Chris Rea is just back from Agincourt where a blast from the Turdis wiped out a large proportion of the French army. This enabled Henry and his army to retreat to Calais,
As has already been mentioned Chris has an amazing memory, he uses it by hanging around the arcade on Redcar beach watching the fruit machines for the moment that they're ready to drop the jackpot.
When Chris Rea was 180 years old he entered the egg and spoon race in junior school (year 9).
He was disqualified for using bluetack. His egg fell off and the bluetack was clear for all to see.
He has never forgotten it and if you listen carefully to his later music there are hidden references to why he should have used superglue.
Chris Rea was thrown out of the Hypnotists Society for misusing his powers.
During a stage hypnotism act in the 1980s Chris Rea hypnotised a clueless public schoolboy named Johnson making him believe that he was the British Prime Minister. Although the audience at the time found the resulting clownish idiotic performance amusing, it caused long term damage to Johnson and, it must be said, to the country.
Chris Rea has an eclectic collection of toe nail clippings, some dating back to when his 19,......where this going I don't know, but someone will make something on of it........cheesy feet likely!
Every time Chris Rea has an NHS healthcheck, the GP notices severe ulceration of CR's mouth.
Swabs have failed to identify any infectious agent, but a lab consultant is convinced the explanation is a brand new bacteria, previously not known to science.
Chris Rea actually knows the real cause of the ulcers but is too embarrassed to admit they are simply the effect of his pineapple chunks addiction.
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