wife is struggling, how to breech the ability gab?

[chrismisterx]

So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.

I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.

We had our first longish ride together ( 16 miles ) which we took nice and slow, but she felt she was holding me back, as I never really noticed how much I had improved since I started to ride, the hills that had beaten me hands down I could just about manage to get up now and she really struggled.

They was lots of "sorry can I stop a min" and she was feeling really bad, i explained it was fine and she would improve like I am, but I think its put her off quite a bit. She feels without the time to invest she will never improve enough.

So whats the options here?

I was thinking maybe some form of indoor training, would a spinning bike for home help or even a Tandem?

We were hoping one day to travel from North shields to Moray in North Scotland to visit her parents and that was a goal for this summer, but now she is doubtful she will ever get that conditioned.

I know very little about bikes atm anyway but know nothing at all about tandems and any advice about setting up something at home for training on would be great, we want to tour the UK, so wouldn't be "racing". would a excise bike be worth the investment or should we look at a tandem?

Help me help her get her mo-jo back, would hate for her to give up at the first hurdle, took an age to try and get her to take the plunge to start with.

 

[Heltor Chasca]

Let her think about ridng with a social group. Possibly a ladies group. You will also need to take your foot off the gas. She should dictate the pace and rest stops.

 

[alicat]

A tandem is great for mixed ability couples.

It sounds like you have more free time than she does. Could you do a bigger share of the jobs around the house so she has more time to go out for rides if she wants to?

 

[Pumpkin the robot]

E bike?

 

[Sharky]

What bikes do you both have? My OH is a very occasional rider and has a heavy "shopper" bike, whereas I would normally ride a lightweight road bike. However, when we have gone out together, I use an old heavy mountain bike and this helps to close the gap a little.

A tandem is also worth considering. I have a tandem trike that I used when going out with my eldest (autistic) daughter and we managed rides up to 35 miles and she never got dropped.

 

[chrismisterx]

A tandem is great for mixed ability couples.

It sounds like you have more free time than she does. Could you do a bigger share of the jobs around the house so she has more time to go out for rides if she wants to?

Already do that, when we had kids she didn't want to give up work so I became a stay at home dad. So i learnt to do all the cooking and cleaning and that pretty much stuck, I really enjoy the cooking to be honest, she works shifts which I think is making things more difficult for her.

Let her think about ridng with a social group. Possibly a ladies group. You will also need to take your foot off the gas. She should dictate the pace and rest stops.

Indeed, i had her dictating the pace, she just seemed to feel bad as she felt it was going slow, I just hope she isn't having second thoughts about the whole things as i think the health benefits are too good to miss out on.

 

[chrismisterx]

E bike

Electric bike? Never thought about that, would an Electric bike be good for touring?

 

[FishFright]

You could slow down and make sure she enjoys the rides and go faster when you're on your own.

It's always simpler for the faster rider to slow down.

 

[MikeG]

When is this planned tour of yours?

If it's next summer, then she's plenty of time. I reckon you could probably get ready for touring with a decent couple of months of regular riding beforehand, so anything you do during the winter is a bonus, and then start training in earnest next spring. Maybe getting her a better bike might be an incentive. How about letting her ride alone for a while, so that she isn't so conscious of the current performance gap? Or, as someone else said, get her involved with a small group ride which doesn't involve you.

Starting up is the hardest part (little and often is the key). You've got over that hurdle, and she hasn't quite yet. Maybe leave it until she is comfortable riding 30 miles at her own pace, without you, before you ride together again.

 

[Racing roadkill]

Get her to join a Breeze group ride or 2.

https://www.letsride.co.uk/breeze

She’ll soon get her mojo back. As soon as she’s as good as you, she won’t be holding you back anymore, and you can go on 3 hr rides together and enjoy it.

 

[winjim]

Switch your mindset and change the focus to take away the pressure of performance. Don't go out 'for a ride'. Go out to the pub, to a cafe, to the countryside, to the local beauty spot. Just do it by bike.

 

[Andy in Germany]

I remember the day I changed from a 'normal' cheap MTB to a better quality bike with better bearings on the wheels and cranks, brakes that didn't rub the rims all the time: It was a revelation not to have to pedal going downhill. This repeated later when I changed from knubbly MTB tyres to nice smooth road tyres: I thought I was flying.

There's a lot of variables in there, even without personal fitness. Maybe try and find people local to you who know their stuff and/or swap bikes for a few hundred metres and see if the experience is different.

 

[Vantage]

My fiancée has the same mindset...she rides so slow that it must be boring for me. Pfft.
I've told her the miles and how quickly they pass don't matter. It's the fact that we're both out enjoying ourselves that's important.
She still hasn't touched her bike in months.
Perhaps I'll just nag her till she gives in...

 

[Skibird]

So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.

I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.

We had our first longish ride together ( 16 miles ) which we took nice and slow, but she felt she was holding me back, as I never really noticed how much I had improved since I started to ride, the hills that had beaten me hands down I could just about manage to get up now and she really struggled.

They was lots of "sorry can I stop a min" and she was feeling really bad, i explained it was fine and she would improve like I am, but I think its put her off quite a bit. She feels without the time to invest she will never improve enough.

So whats the options here?

I was thinking maybe some form of indoor training, would a spinning bike for home help or even a Tandem?

We were hoping one day to travel from North shields to Moray in North Scotland to visit her parents and that was a goal for this summer, but now she is doubtful she will ever get that conditioned.

I know very little about bikes atm anyway but know nothing at all about tandems and any advice about setting up something at home for training on would be great, we want to tour the UK, so wouldn't be "racing". would a excise bike be worth the investment or should we look at a tandem?

Help me help her get her mo-jo back, would hate for her to give up at the first hurdle, took an age to try and get her to take the plunge to start with.

So my wife is losing heart some what, due to her work commitments she just doesn't get to use her bike as often as she would like.

I was getting to go out 4-5 times a week with time for a couple of long rides 3 hours plus and she only managed to get out once or twice in the last month.

We had our first longish ride together ( 16 miles ) which we took nice and slow, but she felt she was holding me back, as I never really noticed how much I had improved since I started to ride, the hills that had beaten me hands down I could just about manage to get up now and she really struggled.

They was lots of "sorry can I stop a min" and she was feeling really bad, i explained it was fine and she would improve like I am, but I think its put her off quite a bit. She feels without the time to invest she will never improve enough.

So whats the options here?

I was thinking maybe some form of indoor training, would a spinning bike for home help or even a Tandem?

We were hoping one day to travel from North shields to Moray in North Scotland to visit her parents and that was a goal for this summer, but now she is doubtful she will ever get that conditioned.

I know very little about bikes atm anyway but know nothing at all about tandems and any advice about setting up something at home for training on would be great, we want to tour the UK, so wouldn't be "racing". would a excise bike be worth the investment or should we look at a tandem?

Help me help her get her mo-jo back, would hate for her to give up at the first hurdle, took an age to try and get her to take the plunge to start with.

This used to be me (I'm faster/stronger now though lol) until I realised at the time that I would probably never be as strong etc as apart from him being a man, he's an ex motorbike racer so has naturally strong legs. Once you stop "trying to keep up" with someone stronger than you, this immediately takes some of the stress out of it. Now, when I go out with people who have much less experience than me, I enjoy it much more than being on my own and going faster etc, as I'm taking in more of the ride, enjoying the scenery etc, if this is you when out with your wife, make sure you tell her how much you enjoy riding at a more relaxed pace and hopefully she will believe you. If she sticks with it, she WILL get better, although more slowly and like others have said, make the ride more enjoyable, plan to stop at a cafe for tea/lunch etc and make a nice day of it, rather than just getting some bike training done.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Have you got a rack on your bike? Load your bike up with about 20kg of luggage and even up the difficulty.