the masked man carrying the Olympic torch tonight in Paris.