What crap jobs have you done?


Legendary Member
I only contribute to one other forum (a horological one) and this was an eye opening thread on there.

I am electrician by trade but I hated it with a passion, I'd do anyhting to avoid picking up that freaking tool box. I work for myself now, no not as a sparky:smile: and consider myself very fortunate indeed, but before I got lucky I have been...

1. A waiter.
2. Pig farm worker.
3. Shelf stacker.
4. Electricians mate. I know, I know.:blush:
5. Security guard.
6. Salesman selling industrial energy optimisers for AC induction motors.
7. Telesales. Lasted 47 minutes.

What have you done?


nothing in moderation
till operator at safeways, telesales, macdonalds (all two shifts before either i got fired or i just left (actually both iirc)).
- Answered complaints letters for a tour operator. Truly the most miserable experience ever.
- Stuffed envelopes in a warehouse
- Sold gig merchandise at the NEC and at various festivals, where the boss was ripping the company off and blaming the vendors, so we kept getting docked for the losses. He ended up in prison having stolen 20 grand from the company.


New Member
South Beds.
1)paper round.....
2)Bike mechanic at a LBS that went bust after 2 months...
thwy wanted me to clean the bog...I walked out after the first day....bog left uncleaned.


Legendary Member
stevenb said:
1)paper round.....
2)Bike mechanic at a LBS that went bust after 2 months...
thwy wanted me to clean the bog...I walked out after the first day....bog left uncleaned.
I had to clean the bog at work when I was 17, make everybody's coffee and clean the bosses car. At the time it didn't strike me as wrong and now 28 years later I know it wasn't wrong. On the contrary, I am glad I did it.


Smutmaster General
Cleaner ("domestic assistant") in a mental handicap hospital for a year. I had just given up nursing (including having worked as a nurse at the same hospital), and was having rather a hard time trying to support an alcoholic parent after the death of another parent, and I needed the money! :o) Working as a cleaner where you have previously held a responsible job is not easy, and suffice to say life was not a bowl of cherries at that point. Thankfully, I found my way, and am now generally a happy bunny! :blush:

My grandfather used to have the job of opening the sluice gates at high tide to let the shite out of Dublin (this was early 1920s-1930s!) Literally, a crap job!
Delivering exhaust brackets, in pieces, to bored housewives on council estates.
You mean you didn't relieve the housewive's of their boredom? :blush:

I have:-

Dressed as a furry dolphin and danced for small children.
Been a trade plater (paid hitchhiker basically).
Been a dental receptionist on a Royal Marine base.
Worked on a cheese counter.
Been an estate agent.
Worked in several offices.
Bar work.
Shop work.
Sexed chickens (apparently I have a natural gift for it....seriously!)
Been a postman.
Multi-drop Transit driver.
Now working in local government.


Über Member
Waiting on tables in a market town cafe/bistro was truly the most hateful job I have ever done, I almost lost the will to live, having to be nice to the same old country bumpkins with the same old shoot every day. Never really been one for dealing with the public. I have done lots of other menial jobs in my time but they have normally been back room type positions so never really hated them.


Comrade Member
Limoges or York
Petrol pump attendant - we actually put the stuff in as it was a long time ago! We even got tips for checking oil, etc. Just a pocket money job.
Estate agents trainee negotiator, an eye-opener and thankfully was not there long.
Ferry company's goods inwards clerk (boring or what?)
Dock labour scheduler (oh, the power!:blush:)
Freight forwarder (lots of initiative needed - enjoyed it for a while)
Mail order deliveries (as a student) Horrendous.. lasted a week and half..
Computer Programmer
Analyst Programmer
Change controller (good pay and more power:tongue:)
Answering the phone to people complaining about York City council. Interesting for a bit but a few real nasty callers and I was glad it was only a temporary job.
More temp stuff for the council - all boring
Barn converter. Hard work but I enjoy it and I'm the boss..
I once had to move potatoes from the big sacks to 3lb and 5 lb bags in our local greengrocers. I sat on a wee drinks create weighing the potatoes packing them etc. Got 60p a sack!

I can still remember to this day the instant pungent smell you got when you opened a sack and the potatoes were rotten. I didn't put them out for sale honest :blush:
Oh and I worked in a housing office one summer, in the repairs section. I had many fun phone calls like (remember this is west coast of Scotland)

'there's water pishin doon ma windy sonny. Wit ye gonae do about it?'

and my personal favourite

'ma knobs fell oaf and fell doon the toilet. Can ye send a bloke over to fix it back oan'

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