What's your worst local insult (without swearing)

[jefmcg]

Standing in a queue at a supermarket wearing my Kilt two females behind me
one said to the other “what's that” “a weirdo said the other”
I turned round and saw to fat lady’s slobs, I said at lest I can buy my clothes at normal shops where do you get your from “rent-a-tent”

If you are so insecure that being called a weirdo makes you resort to fat jokes that some twelve year old would regard as unsophisticated*, then I think that maybe kilts aren't for you.

*I'd expect a 12 yo to have moved on to "yo mamma is so fat, that if she wears a striped dress, people think the circus has come to town."

 

[glasgowcyclist]

If you are so insecure that being called a weirdo makes you resort to fat jokes that some twelve year old would regard as unsophisticated*, then I think that maybe kilts aren't for you.

Of course, it could be that the kilt had nothing to do with the woman's remark...

 

[jefmcg]

I'm out of touch, but some aussie ones like "a roo loose in the top paddock", "bangs like a dunny door in the wind", "dingo"

 

[John the Monkey]

A local insult in my rarefied social circle would go something like this;
"You, Sir, are a cad and a bounder, and so damnably common that you once wore a bowler hat when you couldn't afford a new topper. "

 

[MarquisMatsugae]

I remember our NZ cricket professional Geoff Baker batting against another NZ pro (Mike Galletly I think),and the two of them having to be separated after Geoff told him he has always been a bit of a Strosser(or Strozzer).
No idea.

 

[gordonrgw]

My (English) dad once asked a woman in my (Scottish) mum's village if she had any children. She replied that she just had a "wee loonie"***. He said that he was really sorry to hear that ...

She took offence and asked him why? He replied that it he was sorry to hear about her son's mental disability ...






*** A little boy!

haha, very Mearns/Aberdeenshire: Loons (boys) and Quines* (Girls)

* not a clue how it's spelled..

 

[Globalti]

Yes "bush" is common in Africa.

Blackburn wendyball fans taunt their Burnley rivals by chanting something like: "Your mother is your wife and your father is your husband...." etc.

Curiously a friend of ours who is a GP in Burnley reckons the town has one of the highest rates of incestuous childbirth in England.

 

[User6179]

Yes "bush" is common in Africa

Lack of razors I suppose ..

 

[ColinJ]

Blackburn wendyball fans taunt their Burnley rivals by chanting something like: "Your mother is your wife and your father is your husband...." etc.

Curiously a friend of ours who is a GP in Burnley reckons the town has one of the highest rates of incestuous childbirth in England.

A fellow CycleChatter used to be a social worker in Burnley and he said the same thing.

 

[PaulSB]

Blackburn wendyball fans taunt their Burnley rivals by chanting something like: "Your mother is your wife and your father is your husband...." etc.

"Your Mum's your Dad
Your Dad's your Mum
You're interbred
You Burnley scum"

Which doesn't really make sense but gets the message across!!!

Both towns refer to each other as bastards, locally people know who is referring to who.

I feel I should mention though a die hard Rovers fan I don't partake in a nonsense rivalry which has intensified in the last 30 years. Since the maternity unit moved from Blackburn to Burnley I know of families who choose to use Preston maternity unit!!!

 

[Sharky]

Not really an insult, more of a tease .....

Catching your minute man and calling out "Thanks for waiting"!

 

[Markymark]

At the age of 3 my youngest son, apoplectic with rage at something his elder brother had inflicted upon him, turned , and before unleashing his fists, paused to find the worst insult possible, eventually coming out with. "you....stupid.... puffin".
We still use it in the family when anyone is being particularly annoying.

My youngest when she was around 3 last year was incandescent with rage. She looked at me and screamed with the most venom she could muster "OH DEAR, DADDY". The was very easily translated in emotions (though lack of vocabulary) as a very clear "F*CK YOU DAD"

 

[pplpilot]

Calling one of the born and bread locals a Brummie...

My neighbour is an out and out Daily Mail reading NIMBY snob and every opportunity I get I do this.

(If you know Solihull/Knowle/Dorridge you'll get this)

 

[PaulB]

Yes "bush" is common in Africa.

Blackburn wendyball fans taunt their Burnley rivals by chanting something like: "Your mother is your wife and your father is your husband...." etc.

Curiously a friend of ours who is a GP in Burnley reckons the town has one of the highest rates of incestuous childbirth in England.

Made up. My wife is the lead nurse in the children's service for the whole of East Lancashire and has shown me evidence that this isn't in any way true. She looked at the figures to test this theory put out by people from Blackburn and, as expected, she found this to be a fabrication of the most malicious sort. She pities anyone who buys in to this nonsense.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Here in Scotland we don't do insults without prefixed and suffixed swearing, so I can't help you. Sorry.

The same could be said for compliments