Variation on a theme

[Theseus]

Prompted by this post, I am reminded of the variants of the song I have sang at bedtime as well as the traditional version. I know of ...

Twinkle twinkle chocolate bar
Daddy drives a rusty car
Push the starter, pull the choke
Off we go in a cloud of smoke
Twinkle twinkle chocolate bar

...

Twinkle twinkle traffic light
Down at the station, shining bright
Red means stop, green means go
Amber is for very slow
Twinkle twinkle traffic light

...

and finaly thanks to Lewis Carrol

Twinkle twinkle little bat
How I wonder where you're at
Up above the world so high
Like a tea tray in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little bat


Any others?

 

[Globalti]

Mary had a little pig

and it was always gruntin'.

She tied it to a five-bar gate

and kicked its little head in.

 

[TVC]

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
I'm a bit peculiar,
But there you are...

 

[Smokin Joe]

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

 

[slugonabike]

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
It's sooty foot he put.

As taught to me by my Mum when I was a little girl.

 

[Theseus]

If we are doing Mary ones ...

Mary had a little skirt
It was split right up the side
Everytime she walked around
You could see her thigh

Mary had another skirt
This was split up the front
... but she never wore that one

 

[Spinney]

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would...fall off.

 

[Archie_tect]

The favourites at junior school were:

Mary had a little lamb,
she also had a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb...
...but never seen her bare.

Mary had a little lamb,
she kept it in a bucket....

My puritanical antecedents prevent me continuing, but you can work the rest out yourself [or not!]

 

[661-Pete]

Here's a 'clean' one, dating from the 1950s (time of meat rationing):

Mary had a little lamb,
Her sister came to grief:
She lived in 1951,
And only got corned beef...

 

[661-Pete]

And of course you all know this one:

There was a young lady of Bude,
Who went for a swim in the lake;
A man in a punt,
Stuck a pole in her ear,
And said 'you can't swim here it's private'

Edit: I'm not going to post the "young man from Nantucket" one!....

 

[Smokin Joe]

A busty young redhead from Lunt...

Maybe not.

 

[Theseus]

There was a man from Nantucket
Who had a hole in his bucket
No matter how much he tweaked
The darn thing always leaked
Finally fed up he said "I'll buy a new one"