Dear Auntie Dragonfly
I am in a financial quandary, and most urgently require your wise comments.
You see, I have received an email, out of the blue, which I'm so pleased I replied to, as a lovely gentleman, a member of Royalty no less, called Prince Oswaga N'Gunu, from a very posh part of Lagos, has just spent three hours of his precious time talking to little old me!
However, here is my quandary, don't ask me how, but the lovely Prince has told me that I've won £178,000,000,000,005 on a charitable Lottery that he runs in Nigeria, that, wait for it, .... I don't want you blubbing at this (like I did) .... helps to re-home orphaned and stressed nanny goats in South West Nigeria!
All he needs, to unlock this incredible, life changing amount of money (think of the bikes I could buy) is £10,000 from me. How unbelievably kind of him, as he said that normally, for such a large win, it would be £20,000, but my blubbing over the nanny goats, meant he felt sorry for me.
Now, here's the rub Auntie Dragonfly, I do have access to this sum, however, I can do it one of two ways, and this is where you wise counsel is sought:
1. My 103 year old gran, Dorothea Gertrude, had placed me in charge of her accounts and assets. I know Granny Dot wouldn't mind me temporarily dipping into her £3,755.78 savings, alongside selling off her clothes to that Vinted place. Some of them don't smell too badly of mothballs.
2. Whilst down at The Duck and Fleapit pub last weekend, a lovely local "character", Knuckles McFadden, took me to one side, and after only gently squeezing my left "ging gong gooley" with a pair of pliers, asked me to look after an envelope for him for a couple of weeks. When I got the envelope home, there was, and you're not going to believe it, £10,000 in five pound notes stuffed in there! Thing is, some of them had some white powder on them, it didn't taste like sherbet (to be honest, I was a bit hyper the rest of the weekend!).
Now, which route should I go, or, perhaps, half and half?
Squeezed Nut Simon.
