What it would be like and can you imagine if....

[Herbie]

I watched a bit of Nelson Mandelas funeral today and a thought entered my heid....what it would be like and can you imagine if the Queen suddenly dropped down dead on Christmas Eve of all days? Crimbo TV schedules would be in disarray for one thing....thoughts anyone?

 

[vernon]

thoughts anyone?

I would be as impassive as I was on hearing about Nelson Mandela's death. Life goes on.

Altered TV schedules would not impact on me. I don't watch it.

 

[Arch]

<conspiracy theory> They wouldn't tell us. She's recorded her speech already by now. They'd tell us on Boxing Day.

</conspiracy theory>

No, I don't really believe that, but I know someone who probably would!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

It would be completely and utterly HORRIFIC!! When not being utterly hysterical, the media would be practically playing with themselves in public!

The TV would be crammed solid of one utterly maddening, fawning, arse licking deferential programme after another, whilst the news would be full of so called 'Experts' who would do nothing but state the absolutely bloody ****ing obvious as if we are all about 5, interrupted only by interviews with devastated BNP/EDL types (probably with 6 toes on each foot) wearing Union Flags from head to toe and each looking more utterly deranged than the last.
Meanwhile, Politicians and Celebrities would be moving faster than Jimmy Saville at a School Sports Day towards one photo opportunity after another in order to show the world just how 'upset' they are. The papers would go into complete hyperactive exhaustion.
There would be queues full of gushing, Mrs Bucket, Prawn Sandwich Brigade types backing all the way from Westminster to Wimbledon just to see Her Maj lying in state, whilst The Bradford Exchange would go into hyperdrive, producing the biggest load of tatt ever recorded in the history of the Universe.
The Royal Mint would announce yet another set of needless 'commemorative' 50 pence pieces, 2 and £5 coins, and the Royal Mail or whatever they are called that week would unleash umpteen First Day Covers on us.

The Grenadier Guards would be out in Hyde Park performing a Million gun salute which would achieve precisely nothing except for scaring all the local dogs totally s*itless.... Although one of the guns was used on D-Day and the Queen once used it for hunting grouse you know, so that would make it all ok!!

We would be subjected to yet another of these round the country flame Beacon things or some sort of Baton Relay thingimybobber, with lots of well meaning idiots taking part.
....... And of course, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere near central London on the day of the Funeral (as if you'd ever want to anyway).

Right shower, the lot of them!

I hope I am out of the country when she finally does go, it really IS going to be quite excruciatingly hideous. The experience of Diana was bad enough thanks.

 

[jhawk]

It would be completely and utterly HORRIFIC!! The media would be practically playing with themselves in public!

The TV would crammed solid of one utterly maddening, fawning, arse licking deferential programme after another, whilst the news would be full of devastated BNP types (probably with 6 toes on each foot) wearing Union Flags from head to toe, with each looking more utterly deranged than the last, whilst Politicians and Celebrities would be moving faster than Jimmy Saville at a School towards one photo opportunity after another in order to show the world just how 'upset' they are, papers would go into complete meltdown, there would be queues full of Mrs Bucket, Prawn sandwich Brigade types all the way back to Wimbledon just to see her lying in state, The Bradford Exchange would go into hyperdrive, producing the biggest load of complete tatt ever seen in the history of the Universe, The Royal Mint would announce yet another set of pointless 'commemorative' 50 pence pieces and £5 coins, whilst the Royal Mail or whatever they are called this week would unleash umpteen First Day Covers on us and the Grenadier Guards would be out in Hyde Park performing a Trillion gun salute which would achieve precisely nothing except for scaring all the local dogs utterly s*itless.... But the gun was used on D-Day and the Queen once used it for hunting grouse you know, so that would make it all ok.... And... And....

Right shower, the lot of them!

I hope I am out of the country when she finally does go, it really IS going to be quite hideous. The experience of Diana was bad enough thanks.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Bollo]

It would be completely and utterly HORRIFIC!! The media would be practically playing with themselves in public!

The TV would be crammed solid of one utterly maddening, fawning, arse licking deferential programme after another, whilst the news would be full of so called 'Experts' who would do nothing but state the absolutely bloody ****ing obvious as if we are all about 5, interrupted only by interviews with devastated BNP/EDL types (probably with 6 toes on each foot) wearing Union Flags from head to toe and each looking more utterly deranged than the last.
Meanwhile, Politicians and Celebrities would be moving faster than Jimmy Saville at a School Sports Day towards one photo opportunity after another in order to show the world just how 'upset' they are. The papers would go into complete hyperactive meltdown. There would be queues full of gushing, Mrs Bucket, Prawn sandwich Brigade types backing all the way from Westminster to Wimbledon just to see Her Maj lying in state, whilst The Bradford Exchange would go into hyperdrive, producing the biggest load of complete tatt ever seen in the history of the Universe, The Royal Mint would announce yet another set of needless 'commemorative' 50 pence pieces, 2 and £5 coins, and the Royal Mail or whatever they are called that week would unleash umpteen First Day Covers on us.
The Grenadier Guards would be out in Hyde Park performing a Trillion gun salute which would achieve precisely nothing except for scaring all the local dogs totally s*itless.... But one of the guns was used on D-Day and the Queen once used it for hunting grouse you know, so that would make it all ok!!

We would be subjected to yet another of these round the country flame Beacon things or some sort of Baton Relay thingimybobber, with lots of well meaning idiots taking part.
....... And of course, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere near central London on the day of the Funeral (as if you'd ever want to anyway).

Right shower, the lot of them!

I hope I am out of the country when she finally does go, it really IS going to be quite hideous. The experience of Diana was bad enough thanks.

Admit it, you had that post prepared.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Admit it, you had that post prepared.

I think we all have our own version of it mentally prepared somewhere.

Actually no, I wrote it on the spot, unlike her Obituaries.

 

[swee'pea99]

By a strange coincidence, just t'other day I stumbled across this ancient email containing extracts from the online Book of Remembrance following the demise of The Queen Mum:

> "I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our
> very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York
> in the face". L.Ward, Mansfield.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I
> did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imag i ne that I will ever
smile
> for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
> A.Christie,Hendon.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shoot"
> J.Clement. Grantham.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
> D.Holmes, Somerset.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
> visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to
> the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to
> the Nazisand I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a
> fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later
> though, it was sickening". B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington,
> Penrith.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the dayoff".
> S.Wilson, Bristol.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
> family without being accused of being homosexual". J. Fletcher, High
> Wycombe.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
> experiment with drugs". E. Franks, Cheshire.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences". T.Watson,
> Ilford.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around
> The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists". Y. Howell,
> Slough.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
> should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her
> mother?" W.Waugh, Richmond.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
> K. O'Neil, Inverness.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
> public duties". N. Wallace, Swansea.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible
> event" E. Thompson, West Lothian.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> "Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel
> better" P.McGregor, Southampton.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels,
> jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk
> past her coffin". R. Thompson, Bath.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so
> again until her majesty is buried" E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
> R. Combes,
> Romford.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
> smile. Just like a retard" G. Hollins, East Sussex.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
> kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you
> know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shoot'. She was a
> wondrous person". E.Collier, London.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
> G.Williams, West Midlands.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she
> perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like
> us in a good way. God bless you ma'am". L. Weller, Harlow.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless
> bastard!" J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and
> misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given
> a life of privilege and comfort" T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
>

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

 

[Accy cyclist]

It would be completely and utterly HORRIFIC!! The media would be practically playing with themselves in public!

The TV would be crammed solid of one utterly maddening, fawning, arse licking deferential programme after another, whilst the news would be full of so called 'Experts' who would do nothing but state the absolutely bloody ****ing obvious as if we are all about 5, interrupted only by interviews with devastated BNP/EDL types (probably with 6 toes on each foot) wearing Union Flags from head to toe and each looking more utterly deranged than the last.
Meanwhile, Politicians and Celebrities would be moving faster than Jimmy Saville at a School Sports Day towards one photo opportunity after another in order to show the world just how 'upset' they are. The papers would go into complete hyperactive meltdown. There would be queues full of gushing, Mrs Bucket, Prawn Sandwich Brigade types backing all the way from Westminster to Wimbledon just to see Her Maj lying in state, whilst The Bradford Exchange would go into hyperdrive, producing the biggest load of tatt ever recorded in the history of the Universe, The Royal Mint would announce yet another set of needless 'commemorative' 50 pence pieces, 2 and £5 coins, and the Royal Mail or whatever they are called that week would unleash umpteen First Day Covers on us.
The Grenadier Guards would be out in Hyde Park performing a Trillion gun salute which would achieve precisely nothing except for scaring all the local dogs totally s*itless.... Although one of the guns was used on D-Day and the Queen once used it for hunting grouse you know, so that would make it all ok!!

We would be subjected to yet another of these round the country flame Beacon things or some sort of Baton Relay thingimybobber, with lots of well meaning idiots taking part.
....... And of course, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere near central London on the day of the Funeral (as if you'd ever want to anyway).

Right shower, the lot of them!

I hope I am out of the country when she finally does go, it really IS going to be quite hideous. The experience of Diana was bad enough thanks.

Rant over?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Rant over?

Along with all of this happening, there will be the other unsightly happenings:

Before the Queen would have time to become cold, the slagging off of Charles and Camila would have started in earnest by just about anyone claiming to be a 'comedian' and a lot more besides, shows like 'Have I Got News For You?' would have an absolute field day and probably end up making themselves look like the bunch of twats they sometimes are. The anti monarchy peeps would be out in force demanding that it all be abolished now whilst we still have a chance. The Queen will be named officially as the very bestest Queen ever.... Since Victoria anyway.... Just about everything will be named or renamed after her (The Queen Elizabeth II Sewerage Works anyone?) Just as the RAF do a flypast with William leading in his Whirlygig thing whilst trying to bomb some unsuspecting sheep on Anglesey as part of an operation.

 

[biggs682]

we are stocked up with worthwhile dvd's

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

we are stocked up with worthwhile dvd's

Ah yes, but do you have 'The Queen'??

 

[asterix]

Rant over?

No doubt he spoke for Millions. Especially if Downton Abbey got cancelled.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

No doubt he spoke for Millions. Especially if Downton Abbey got cancelled.

You liked it didn't you?

If Downton Abbey really did become Downturn, then I imagine there would be a full scale revolt amongst certain sections of society!