What's the stupidest thing you've heard about bikes - by someone who should really know better?

I'll start. One day, I stopped by the local all-purpose-sports-store (I know, bad idea) to buy chain lube. Predictably, they only had "universal lube" in spray cans. So, I flag down a shopkeeper (who flags down another one and then another one) and ask, can you tell me more about this? Is this for wet or dry conditions? Do you have anything else? Etc, etc.

To which the bloke hands me a spray can of degreaser and goes "They're the same thing, but this one is cheaper. Same ingredients."
I kid you not. Degreaser.

Do you know this feeling when you hear something so profoundly stupid that it momentarily upends your whole understanding of the laws of the universe? Yeah. That was the only reason I said "Uhkay thanks." and not "Mate, did you fall from an oak tree onto a cactus."

I actually sprayed some of both on my hands to check what the hell those mystery cans did, because if a company had indeed made a three-in-one degreaser, chain lube, and cooking spray, they deserved a Nobel's in chemistry.
No miracles happened. The degreaser degreased my skin and the lube made it nice and slippery, what a surprise.

I just want to know: was the shopkeep indeed that much of a moron or did he take me for one?

Oh, and he also said I could bring my bike in for a service at their store. Uh... no.
 

raleighnut

Legendary Member
Location
On 3 Wheels
Sort of bike related, a mate got stpped by the feds on a Motorbike and after being given a 'produce' notice one of them was 'checking' his bike and informed him the rear brake was defective whilst deftly manipulating the clutch lever.
 
Location
London
Not quite stupid, but struck me as somewhat odd.
Went in a bikeshop in Nottingham once and they told me that they didn't sell bike pumps. None.
I still wonder now and again if it was all a terrible misunderstanding.
Pretty sure we were both speaking english though.
 
Location
London
the stupidest thing i have heard, is that you shouldn't spend any money on them, as they are all freely available at the dump. Spending money on them is just frivolous and any new technology is just marketing gumph.
maybe I will get round to posting my £21 wonder for your enjoyment - the seller got irritated with my techie questions about it (like what size it) and I swear did say - "I can't be bothered with this - I'll just send it to the dump". Never did tell me the exact size (it was beyond them to measure it) but it turned out fine.
 
Clean bikes are fastest :laugh:
 

Eric Olthwaite

Insert witty self-deprecating description here
I'll start. One day, I stopped by the local all-purpose-sports-store (I know, bad idea) to buy chain lube. Predictably, they only had "universal lube" in spray cans. So, I flag down a shopkeeper (who flags down another one and then another one) and ask, can you tell me more about this? Is this for wet or dry conditions? Do you have anything else? Etc, etc.

To which the bloke hands me a spray can of degreaser and goes "They're the same thing, but this one is cheaper. Same ingredients."
I kid you not. Degreaser.
You win today's prize for the best disguised "WD40 is not a lubricant" thread :tongue:
 
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