True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea is allergic to toothpaste.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea has seen a straight banana.

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea started the argument as to whether pineapple has any place on a pizza.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea started the argument as to whether pineapple has any place on a pizza.

Chris Rea is on record as saying that pizza has no place under a pineapple.

 

[Moon bunny]

Whatever Chris Rea says about pineapple on pizza is right, there is no argument.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

In honour of setting up this list of truths, Chris Rea has recently had the name Drago, tattooed on his left buttock.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea has had dies tattooed on his right buttock

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was a teenage apprentice in the ITV This Morning studio.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea has a CSE in technical drawing

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea invented the cats eye, after light reflected from a real cats eyes prevented him driving ofr a cliff one dark stormy night.

The next time he saw the cat it was facing the other way and that inspired him to invent the pencil sharpener.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea lubricates his cycle chains with WD40, we, the mighty Chris Rea's disciples, must do likewise.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give up, fact is indeed stranger than fiction, Chris Rea uses WD40 to polish his lock picks:
https://www.itstactical.com/skillcom/lock-picking/polishing-your-diy-lock-pick-set-for-durability/

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea keeps his luxuriant goatee looking glossy with liberal applications of Castrol LM grease.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea was the middleweight husband dragging world champion for 3 consecutive years, 2000,2001 & 2002, the sport originated in Castleford, West Yorkshire, in 1858, when local miners were paid in the pub every friday, and after a few relaxing beers their wives would turn up on mass, grab their inebriated other halves backwards off a bar stool, and drag them home, it soon became a highly competitive event, with the women racing home, the modern event features a specially designed shirt with a reinforced dragging handle near the collar, his win was also the first by a non Yorkshire resident, the furthest away previous winner being Alf Thackeray of Goole, in 1931.

 

[Drago]

During WWII Chris Rea was a member of an auxiliary unit. In the event of a nazzie invasion Rea was tasked as a "stay behind", with orders to sabotage the nazzies and assassinate notable Englishment who might be useful to or collaborate with the hun.

To this day a glimpse of Jeremy Corbyn, Tommy Robinson or Michael Barrymore on TV is enough to send him automatically into a deadly karate stance.

 

[Jenkins]

Chris Rea is Scotland's foremost expert on Haggis sexing.