When is adultery acceptable?

[KnackeredBike]

I will be honest, if I ever required long term care give me the bottle of pentobarbital and let Mrs KB frolic away.

I say that working in care with people who are not on life support but are fed through one tube, wear nappies to deal with the other, constant pressure sores because they can't move in bed... and for what? So they can sit in bed watching TV and dribbling all day. And their carer needs to centre their lives around you just to maintain that "quality" of life. I couldn't ask anyone to do that for me.

That said, when you see people with degenerative diseases like MS they seem content even though they have known a "normal" life - maybe if you get to that stage dribbling and Jeremy Kyle seems like a good day.

 

[stephec]

If anyone wants a real life example of this it's worth reading Travelling to Infinity by Jane Hawking, ex wife of Stephen Hawking.

She tells how as he degenerates a man steps in to help out from day to day, and explains how their feelings develop even though they both know it's wrong.

 

[Electric_Andy]

Call me old fashioned, but for me, the whole idea of getting married and having kids is to stay together no matter what. I've got 2 stepkids, so have seen the emotional carnage that separation can inflict on young kids. And in both cases the separations were amicable, so god help the poor blighters who endure the mud slinging of an ugly divorce.

Behaviors such as finding another person (in the OPs example) are not what I'd want to promote to the next generation.

 

[Electric_Andy]

No matter what is a big statement to make considering what goes on in many marriages, I've found that many who stay together for the sake of the kids is one person controlling the situation for their own benefit rather than the children,
staying together for the sake of the children is not a recipe for happiness, and the children nearly always know,

there really are some very judgemental, sanctimonious people here, people in glass houses comes to mind.

I am not judging others when I refer to my own personal idea of what marriage is, and how much it is "worth". Of course I don't know every couples' unique situation, but I'd like to think that marriage is for ever, unless irreparable damage occurs. IMHO a partner who has suffered life altering injuries is not an irreparable event, quite the opposite in fact. But everyone has their own views on marriage and how easily or not the marriage vows are deemed null and void.

 

[Electric_Andy]

And I would add to that (regarding children): If the household is constantly miserable then it's no place to raise children. I would (and already do) make sacrifices and comprises that are not ideal for me, but are essential to maintain an environment at home where my children feel loved, stable and supported. If this included me caring for my wife whilst she is in a vegetative state, then so be it.

again vows mean nothing and for some life altering injuries are an irreparable event, we are all different, whats irreparable to you and me isn't to others.

I'm not sure anyone can say what they would or wouldn't do until it happens. Having an online debate about it now seems a bit sadistic and the thought of it is horrible. No offense OP, but it's something I no longer want to think about!

 

[Vapin' Joe]

but I'd like to think that marriage is for ever, unless irreparable damage occurs.

If marriage was forever there would be no divorce laws. I don't know the figures, but it would not surprise me if most divorces these day came about after the kids reached adulthood, bearing in mind that more and more fifty and sixty somethings are parting. If you marry in your twenties you will both be different people three or four decades down the line and may well no longer be compatible.

 

[Levo-Lon]

Until you get caught...then its unacceptable

 

[Milzy]

The wife visits the Husband and took a large some of money from his bank to build an extension so he can come and visit. Still he's not been once after 2 years. Is it getting more sadistic now?

 

[Slick]

The wife visits the Husband and took a large some of money from his bank to build an extension so he can come and visit. Still he's not been once after 2 years. Is it getting more sadistic now?

Yes.

 

[Milzy]

What do you care about all this?, its none of your business really, do you just live your life through other peoples drama?. I find it very odd that you are so caught up in other peoples lives.

I was hoping for the majority to say it's fair enough but it seems to be an even split.

 

[fossyant]

Your story is hit and miss to give an opinion. How cognitive is the poor person, and I assume was an accident.

 

[Milzy]

Your story is hit and miss to give an opinion. How cognitive is the poor person, and I assume was an accident.

Not very cognitive. Assault, it makes no difference how it happened in all fairness.

 

[Slick]

Not very cognitive. Assault, it makes no difference how it happened in all fairness.

Ffs, it just gets worse.

 

[fossyant]

Not very cognitive. Assault, it makes no difference how it happened in all fairness.

Ah, poor sod wont know much, but the partner needs to be careful (or hasn't been) to protect any inheritance. Legal minefield, and time is an issue before going out and making new off-spring..... Adds a very different perspective to your original post. Having spent nearly 6 weeks thinking I'll might not walk again/have nappies and what my family might do, it's a bit different if you've been mentally bashed up and don't have that understanding.

 

[Milzy]

Ah, poor sod wont know much, but the partner needs to be careful (or hasn't been) to protect any inheritance. Legal minefield, and time is an issue before going out and making new off-spring..... Adds a very different perspective to your original post. Having spent nearly 6 weeks thinking I'll might not walk again/have nappies and what my family might do, it's a bit different if you've been mentally bashed up and don't have that understanding.

They both have deactivated their Facebook accounts in case they get hate messages.