What's the most dodgiest possition you have been in on a bike??

Mad Doug Biker

Bikeoholics Anonymous
Location
Craggy Island
My most prolonged one ever:
I was down south last week and I had hired a bike to pootle about on.

One day, after a long day photographing at various locations, I was going to get the train back from Brockenhurst to Lymington once I had had something to eat. Unfortunately, I hadn't realised that the last train was at 21.59 (I kid you not), and I arrived at the station just in time to see the Blue and Grey 3 - CIG disappear into the darkness, rear headcode box blazing orange/red as it went.

Now, I never had had any real intention to cycle at night, particularly when I realised the bike I had been given didn't have any lights, but, this clearly was what I'd have to do, and most of the roads didn't have any street lights.

Luckily it was only about 5 or 6 miles and obviously I picked the less busy of the two roads
So, off I went into the pitch darkness (with me also wearing a black jacket I hasten to add - I'd mostly been doing off roading you see), looking out all the time for car headlights, and I would stop in enough time and get to the side of the road as they passed. It was slow, but it seemed to work.

And then, about halfway round the moor (you take one road and then you join another that doubles back on itself, so yes, round the moor), a Police car appeared, so after explaining the situation, they told me to go along the wrong side of the road so that oncoming traffic would see me, and I would see them much more readily, which sounded sensible if somewhat dangerous to me, and they would try to send a van out to pick me up.

Well, I never saw the van, so I just continued avoiding cars in the unlit blackness. The first roads were good, but the last unlit one was busier, which wasn't much fun to say the least!

Anyway, after a longer than usual journey, with all that stopping and starting and walking, (and hoping that nobody was lurking in the darkness beside me - car lights are great for illuminating the area about you), I finally got back to the B&B just about in one piece and not feeling terribly clever about what I'd just done (even though it had been unintentional).

Anyway, what's been your most dodgiest ride??
 

Steve Austin

The Marmalade Kid
Location
Mlehworld
riding my bmx like this
140507165_d87d592914_o.jpg
 

dellzeqq

pre-talced and mighty
Location
SW2
seat post sheared off at the top - had to put the saddle in my back pocket and do the last seven miles standing up
 

upsidedown

Waiting for the great leap forward
Location
The middle bit
Fell in the River Severn while riding my mountain bike, had to climb out of the chin height water while trying to get the bike off the riverbed.
 
Did a MTB route of my own devising through the black woods of Rannoch, across to Glen Lyon, down to Fortingall and then over the saddle on the west flank of Schiehallion.

Everything was fine to Fortingall, but as I did some river crossings on the way up the hill it started getting dark. There was a lot more snow on the hill than I'd anticipated, the top of it had formed a frozen crust, but it was weak and I kept dropping through into the snow beneath so progress was slow.

I didn't have lights and wasn't too confident about doing the descent in the dark. I was living by myself in a remote cottage and hadn't told anyone I was going out. I knew if I didn't make it back, no-one would wonder where I was for several days. I thought that I'd head for a bothy and overnight, finishing off my ride in the morning.

I never found the bothy, possibly because I was approaching from a different direction to normal, possibly because of the snow. I ended up doing the descent in pitch black - part cacking my pants and part getting a bit of a rush - and got home dead late but in one piece.

It was possibly one of the more stupid things that I've done, but it sort of summed up just why I enjoyed living there so much.
 

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
dellzeqq said:
seat post sheared off at the top - had to put the saddle in my back pocket and do the last seven miles standing up
I had that happen to me too but fortunately I was on top of one of the big hills above Hebden Bridge so I was able to freewheel home in 10 minutes.

Other dodgy things that have happened on my rides...
  • A MTB magazine covergift of a velcro-on plastic helmet peak decided to detach itself on a fast road descent and rotated down completely blocking my vision!
  • The creaking noise that had been bothering me for over an hour on my MTB turned out to be a stem bolt pulling out its thread. Fortunately it waited until I was at the bottom of a fast rocky technical descent before it pulled free allowing my handlebars to rotate through 90 degrees!
  • A week later, on the same descent I was troubled by a thwap, thwap, thwap noise. I got off my bike at the foot of the descent and watched in horrified fascination as my front inner tube bulged out through a large cut in the sidewall of the tyre. It then exploded with a mighty BANG!
  • (This happened to a mate on a ride with me) We were enjoying the scenery on a fast descent, looking towards the limestone pavement on the hills above Setlle. Not a great idea... He went off the edge of the road into a ditch, shot over the handlebars and headbutted a drystone wall. No, he wasn't wearing a helmet...
  • Same mate, different high speed descent... He suddenly slewed across the road in front of me, almost crashing into the opposite kerb. He jumped off his bike and started hopping about holding his right eye. He'd been riding without glasses and a huge bluebottle had just hit him smack in the eye. He looked like he'd been punched in the face by Mike Tyson!
  • My favourite dodgy position on a bike was when I was no longer on a bike at all. I'd been following a more skilled MTB rider down a bit of technical singletrack at Coed-y-Brenin when I lost control and went off the edge of the trail. I got separated from my bike which clattered down the hillside while I flew through the air. There was a conveniently-positioned tree which I manage to get hold of and I spun round it and landed back on my feet to the applause of several other mountain bikers who witnessed it!
 

kit-small-wheels

New Member
Location
Forest of Dean
Riding round the old Onchan Stadium track at Douglas on the Isle of Man last summer. The place is now a mini-moto track but the guys who ran it let me take a nostalgic lap or three around the track, as I'd done during the 1960s Cycling Weeks there.

I'd forgotten just how fast you had to ride to stay up on the banking, and halfway round the first lap found myself sliding down the banking toward the wall, which wasn't there in the 60s! Snicking down a few gears and stomping on it just prevented me smacking sideways into the wall, but my feet were less than an inch from that concrete.

When I got back my wife said 'You accelerated well on the first banking dear'. Little did she know...... ;)
 

Chrisz

Über Member
Location
Sittingbourne
Years go riding home from a mate of mine's house on my Grandad's old bike - no lights, 3 speed sit up and beg type thing (push-rod brakes!) at night. Had to go through 4 miles of pitch black country lanes followed by a very steep hill down (from Dover into Folkestone) not fun! :smile:
 

BrumJim

Forum Stalwart (won't take the hint and leave...)
Loosing both front and back brakes due to snapped cables on the descent down to University of Birmingham South Gate. Heading towards the A38 Bristol Road.

In some ways I was a bit lucky - could dive into the small wall and flower bed on top just before the gate. A mile later and I would have been heading towards the Pershore Road (almost as busy) with no suitable get-out clause.
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Ah, any excuse to get out my ditch story...

Out on a group ride, I was near the back of a strung out group, and getting warm. There was a hill ahead, so I decided to stop and take my longsleeved top off. I pulled over to the side of th road, and because the verge seemed quite high, put a foot down onto the verge straight out of the saddle, instead of coming forward off the saddle as I normally have to to get a foot down on the road.

Except it wasn't a high verge. It was a low verge, lower than the tarmac, but with long grass. My foot met nothing, and kept going. I was so unprepared that I went with it, and as my foot hit bottom, I did a complete sideways roll and slithered into the ditch under the hedge.

This left me upside down, head in the bottom of the ditch, legs sticking up and out from under the hedge - still on the bike! I think one wheel may have been spinning lazily for effect.

Fortunately, there were still two people behind me, and they pulled me out - I was wedged for a moment.

I completed the ride with bits of hedge in my hair, but I mostly look like that anyway....
 

fossyant

Ride It Like You Stole It!
Location
South Manchester
Might have to be a club run, came off Axe Edge then took a minor road, descending at speed in a group..... first rider over cooked a bend (wrong side), and we all followed...... the guy in a van on the other lane that stopped must have been more scared than us as we went between van and opposite hedge...........was a bit close...........
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
Riding my 10 speed home in the rain, head down, and I suddenly found myself lying on the boot of a parked car.
 
Mad Doug Biker said:
My most prolonged one ever:
I was down south last week and I had hired a bike to pootle about on.

One day, after a long day photographing at various locations, I was going to get the train back from Brockenhurst to Lymington once I had had something to eat. Unfortunately, I hadn't realised that the last train was at 21.59 (I kid you not), and I arrived at the station just in time to see the Blue and Grey 3 - CIG disappear into the darkness, rear headcode box blazing orange/red as it went.

Now, I never had had any real intention to cycle at night, particularly when I realised the bike I had been given didn't have any lights, but, this clearly was what I'd have to do, and most of the roads didn't have any street lights.

Luckily it was only about 5 or 6 miles and obviously I picked the less busy of the two roads
So, off I went into the pitch darkness (with me also wearing a black jacket I hasten to add - I'd mostly been doing off roading you see), looking out all the time for car headlights, and I would stop in enough time and get to the side of the road as they passed. It was slow, but it seemed to work.

And then, about halfway round the moor (you take one road and then you join another that doubles back on itself, so yes, round the moor), a Police car appeared, so after explaining the situation, they told me to go along the wrong side of the road so that oncoming traffic would see me, and I would see them much more readily, which sounded sensible if somewhat dangerous to me, and they would try to send a van out to pick me up.

Well, I never saw the van, so I just continued avoiding cars in the unlit blackness. The first roads were good, but the last unlit one was busier, which wasn't much fun to say the least!

Anyway, after a longer than usual journey, with all that stopping and starting and walking, (and hoping that nobody was lurking in the darkness beside me - car lights are great for illuminating the area about you), I finally got back to the B&B just about in one piece and not feeling terribly clever about what I'd just done (even though it had been unintentional).

Anyway, what's been your most dodgiest ride??
Ah yes across one side of Beaulieu Heath and round Hatchets Pond then back down the other side to Lymington. Hmm! Probably nearer ten miles.
 
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