What's the worst bike you've ever had?

[Welsh wheels]

I had a mountain bike in my teens that had multiple things wrong with it. The gears had a mind of their own and would shift whenever they thought they could make things most inconvenient, normally when standing up on the pedals when climbing. There was squeak coming from somewhere that made me sound like Mickey Mouse on a bike ride. If I was lucky, the brakes would stop me no more than 5 minutes after I pressed the levers.
More recently, I owned a hybrid whose handlebars become loose. They never came off, but when I pulled even slightly upwards they would point skywards. Another hybrid's handlebars would turn when you went around the corner. Made cornering quite exciting.
Share your stories of deathtraps you've owned before you were as mechanically savvy or sensible as you are now.

 

[Drago]

The thread title reminds me of a Derek & Clive sketch.

 

[KneesUp]

I got one free when I joine a gym. I didn't own a bike at the time, mine having been stolen and not replaced some 6 years previously, and I thought it would be quite nice to get out and ride again. I rode it once - it's hard to say what was wrong with it, just that it felt like the accounting team had looked at the spec for a cheap bike, and reduced the budget for each item by 25%. I rode it once.

When I moved away it was still in the shed. My friends dad had mentioned he'd thought about getting a bike for popping to the shops and so on, so I told him I'd leave the shed unlocked and he could help himself. I later heard he'd ridden it once and come to much the same conclusion I had.

 

[Cp40Carl]

I had an Apollo from Tesco's. Cost about £60 new and was SO heavy I reckon it had an iridium frame and lead spokes. Kept me fit though.

 

[Milzy]

Had a Boardman from Halfords and it had Sora gears

 

[Hugh Manatee]

Worst bike I ever rode, (the bikes I owned I made sure I would like), was a Trek 9000. I was a few goes on one and it felt like I was riding a diving board. It cost a fortune and was an experiment that didn't work.

I think it was the last full suspension bike I ever tried! Have they got better? Dunno, I'll have to try one again.

 

[iateyoubutler]

A Cube Crossrace, bought it for the commute, it spent more time at the LBS than it did on the road, the thing was a dog from day one. I gave it away in the end - somebody else can attend to its never ending needs!!!

 

[Welsh wheels]

I had an Apollo from Tesco's. Cost about £60 new and was SO heavy I reckon it had an iridium frame and lead spokes. Kept me fit though.

That's the thing, I reckon I was fitter when I had crap bikes because I had to work a lot harder.

 

[Cp40Carl]

That's the thing, I reckon I was fitter when I had crap bikes because I had to work a lot harder.

Yeah, I've now got a relatively light road bike to compensate for my lack of fitness!

 

[DCLane]

This:

Currently for sale on eBay

 

[Brains]

We rode across Ireland in the early 2000's
Two of the bikes were riders own, two of the bikes were hired
One of the hire bikes was a couple of years old, the other was brand new, never ridden.

The brand new bike (Raleigh, from memory) needed daily attention, over the course of 10 days we virtually rebuilt the bike and visited every bike shop on the route, anything that could go wrong did go wrong, broken chain, broken gear and break cables, slipping saddle, loose bolts all over, useless tyres, breaks that wore out after two days!, spokes that needed permanent re-tuning,
The other hire bike was OK, it just needed the odd adjustment
The two personal bikes did not need so much as a check of the tyre pressures

 

[biggs682]

The thread title reminds me of a Derek & Clive sketch.

Now there's a blast from the past , i use to have a couple of cassette's of those 2

Very rude at times but very funny

 

[Levo-Lon]

Raleigh chopper with flat bars...I know..it was an acquired taste

 

[Drago]

I think looking back my Chopper was my worst bike.

In the seventies a kids bike had to do everything, on road and off, and the Chopper was good at neither. I was also an nearly version of Richard Hammond, intent on breaking the land speed record and wouldn't let a silly little thing like serious injury or death get in the way. Alas, the Chopper was so violently unstable that even walking it across the garden to the shed at the end of the day could set off a nasty tank slapper and it was eventually to break my leg.

At the time I was a cool dude, Dennis Hopper and Evel Knieval rolled into one, but looking back the reality failed to come close to the image. Choppers eventually faded away, but the modern equivalent would be an Audi.

If you're not easily offended go on YouTube and search "Derek and Clive The Worst Job He Ever Had"

 

[Roadhump]

It was 1996 and I had had my Raleigh road bike for 11 years, but was persuaded that mountain bikes were the future. I stupidly gave my Raleigh away and was conned into buying a Townsend Timbertrail by a bloke who ran a bike warehouse. I didn't know much about bikes (still don't, but knew even less then) and fell for his codswallop about it being a great bike.

It lasted about 18 months, but that was with frequent repairs. I took it off road a few times and it quickly started to fall apart. When I took it to the LBS for repair one time, the bloke there said it was the type of bike he would buy at a jumble sale, use it a couple of times and throw it away. He gave me a beginner's spiel about quality components and frames etc and I ended up buying a Rockhopper from him. It was like going from a Lada Riva to a 2.0S Capri, I couldn't believe the difference. I bought the Rockhopper in 1998 and still take it out for the occasional razz along a local off road trail.