True Facts About Ross Kemp

[DRM]

The President of Iran has apologised to neighbouring countries, it seems he realised the republican Guard have made a huge mistake after one missile struck the UAE branch of Greggs, just before Ross Kemp was due to nip in for 4x sausage rolls for a £1, a Steak Bake & a Latte on his current spring break to the Gulf States

 

[Drago]

In order to deter further attacks the Saudi government have offered £1 million to Ross Kemp to park his Jag in downtown Riyadh.

 

[Drago]

Rumours abound that the British have a new munition even more powerful than the Murican Mother of All Bombs.

Only one Fist of Kemp has been manufactured, as the hoity toity ponces at the M.O.D. claim that the mere fact of its existence would be enough to deter even the most rabid aggressor.