When is adultery acceptable?

[fossyant]

So, what happens as we all generally get older ? Bin your partner because of age related conditions, e.g. stroke ? My father in law cared for my mother in law for over 10 years before he died fairly suddenly with lung cancer, she is still going 2 years later, despite almost zero mobility.

 

[theclaud]

Sweet Jesus that's just evil.

There are at least two sides to every story of this kind.

 

[ufkacbln]

As above - we can only apply our own personal values to our decisions and situations.

For others it is their decision auto what they agree and how they deal with it.

Imposing YOUR morality on that is unacceptable

 

[Milzy]

Why do you ask @Milzy?

I am with @User46386 on this, I think.

I ask because a friend is in this situation and there's bullying going on in both sides from outsiders.

 

[Milzy]

As above - we can only apply our own personal values to our decisions and situations.

For others it is their decision auto what they agree and how they deal with it.

Imposing YOUR morality on that is unacceptable

This is the best answer so far.

 

[Saluki]

So, what happens as we all generally get older ? Bin your partner because of age related conditions, e.g. stroke ? My father in law cared for my mother in law for over 10 years before he died fairly suddenly with lung cancer, she is still going 2 years later, despite almost zero mobility.

My Great Aunt cared for Great Uncle Albert , who had MS, for as long as I can remember. I don't have any memories of him standing up. She said that she had made her vows and that was that. She didn't have the assistance that is available today and was heartbroken when he passed.
Many members of the family were very dismissive when, some time after his death, she joined a Widows and Widower's club and did social things like lunches and outings to the theatre. They said it was indecent.

I have told my husband that if I have a debilitating illness that he is to sod off and keep on living.

 

[Welsh wheels]

I'm not married, so I'm not especially qualified to say but...Love and marriage isn't just about what you can get out of it, it's about mutual support and love. In this situation, your spouse needs you more than ever. Even if your spouse has been gravely injured, they are still the same person you fell in love with, and hopefully people don't marry just on the basis of looks and physical health. Certainly I wouldn't want to marry someone who might up and leave if I became a vegetable for instance.

 

[Saluki]

I ask because a friend is in this situation and there's bullying going on in both sides from outsiders.

I see.
Yes, people do love to stick their oar in where it doesn't belong. It all depends on the individuals, and their choices I guess. Perhaps the best thing to do is support your friends in whatever decision that they have made.

 

[ufkacbln]

My Great Aunt cared for Great Uncle Albert , who had MS, for as long as I can remember. I don't have any memories of him standing up. She said that she had made her vows and that was that. She didn't have the assistance that is available today and was heartbroken when he passed.
Many members of the family were very dismissive when, some time after his death, she joined a Widows and Widower's club and did social things like lunches and outings to the theatre. They said it was indecent.

I have told my husband that if I have a debilitating illness that he is to sod off and keep on living.

Similar story with a relative who then exacerbated tis offensive act with the absolute and unacceptable heinous crime of re-marrying!

 

[fossyant]

I ask because a friend is in this situation and there's bullying going on in both sides from outsiders.

If someone is in that much need of care, then 24/7 care might be necessary, especially if you've got a family/household to support as well.

 

[Vantage]

Mrs D has MS and is ever so slowly declining, and it doesn't matter how bad she gets, as God is my witness I'll keep it tucked in my pants.

Can't really bring myself to do a 'like' on this.
But agree with your outlook on life.

 

[Saluki]

Similar story with a relative who then exacerbated tis offensive act with the absolute and unacceptable heinous crime of re-marrying!

I heard that my mother was dating a chap some 6 years after my father died. Family were deeply affronted. I think they were relieved when she died before it 'got too serious'. They actually used the word 'relieved' in my presence.

 

[Dayvo]

Yes but ethics come into play here. They get you in the room and start to prepare the lethal injection and you totally change your mind but can't communicate to tell them to stop?

I'm aware of that, but I know what I think/believe (and no, it's not a religion-based).

 

[fossyant]

The couple in the caravan next to ours, both their partners had died, and they met later on. Life does go on, and they are having a whale of a time. Must be in their late 60's and stagger in in the early hours every saturday from the club.

 

[redvision95]

It's one of those things that are personal and you don't really know what would happen until it happens. I personally would never want my partner to stop living a life to take care of me etc but I know her feelings on this subject. As far as she's concerned, We're forever no matter what and that's that. No leaving or doing anything with anyone else when things get tough.

Last year I was involved in a motorcycle accident, She refused to leave my side to the point where the hospital broke rules to let her stay with me. She took care of me and helped with certain things. I know that if it came to it, I would do exactly the same for her. Regardless of how long it was for.. I could never be with anyone else.

Saying that I understand why people would start another relationship if something like that were to happen.