True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

Rumour has it that's how he can access the Metro for free without getting caught

Much of the Tyne and Wear Metro was constructed in pre-existing tunnels, that seemed structurally sound even though no-one could explain how they came about. But we know who dug them, don't we?

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea provided the title for one of Ultravox smash hits, after Midge Ure nipped to the loo whilst they were recording their 1984 album, Lament, Chris had gone to do some guitar work to help his mate Midge Ure, Midge had been at the gent's for quite a while, so Chris went to see if he was OK, sadly Midge Ure had trapped his "Gentleman's Bit's" in his zip fly, when asked by everyone what was going on, Chris said that Midge was "Dancing With Tears In His Eyes" after a trip to A&E all was sorted out, the track they were recording got it's name, & got to number 3 in the UK charts, so all's well that ends well.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has appeared in 17 episodes of Dr Who. 13 as a dalek, 3 as a cyberman and once as a kind of lobster thing.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea worked for several years as a trig point atop Ben Nevis. This involved holding a flush bracket between his buttocks and standing very still indeed for 6 years.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea worked for several years as a trig point stop Ben Nevis. This involved holding a flush bracket between his buttocks and standing very still indeed for 6 years.

I am pretty sure he wouldn't be standing still, when the lightning strikes........i'd say he'd be very animated!

 

[Drago]

The rate of growth of Chris Rea's lustrous beard has been radically enhanced by repeated lighting strikes, which have also bestowed him with quadrophonic hearing.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris has recently been awarded the Victoria Cross for his bravery shown during the battle of Roukes Drift. Chris has kept quiet about the protection offered by the auberge field.

 

[Dogtrousers]

When he was young Chris Rea was bitten by a radioactive Welshman, and ever since he has had the power to pronounce Llangollen correctly.

 

[Drago]

Due to an administrative error Chris Rea was made an honourary Welshman for his part in ending the Dundee University terrorist incident.

 

[lazybloke]

A recent direct lightning strike fused Chris Rea's beard hair into carbon nanotubes.
But his earlier meal of Middlesbrough Parmo had left sufficient crumbs in his beard to infuse the nanotubes with rare trace elements, serendipitously creating the world's first room-temperature superconductor, perfect as electrodes for lithium iron batteries allowing near-instantaneous charging.

Thus Rea has gone into partnership with Elon Muck to build the next Battery-Gigafactory in Middlesbrough, bringing as many as seven jobs to the local community.

 

[grldtnr]

This thread is getting far too technical & sciencey for me.....

 

[Evil_Breakfast]

Following months of discussion with the HMRC over an unpaid tax bill; Chris Rea is trying, desperately, to raise funds.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/27644305...1DSzgAVZjLF5WozOQoQPG9ow==|tkp:Bk9SR6L74_nDZQ

 

[lazybloke]

This thread is getting far too technical & sciencey for me.....

Nonsense, i dumbed down by excluding all mention of cooper-pair theory from discussions regarding Chris Rea's superconducting beard.
Do you want non-sciencey Chris Rea facts?

How about: Chris Rea is the principle supplier of hair for all merkins used on set in Coronation Street.

Afraid i cant resist science for long:
Room-temperature superconductivity is wasted on Chris Rea. He's so cool he always superconducts.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is the only person to give Chuck Norris a wedgie and survive.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Chris Rea