What can you do with carpet off cuts?

[ComedyPilot]

Has anyone suggested a cheap (and fire retardant) mirkin?

 

[ComedyPilot]

A cheap make-do goatee beard for your first few visits to the local 'Vladimir Ilyich Lenin Appreciation Society'?

 

[ComedyPilot]

Comfy 'bra-liners' for those cold nights in Worcestershire?

 

[ComedyPilot]

Make your own Chewbacca suit for the Star Trek Wars reunions?

 

[Norm]

Until Comedy Pilot started posting, I think I've done / got most of those.

Another to add to the list is to lay it on the ground before putting down a pond liner, again to stop puncturing.

Oh, and anyone with a motorbike that gets left for long periods on concrete should lay a piece under each tyre, much better for the rubber to sit on carpet than on bare concrete.

 

[potsy]

I used to have a piece in the front room for practicing my golf 'chipping' on.

 

[TVC]

I can't remember where this one came from, most likely Viz:

Tape a small piece of carpet to the bottom of your slippers, then there is no need to carpet the whole house.

 

[palinurus]

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA6vAqlhuiQ

 

[Globalti]

Rub your GF's bottom vigorously with it so that she gets carpet burns then snigger and tell your pals that you had really rampant sex on the floor last night?

 

[Mark_Robson]

Rub your GF's bottom vigorously with it so that she gets carpet burns then snigger and tell your pals that you had really rampant sex on the floor last night?

Doing your knees might be an easier option.
Unpick all the wool from the carpet off cuts and use it to make a proggy mat. If you make one to the dimensions of your room it will look just like a carpet.

 

[betty swollocks]

Each of my bikes has an off cut to rest on.

 

[Noodley]

We had quite a decent sized cut-off when we re-carpetted our living room, and it's now used in my bike storage room as somewhere comy for my bikes to rest their tyres on....

If I'd had smaller pieces I'd have been tempted to stitch them into my pants and used them instead of padded bibshorts

 

[sheddy]

Lay a piece on the new carpet when lubing up

 

[Piemaster]

Rub your GF's bottom vigorously with it so that she gets carpet burns then snigger and tell your pals that you had really rampant sex on the floor last night?

Lay a piece on the new carpet when lubing up

An innocent question and it degenerates to this standard.

Again

 

[slowmotion]

Brown shag-pile makes a most convincing hairpiece.