Wierd Conversations

[Skyfoil]

I also take my bike on the train.

The other week a young girl, probably about 5 years old, was running up and down the carriage when I boarded the train. When she spotted me, she immediately sat down next to her mom and dad, as good as gold. They were sat near to where I was standing with the bike;

Girl: Mommy, is that a Policeman?

Mom: No, I don't think so.

It must have been the yellow hi-vis jacket that did it, but at this point, the father, realising it was my presence that was pacifying his daughters mischief decides to go with it...

Dad: (To daughter - ) Yes, actually, I believe he is! (To me - ) Excuse me sir, are you a police officer?

Me (Quite amused at this point): Yes sir, I am. How may I help you?

Dad: My daughter is concerned that you're here to arrest her.

Me: No, I only arrest naughty people.

She didn't move a muscle the whole journey. I recognised a nod of appreciation from the father as they left the train later on.

 

[Brommie77]

my theory is the Brommie is an investment for when I inevitably (current company might get relocated too far away for me) - end up commuting back into Central London some time in the future.

Quite right - and just think of all the car usage you are saving on with the short journeys, not to mention the health benefits. Keep it up.

Dad: My daughter is concerned that you're here to arrest her.

Me: No, I only arrest naughty people.

She didn't move a muscle the whole journey. I recognised a nod of appreciation from the father as they left the train later on.

Cool - wish someone would do that with my son on the train!!

 

[Bigsharn]

"Next time I'd hit him"

Some pillock in a HGV pulled out in front of another cyclist, so myself and the cyclist had a conversation the length of Petergate in York.

Riding side by side through the centre of York is weird, let alone having a conversation with someone

 

[Jonathing]

In a walk in treatment centre, I am sat in full lycra gear, cycle helmet in hand, wearing SPD shoes and missing much of the skin on my right hand side.

"How did you get to us today?"

I was considering telling them I slid in on my face (not far from the truth) but instead I said "bike".

 

[Brommie77]

In a walk in treatment centre, I am sat in full lycra gear, cycle helmet in hand, wearing SPD shoes and missing much of the skin on my right hand side.

"How did you get to us today?"

I was considering telling them I slid in on my face (not far from the truth) but instead I said "bike".

That's reminded me of a conversation I had about 10 years ago when I lived in just north of Bristol - I cycled into the city centre to a medical for a new job, and bearing in mind I was dressed in full cycling gear (eg lycra etc) had about half an hour of being lectured by the nurse on healthy lifesyles. The real irony of it was that the nurse was considerably larger than I was, and I kind of felt she chould have done with some of her own advice! She seemed concerned as my pulse was a little higher than normal, but then I had just ridden 12 miles to the medical which she really didn't believe was possible as it was far too far to ride.

 

[gaz]

I get asked weekly about my camera from other road users.

But the weirdest is people calling me by name, they recognise my bike or the camera or my voice and they call me out. But i have no idea who they are :S

 

[Bman]

Im in London all week on training. Mostly everyone just sits there miserable reading their Metro.

But while I'm there I do wonder when I see some of the better cyclists, if it is indeed one of you guys.

I'm pretty sure the two fixie riders riding with no hands (one eating a sandwich, one with his hands in his coat pockets) do not frequent here! Also, I hope the other cyclist that spat at a car ater it pulled out from a stop sign in front of him doesnt either.

If not your forum name, what should we shout?

 

[gaz]

If not your forum name, what should we shout?

Who ate all the pies?

 

[suecsi]

Or who ate all the:-

• Starbucks Cinnamon Rolls
• Kates Cakes Oat and Fruit Biscuits

mmm Puccinos coffee bar at Twickenham station is a bit lethal when I have 12 minutes between connections.

 

[Fab Foodie]

This one girl at college when locking up her bike when I'm there always insists on commenting on the weather. It's been going on for a few months now, to the point that I have just started ignoring her.

Also, OT but another weird encounter today :

I went into the toilets at college, did my thing and was ready to walk out. There was a guy washing his hands throughout the duration of my wee. So as I am ready to leave, he says;

Him : Wash your hands!
Me : What??????????
Him : You should wash your hands!
Me : Ermm, ok suppose I should.
Him : I always wash my hands, every time I touch door handles or anything that other people touch.
Me : Ermm, ok, I'll be leaving now.

And I left him to keep washing his hands.

Did you wash your hands after you'd wee'd or not? If not, you should be ashamed of yourself.

 

[Bromptonaut]

Did you wash your hands after you'd wee'd or not? If not, you should be ashamed of yourself.

The old ones are the best:-

Yoof in England shirt etc relieves himself in German public loo & makes to leave.

Loud German voice - "In Chermany ve are taught to wash our hands after using ze toilet"

Brit voice - "In engerland ve are taught not to piss on our fingers"

 

[rustychisel]

That's reminded me of a conversation I had about 10 years ago when I lived in just north of Bristol - I cycled into the city centre to a medical for a new job, and bearing in mind I was dressed in full cycling gear (eg lycra etc) had about half an hour of being lectured by the nurse on healthy lifesyles. The real irony of it was that the nurse was considerably larger than I was, and I kind of felt she chould have done with some of her own advice! She seemed concerned as my pulse was a little higher than normal, but then I had just ridden 12 miles to the medical which she really didn't believe was possible as it was far too far to ride.

Yup.

At a medical checkup a few years ago, the doctor being a family friend.

Him: you're pretty fit, cycle a lot, and everything seems okay, but you really should give up smoking.

Me: and you should get off your arse and lose about 50lb you fat bastard!

Haven't spoken to him again.







Many years ago, medical checkup. Middle aged doctor trying to be hip and smart to a younger man with a ponytail down to his arse.

Him: so what sort of drugs do you do? Smack? Cocaine? Scag? Junk? Speed?

Me: You're a stupid c**t. This consultation is over.

 

[asterix]

I also take my bike on the train.

The other week a young girl, probably about 5 years old, was running up and down the carriage when I boarded the train. When she spotted me, she immediately sat down next to her mom and dad, as good as gold. They were sat near to where I was standing with the bike;

Girl: Mommy, is that a Policeman?

Mom: No, I don't think so.

It must have been the yellow hi-vis jacket that did it, but at this point, the father, realising it was my presence that was pacifying his daughters mischief decides to go with it...

Dad: (To daughter - ) Yes, actually, I believe he is! (To me - ) Excuse me sir, are you a police officer?

Me (Quite amused at this point): Yes sir, I am. How may I help you?

Dad: My daughter is concerned that you're here to arrest her.

Me: No, I only arrest naughty people.

She didn't move a muscle the whole journey. I recognised a nod of appreciation from the father as they left the train later on.

You do realise that impersonating a police officer is an offence?

 

[CharlieB]

I stop at a Tesco petrol station most mornings to get bananas and milk, always dressed in a yellow jacket, shorts, helmet and gloves. Most mornings they asking I've got fuel. I suppose I could point to the bananas but I think it would be lost on them.

 

[Gixxerman]

Not all cycling related but strange / funny nonetheless:-

1) As a kid walking along carrying a fishing rod. Pass and old boy sat on bench.
OB: "You off fishing sonny?"
ME: <sarcasm mode> "No I off playing snooker." </sarcasm mode>
OB: "Why are you carrying a fishing rod then?"
ME: silence

2) On side of road changing a completely flat car tyre. Have wheel off and was just about to go get the spare, when an old lady walks past.
OL: "Oh dear, has your wheel fallen off?"
ME: "No I took it off to change the wheel."
OL: "Why?"
ME: <sarcasm mode> "Oh, no reason, I just felt like it." </sarcasm mode>

3) Went to cadwell park racing circuit on my cycle to watch a track day with 2 mates who had driven.
It is about 20 miles from my house.
My mates mate asked.
MMM: "Why have you brought your bike with you, can't you be bothered to walk round the circuit like everybody else?"
ME: "What are you talking about?"
MMM: Why have you brought your bike along in your car?"
ME: "I'm not in my car, I have cycled".
MMM: "What all the way from your house?!" (whilst looking at me as if I am crazy)
ME: "Yes. Why what is wrong with that?"
MMM: "Well how are you going to get back?"
ME: "Well, cycle obviously."
MMM: "But it is miles!"
ME: "Yep, about 20 or so."
MMM: "And your going to cycle it?"
ME: "That was the general idea, yeah"