What it would be like and can you imagine if....

[Fnaar]

Anyone fancy starting a twitter rumour about the royal demise?

 

[postman]

Anyone fancy starting a twitter rumour about the royal demise?

i think The Tower of London might be a tight squeeze with all of us Chatters locked up in it.

 

[asterix]

The BBC cut off programmes when Mandela died.

What would have happened if he had died in the middle of an episode of Doctor Who (which the BBC seems to w@nk itself over endlessly)?

There would be a time warp allowing everyone to watch the program before becoming aware of the news. Obviously. Anyone not watching the programme would suddenly become aware of other people who thought the time was x minutes before it actually was. Deadlines would be missed, meetings cancelled, meals ruined and other tv programmes would suffer from a sudden break in continuity so that no-one would know who to vote for in the x-factor, Strictly Come How's-your-father or They're Celebrities Get Them Out Of Here.

 

[Nihal]

Well,I think you should all be tried for treason

"First, it is high treason to "compass or imagine the death of our Lord the King, of our Lady his Queen, or of their eldest son and heir."

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_treason_in_the_United_Kingdom

 

[rich p]

By a strange coincidence, just t'other day I stumbled across this ancient email containing extracts from the online Book of Remembrance following the demise of The Queen Mum:

> "I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our
> very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York
> in the face". L.Ward, Mansfield.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I
> did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imag i ne that I will ever
smile
> for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
> A.Christie,Hendon.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are s***"
> J.Clement. Grantham.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
> D.Holmes, Somerset.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
> visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to
> the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to
> the Nazisand I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a
> fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She ****ed herself later
> though, it was sickening". B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington,
> Penrith.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the dayoff".
> S.Wilson, Bristol.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
> family without being accused of being homosexual". J. Fletcher, High
> Wycombe.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
> experiment with drugs". E. Franks, Cheshire.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences". T.Watson,
> Ilford.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around
> The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists". Y. Howell,
> Slough.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
> should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her
> mother?" W.Waugh, Richmond.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
> K. O'Neil, Inverness.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
> public duties". N. Wallace, Swansea.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible
> event" E. Thompson, West Lothian.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> "Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel
> better" P.McGregor, Southampton.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels,
> jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk
> past her coffin". R. Thompson, Bath.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so
> again until her majesty is buried" E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
> R. Combes,
> Romford.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> "No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
> smile. Just like a retard" G. Hollins, East Sussex.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
> kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you
> know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of s***'. She was a
> wondrous person". E.Collier, London.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
> G.Williams, West Midlands.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she
> perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like
> us in a good way. God bless you ma'am". L. Weller, Harlow.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless
> b******!" J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> "She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and
> misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given
> a life of privilege and comfort" T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
>

Priceless!

 

[Cheddar George]

I'm looking forward to being able to use the word "catafalque" in conversation again.

One gets so few opportunities these days.

 

[TVC]

The smart money is on The Duke of Edinburgh popping his clogs first, he did have a practice run a couple of Christmasses back.

 

[ayceejay]

You haven't heard the worst of it yet - Elton friggin' John does an updated cover version of 'We've been together now for (fill in blank) years and it don't seem a day to much' so, hankies at the ready.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Can't we talk about football, or helmets and hi-viz instead.......?

 

[pplpilot]

Can't we talk about football, or helmets and hi-viz instead.......?

I would happily talk about football rather than the inbreds, and football coms a very close second to my pathological hatred of the royals.

 

[roadrash]

It would be completely and utterly HORRIFIC!! When not being utterly hysterical, the media would be practically playing with themselves in public!

The TV would be crammed solid of one utterly maddening, fawning, arse licking deferential programme after another, whilst the news would be full of so called 'Experts' who would do nothing but state the absolutely bloody ****ing obvious as if we are all about 5, interrupted only by interviews with devastated BNP/EDL types (probably with 6 toes on each foot) wearing Union Flags from head to toe and each looking more utterly deranged than the last.
Meanwhile, Politicians and Celebrities would be moving faster than Jimmy Saville at a School Sports Day towards one photo opportunity after another in order to show the world just how 'upset' they are. The papers would go into complete hyperactive exhaustion.
There would be queues full of gushing, Mrs Bucket, Prawn Sandwich Brigade types backing all the way from Westminster to Wimbledon just to see Her Maj lying in state, whilst The Bradford Exchange would go into hyperdrive, producing the biggest load of tatt ever recorded in the history of the Universe.
The Royal Mint would announce yet another set of needless 'commemorative' 50 pence pieces, 2 and £5 coins, and the Royal Mail or whatever they are called that week would unleash umpteen First Day Covers on us.

The Grenadier Guards would be out in Hyde Park performing a Million gun salute which would achieve precisely nothing except for scaring all the local dogs totally s*itless.... Although one of the guns was used on D-Day and the Queen once used it for hunting grouse you know, so that would make it all ok!!

We would be subjected to yet another of these round the country flame Beacon things or some sort of Baton Relay thingimybobber, with lots of well meaning idiots taking part.
....... And of course, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere near central London on the day of the Funeral (as if you'd ever want to anyway).

Right shower, the lot of them!

I hope I am out of the country when she finally does go, it really IS going to be quite excruciatingly hideous. The experience of Diana was bad enough thanks.

this has to be one of the best posts, EVER

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

this has to be one of the best posts, EVER

You mean I actually did something right for once?

 

[Moon bunny]

I watched a bit of Nelson Mandelas funeral today and a thought entered my heid....what it would be like and can you imagine if the Queen suddenly dropped down dead on Christmas Eve of all days? Crimbo TV schedules would be in disarray for one thing....thoughts anyone?

The best, or worst depending on your point of view, thing she could do is drop off during her own christmas speech, so they had to interrupt her to announce that she is dead.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

[QUOTE 2827926, member: 259"]Nobody's going that far...[/quote]

You cheeky......

Yes, I know I was setting myself up for that one, but the eyerolling emoticon? Ouch!!