#1 was custom built, the titanium extracted from the finest titanium mines, only the choicest tubes permitted to be formed into the sublime shape of a bicycle.
It has a chip inserted which will cause it to explode if anybody else rides it. This is the bike I have instructed the executor of my will to bury with me.
#2 is also titanium, which I am stockpiling.
Into the vault with you.
It doesn't ride to the standard set by #1 (this is either due to the geometry or the fact that it isn't as pretty), and so for punishment has mudguards installed. It's had most of the winter to itself.
---
#3 is the first of the rest of my bikes which isn't titanium. It folds. It has laughably small wheels. It gets taken to London because the train companies can, at times, get very cross with adult-sized bikes. It is very fast despite the fact that I'm the one pedalling, and squeezes into impossible places. It's magic.
#4 is a hybrid. It started life as a model, appearing in one of those beautifully illustrated Dorling Kindersley books that explains everything.
Everything.
This bike has taken me places I never thought I'd go, including the M1. After a long and storied career, it now sits between two bookcases, contemplating a life well lived.
#5 is a Langster. It offers a perfectly decent ride but doesn't get out much these days, which is a sadness. This is my break-glass-in-case-of-emergency bike.
#6 is a Bike Friday. It also folds. It once threw me on a road and left me to die, but I didn't, so all is forgiven. It's now old and in a bad way. I haven't done the humane thing because there's still room in the stable.
#7 spends most of its time hanging upside down like a bat at my sister's place near Toledo, Ohio. (Not the bat cave; that's Gotham City.) It only touches the ground when I visit once a year or so. It was cheap as chips. It exists to keep me from driving everywhere.
#8 was something I put together to satisfy my urge to put something together. As I didn't know what I was doing at the time, it's cheerfully awful.
#9 was stolen back in the day. It was a hybrid, and my first bike after I moved to the UK. It helped teach me all about city cycling, then took me on an end-to-end for the hell of it. I've included it on the list because it still lives on in my heart.
Here it is in happier times.